[a madman in a props cupboard]
He has got into our Tiring-house amongst us,
And tane a strict survey of all our properties,
Our statues and our images of Gods;
Our Planets and our constellations
Our Giants, Monsters, Furies, Beasts, and Bug-Bears,
Our Helmets, Shields, and Vizors, Haires, and Beards,
Our Pasteboard March-paines, and our Wooden Pies...
...wonder he did
A while it seem'd, but yet undaunted stood:
When on the sudden, with thrice knightly force,
And thrice, thrice, puissant at me he snatcheth downe
The sword and shield that I playd Bevis with,
Rusheth amongst the foresaid properties,
Kills Monster, after Monster; takes the Puppets
Prisoners, knocks down the Cyclops, tumbles all
Our jigambobs and trinkets to the wall.
Spying at last the Crown and royal Robes
Ith upper wardrobe, next to which by chance,
The devils' vizors hung, and their flame-painted
Skin coats; those he removed with greater fury,
And (having cut the infernal ugly faces,
All into mammocks) with a reverend hand,
He takes the imperial diadem and crowns
Himself King of the Antipodes.
Wizards! old blind Buzzards!
For once they hit, they miss a thousand times;
And most times give quite contrary, bad for good,
And best for worst. One told a Gentleman
His son should be a man-killer, and hang'd for't;
Who after proved a great and rich Physician,
And with great Fame ith' University
Hang'd up in Picture for a grave example.
There was the whim of that. Quite contrary!
Found, that a squint-eyed boy should prove a notable
Pick-purse, and afterwards a most strong thief;
When he grew up to be a cunning Lawyer,
And at last died a Judge. Quite contrary!
How many have been mark'd out by these Wizards
For fools, that after have been pricked for Sheriffs?
Was not a Shepherd-boy foretold to be
A Drunkard, and to get his living from
Bawds, Whores, Thieves, Quarrellers, and the like?
And did he not become a Suburb Justice?
And live in Wine and Worship by the Fees
Racked out of such Delinquents? There's the whim on't.
A Jovial Crew I.i.