OT often without marveile many a time and
often have I considered wyth my self
howe one errour should arise, the which
bicause it is generally seene in olde men, a man may beleave it is
proper and
naturall unto them: and that is, how (in
a maner) all of them commend the times
| An errour in age.
The cause of the errour. |
| Tyme of youth.
Senses of the body. The mind of olde age. |
| Thinges beloved that accumpanye pleasures.
Old mens opinion of Courtes. |
| Envie. Women wanton. Men Womanish. Aparaile. Contraries. Socrates. |
| One contrarie foloweth an other.
Better wittes now then in foretime. Thinges neither good nor badd. |
| Facions setby in the olde tyme.
The sayinge of olde men. Noble wittes in the Court of Urbin. |
Here not tariynge for Sir Friderickes answere, And what greate weight (I beseche ye) is it? said then Unico Aretino. Who is so foolishe that whan he can do a thinge, will not do it in a fit and due time?
Reasoninge in this wise about the matter, every man satte him downe in his wonted place and maner with very heedful expectacion of the propounded talke.
Then Sir Fridericke tourninge him to Unico: Doe you not think then, M. Unico (quoth he) that I am laden this night with a great and peinful burden, since I must declare in what sort, maner and time, the Courtier hath to practise hys good condicions and qualities, and to use those other thinges that are alreadie saide to be mete for him?
Me thynke it is no great matter, answered Unico: and I beleve a good judgement in the Courtyer is sufficient for al this, which the Count saide well yesterday nighte that he oughte to have: and in case it be so, without any other preceptes, I suppose he may practyse welynough the thynge that hee knoweth in due time and after a good sorte. The whiche to bring more particularly into rule were to harde a matter, and perhappes more then nedeth, for I know not who is so fonde to go about his fence, whan the rest be in their musicke: or to goe about the streetes daunsing the Morisco, though he could doe it never so well: or goinge aboute to comfort a mother that had buried her childe, to beginne to talke with her of pleasant matters and mery conceites. I beleve surely no gentleman will do this, onlesse he wer cleane out of his wittes.
Me think (M. Unico) quoth Sir
Friderick then, ye harpe
to muche uppon your extremities. For it happeneth otherwhile
a man is so fonde that he remembreth not himself so
easilye, and oversightes are not all alike. And it may be
that a man shall abstaine from a common foly which is to manifest, as
that is you speak of, to go daunce the Morisco
in the market place, and yet shal he not refraine from
praising himself out of purpose, from using a noysome
sawcinesse, from casting out otherwhile a worde thinking
Manye bent to finde faultes. Stoici. To set out one qualytie with another. Generall rules. Avoid curiositye.
to make men laughe, whiche for that it is spoken out of
time will appeare colde and without any grace, and these
oversightes often times are covered with a certaine veile
that suffereth a manne not to forget who doeth them,
onlesse he take no heed to them: and although for many
causes our sight descerneth but litle, yet for ambicions sake
it is darkened in especyall, for every man willingly setteth
forth himselfe in that he perswadeth himself he knoweth
whether this perswasion of his bee true or false. Therefore
the well behaving of a mannes selfe in this case (me think)
consisteth in a certein sidedome and judgement of choise,
and to knowe more and lesse what encreaseth or diminisheth
in thinges, to practise them in due time or out of season.
And for all the Courtyer be of so good a judgement that he
can discerne those differences, yet shall he the sooner compasse
that hee seketh, if his imagination be opened with
soem rule, and the wayes shewed him, and (as it were) the
places where he should ground himself upon, then yf he
should take him self onely to the generaltie. Fosomuche
as therefore the Count yesterday night entreated upon
Courtyership so copiously and in so good a maner, he hath
made me (truely) conceive no small feare and doubte that I
shall not so throughly satisfie this noble audience in the
matter that lieth upon me to discourse in, as he hath done
in that was his charge. Yet to make my self partener in
what I maye of his praise, and to be sure not to erre (at
the least in thys part) I will not contrarie him an any point.
Wherefor agreing to his opinions, and beside the reste, as
touchynge noblenes of birthe, wit and disposition of person
and grace of countenaunce, I say unto you that to gete hym
prayse worthely and a good estimation with all men, and
favour with suche great men as he shal attende upon, me
thinke it behouffull he have the understanding to frame all
hys life and to set foorth his good qualities generally in
company with al men without purchasing himself envy. The whiche howe
harde a matter it is of it selfe, a man
maye consider by the sildomenesse of suche as are seen to
attain to that point: because we are al the sort of us in
very dede more enclined of nature to dispraise faultes, then
to commende thinges well done. And a man would thinke
that many by a certain rooted malice, although they manifestly
descerne the goodnes, enforce themselves with al study
and diligence to finde in us either a faulte or at the leaste
To observe time.
the likenes of a fault. Therefore it behoveth oure Courtyer
in all his doinges to be charie and heedfull, and what so he
saith or doeth to accompany it with wisedome, and not onely
to set his delite to have in himself partes and excellent
qualities, but also to order the tenour of his life after suche
a trade, that the whole may be answerable unto these partes,
and see the selfe same to bee alwayes and in every thing
suche, that it disagree not from it selfe, but make one body
of all these good qualities, so that everye deede of his may
be compact and framed of al the vertues, as the Stoikes say
the duetie of a wiseman is: although not withstanding
alwaies one vertue is the principall, but all are so knit and
linked one to an other, that they tende to one ende, and all
may bee applyed and serve to every purpose. Therefore it
behoveth he have the understandynge to set them forth,
sometime to make the other the better knowen: as the
good peincters with a shadow make the lightes of high places
to appeere, and so with light make lowe the shadowes of
plaines, and meddle divers coulours together, so that
throughe that diversitie bothe the one and the other
are more sightly to behoulde, and the placing of the
figures contrarie the one to the other is a helpe to them
to doe the feate that the peincters mynde is to bring to
passe. So that lowlines is muche to be commended in a Gentleman that is
of prowesse and well seene in armes:
and as that fearcenesse seemeth the greater whan it is
accompanied with sobermoode, even so dooeth sobermood
encrease and shewe it selfe the more through fiercenesse.
Therefore little speaking, muche dooing, and not praising
a mannes owne selfe in commendable deedes, dissemblying
them after an honeste sorte, dooeth encrease both the
one vertue and the other in a person that can discreatly
use this trade: and the like is to be said in all the other
To set forthe good qualities.
good qualities. Therefore will I have our Courtyer in that
he doeth or saieth to use certaine general rules, the whiche
(in my minde) containe briefly asmuch as belongeth to me
to speake. And for the first and chief lette him avoid (as
the Count saide wel in that behalf yester night) above all
thinges curiositie. Afterwarde let him consider wel what
the thing is he doth or speaketh, the place wher it is done,
in presence of whom, in what time, the cause why he doeth
it, his age, his profession, the ende whereto it tendeth, and
the meanes that may bring him to it: and so let him apply
himselfe discreatly with these advertisementes to whatsoever
he mindeth to doe or speake.
Lowlinesse.
Circumstances.
After Syr Fridericke had thus saide, he seemed to staye a whyle.
Then said M. Morello of Ortona: Me thinke these your rules teache but litle. And I for my parte am as skilfull now as I was before you spake them, althoughe I remember I have harde them at other times also of friers with whom I have bene in confession, and I weene they terme them circumstances.
Then laughed Syr Fridericke and
said: If you doe well
beare in mynde, the Counte willed yesternighte that the
chief profession of the Courtyer should bee in armes, and
spake very largely in what sorte he shoulde do it, therefore
will we make no more rehearsall thereof: yet by our rule it
may be also understoode, that where the Courtyer is at a
skirmishe, or assault, or battaile upon the land, or in such
other places of enterprise, he ought to worke the matter
wisely in seperating himself from the multitude, and
take his notable and bould feates which he hath to do with
as litle company as he can, and in the sighte of noble men
that be of most estimation in the campe, and especially in
the presence and (if it wer possible) beefore the very eyes of
his king or greate parsonage he is in service withal: for in
dede it is mete to set forth to the shew thinges well done.
And I beleave even as it is an yll matter to seke a false
renoume, and in the thing he deserveth no praise at all, so
is it also an yll matter to defraude a mans self of his due
estimation, and not to seke that praise, which alone is the
true reward of vertuous enterprises. And I remember I
have knowen of them in my time for all they wer of
prowesse, yet in this point they have shewed themselves but
grossheaded, and put their life in as great hasard to go take
a flock of shiepe, as in being the formost to scale the walles
of a batred towne, the which our Courtyer wil not doe if
Praise to be sought for. Grosheaded persons. The cause to venture life is estimacion. Open showes. Readie in his armour. A horse well trimmed.
he beare in minde the cause that bryngeth him to the warre,
which ought to be onely his estimation. And if he happen moreover to be
one to shewe feates of Chivalrie in open
sightes at tilt, turney, or Joco di canne or in any other
exercise of the person, remembryng the place where he is,
and in the presence of whom, he shall provide before hand to be
in his armour no lesse handsome and sightly then sure, and
feede the eyes of the lookers on wyth all thinges that he shall
thinke may geve him a good grace, and shall do his best to
gete him a horse sett out with fair harneis and sightly trappinges,
and to have proper devyses, apt poesies, and wittie
inventions that maye drawe unto him the eyes of the lookers
on, as the Adamant stone doth yron. He shall never be
among the last that come furth into the listes to shewe
themselves, considering the people, and especially women
take muche more hede to the fyrste then to the last: because
the eyes and mindes that at the begynning are greedy of
that noveltye, note everye lyttle matter and printe it, afterward
by continuance they are not onely full, but weery of
it. Therefore was there a noble Stageplaier in olde tyme
that for this respecte would alwaies be the first to come
furth to playe his parte. In like maner also if our Courtier
do but talke of armes, he shal have an eie to the profession
of them he talketh withall and according to that frame
himselfe, and use one maner of talke with men, and an other
An example of the circumstances.
Wittye inventions.
Not of the last to come furth.
with women: and in case he will touche any thing sounding
to his own praise, he shall do it so dissemblinglye as it wer
at a chaunce and by the way and with the discretion and
warinesse that count Lewis shewed us yesterday. Do you
not nowe thinke (M. Morello) that our rules can teache
somewhat? Trowe you not that friende of ours I tould
you of a fewe dayes agoe had cleane forgotten with whom
he spake, and why? Whan to entertein a gentilwoman
whom he never saw before, at his first entring in talke with
her, he began to tell how many men he had slain and what
a hardie felow he was, and how he could play at twohand-sworde
and had never done untill he hadde taught her howe
to defende certeine strokes with a Pollaxe being armed and
how unarmed, and to shewe howe (in a mannes defence) to
lay hande uppon a dagger, so that the poore gentilwoman
stood upon thornes, and thought an houre a thousande yeare
till she were got from him, for feare least he would go nigh
to kil her as he had done those other. Into these errours
runne they that have not an eye to the circumstances whiche
you saye ye have heard of Friers. Therefore I say of the
exercises of the body, some there are that (in maner) are
never practised but in open shewe, as runninge at Tilt,
Barriers, Joco do Canne, and all the reste that depende
uppon Armes. Therefore whan oure Courtyer taketh any
Q. Roscius comoedus.
of these in hande, firste hee muste provide to bee so well in
order for Horse, Harneys, and other fournitures beelongynge
thereto, that he wante nothinge. And if he see not hym
selfe throughelye fournyshed in all poyntes, lette him not
meddle at all. For if he dooe not well, it can not bee scused
that it is not his profession. After thys, he oughte to have
a great consideration in presence of whom he sheweth himselfe,
and who be his matches. For it were not meete that
a Gentilman shoulde be present in person and a doer in such
a matter in the countrey, where the lookers on and the doers
were of a base sort.
Well provided for open showes.
Then saide the L. Gaspar Pallavicin: In our countrey of Lumbardy these matters are not passed uppon, for you shall see there yonge Gentilmen upon the holy dayes come daunce all the day long in the Sunne with them of the countrey, and passe the time with them in casting the barre, in wrastling, running and leaping. And I beleve it is not ill done. For no comparason is there made of noblenesse of birth, but of force and slight, in which thinges many times the men of the countrey are not a whit inferiour to Gentilmen, and it seemeth this familiar conversation conteineth in it a certein lovely freenesse.
This daunsing in the son,
answered Syr Fridericke, can
I in no case away withall: and I can not see what a man
shall gain by it. But whoso wyll wrastle, runne and leape
with men of the countrey, ought (in my judgement) to do
it after a sorte: to prove himselfe and (as they are wonte to
saye) for courtesie, not to trye maistry with them: and a
man ought (in a maner) to be assured to get the upper
hand, elles let him not meddle with al, for it is to ill a sight
and to foule a matter and without estimation to see a
Gentilman overcome by a Carter and especially in wrastling.
Play at tenise.
Therfore I beleve it is wel done to abstaine from it, at the
leastwise in the presence of many, because if he overcome,
his gaine is small, and his losse in being overcome very
great. Also they play at tenise (in maner) alwaies in open
sight, and this is one of the commune games which the
multitude with their presence muche set furth. I will have
oure Courtier therfore to do this and all the rest beside
handlyng his weapon, as a matter that is not his profession:
and not seeme to seeke or loke for any praise for it, nor be
acknowen that he bestoweth much study or time about it,
although he do it excellently well. Neither shall he be like
unto some that have a delite in musicke, and in speaking with
whom soever alwaies whan he maketh a pause in their talke,
begine in a voice as though they would sing. Other walking
in the stretes or in the churches, go alwayes daunsing.
Other meetyng in the market place or whersoever anye
friende, make a gesture as though they would play at fence,
or wrastle, according as their delite is.
How to practise feates with men of the
countrey.
The fond toyes of some.
Here, said the L. Cesar Gonzaga, we have in Roomé a yong Cardinal that doeth better then so, whiche feeling him self lusty of person leadeth as manye as come to visit him (though he never sawe them before) into a gardein, and is very instant uppon them to strippe themselves into their dublet to leape with him.
Syr Fridericke laughed,
afterwarde he proceaded on:
There be some other exercises that may be done both openly
and privately, as dauncyng: and in this I beleve the Courtier
ought to have a respecte, for yf he daunseth in the presence
of many and in a place ful of people, he must (in my mind)
keepe a certain dignitie, tempred notwithstanding with a
handsome and sightly sweetnesse of gestures, and for all he
feeleth himself very nimble and to have time and measure
at will, yet let him not enter into that swiftnesse of feete
and doubled footinges, that we see are very comely in oure
Barletta, and peradventure were unseemely for a Gentilman,
Daunsinge privatlye. To be in maske. Maner of disguising. Some set out them selves unadvisedly. Pricke song.
although privately in a chamber together as we be nowe, I
will not saye but he maye do both that, and also daunce
the morsico and braulles, yet not openlye onlesse he were
in a maske. And though it were so that all menne knewe
him, it skilleth not, for there is no way to that, if a man
will shewe himselfe in open sightes about such matters,
whether it be in armes, or out of armes. Because to be in
a maske bringeth with it a certaine libertie and lycence,
that a man may emong other thinges take uppon him the
fourme of that he hath best skill in, and use bente studye
and preciseness about the principall drift of the matter
wherin he will shewe himselfe, and a certaine Reckelesness
aboute that is not of importaunce, whiche augmenteth the
grace of the thinge, as it were to disguise a yonge man in
an olde mannes attire, but so that his garmentes be not a
hindraunce to him to shew his nimblenes of person. And
a man at armes in fourm of a wield shepehearde, or some
other suche kinde of disguisinge, but with an excellent
horse and wel trimmed for the purpose. Because the minde
of the lookers on runneth furthwith to imagine the thing
that is offered unto the eyes at the first shew, and whan
they behold afterward a farre greater matter to come of it
then they looked for under that attire, it deliteth them and
Daunsing.
they take pleasure at it. Therefore it were not meete in
such pastimes and open shewes, where they take up counterfaiting of
false visages, a prince should take upon him to
be like a prince in dede, because in so doing, the pleasure
that the lookers on receyve at the noveltye of the matter
should want a great deale, for it is no noveltie at all to any
man for a prince to bee a prince. And whan it is perceyved
that beside his beinge a prince, he wil also beare the shape
of a prince, he loseth the libertie to do all those thinges
that are out of the dignity of a prince. And in case there
should any contencion happen especially with weapon in
these pastimes, he might easily make men beleave that he
keepeth the persone of a prince because he will not be beaten
but spared of the rest: beside that, doing in sport the very
same he should do in good earnest whan neede required, it
woulde take away his authoritye in deede and would appeere
in lyke case to be play also. But in this point the prince
stripping himself of the person of a prince, and minglinge
himselfe equallye with his underlinges (yet in suche wise
that he maye bee knowen) with refusynge superioritye, lette
him chalenge a greater superioritie, namelye, to passe other
men, not in authoritie, but in vertue, and declare that his
prowes is not encresed by his being a prince. Therefore
The prince in maske not to take the shap of
a prince.
I saye that the Courtier ought in these open sightes of
armes to have the self same respect according to his degree.
But in vauting, wrastling, running and leaping, I am well
pleased he flee the multitude of people, or at least be
sene very sildome times. For there is nothing so excellent
in the world, that the ignorant people have not their fil of,
and smallye regard in often beholding it. The like judgement
I have in musike: but I would not our Courtier
should do as many do, that assone as they come to any
place, and also in the presence of great men with whom
they have no acquaintance at al, without much entreating
sett out themselves to shew asmuch as they know, yea and
many times that thei know not, so that a man would weene
they cam purposely to shew themselves for that, and that it
is their principall profession. Therfore let our Courtier
come to shewe his musike as a thing to passe the time
withall, and as he wer enforced to doe it, and not in the
presence of noble menne, nor of any great multitude. And
for all he be skilfull and doeth wel understand it, yet wil I
have him to dissemble the study and peines that a man
must needes take in all thinges that are well done. And
let him make semblante that he estemeth but litle in
In some exercises flee the multitude.
People have sone their fill.
himself that qualitie, but in doing it excellently wel make it
muche estemed of other menne.
How to shew musike.
Then saide the L. Gaspar Pallavicin: There are manye sortes of musike aswell in the brest, as upon instrumentes, therfore would I gladly learne whiche is the best, and at what time the Courtyer ought to practise it.
Me thinke, answered Sir
Friderick, pricksong is a faire
musicke, so it bee done upon the booke surely and after a
good sorte. But to sing to the lute is muche better, because
al the sweetenesse consisteth in one alone, and a manne is
muche more heedefull and understandeth better the feate
maner and the aer or veyne of it, whan the eares are not
busyed in hearynge any moe then one voyce: and beesyde
everye lyttle erroure is soone perceyved, whiche happeneth
not in syngynge wyth companye, for one beareth oute an
other. But syngynge to the Lute wyth the dyttie (me
thynke) is more pleasaunte then the reste, for it addeth to
the wordes suche a grace and strength, that it is a great
wonder. Also all instrumentes with freates are ful of
harmony, because the tunes of them are very perfect, and
Singinge with dittie. Instrumentes with freates. A sette of violes. Shalmes. Olde men. How olde men should practise musike.
with ease a manne may do many thinges upon them that fil
the minde with the sweetnesse of musike. And the musike
of a sette of Violes doth no lesse delite a man, for it is verie
sweete and artificiall. A mannes breste geveth a great
ornament and grace to all these instrumentes, in the which
I wil have it sufficient that our Courtyer have an understanding. Yet
the more counninger he is uppon them, the
better it is for him, without medlynge muche with the
instrumentes that Minerva and Alcibiades refused, because
it seemeth they are noisome. Nowe as touchyng the time
and season whan these sortes of musike are to be practised:
I beleave at all times whan a man is in familiar and loving
company, having nothing elles a doe. But especiallye they
are meete to bee practised in the presence of women, because
those sightes sweeten the mindes of the hearers, and make
them the more apte to bee perced with the pleasantnesse
of musike, and also they quicken the spirites of the verye
doers. I am well pleased (as I have saide) they flee the
multitude, and especially of the unnoble. But the seasoning
of the whole must bee discreation, because in effect it
To synge to the lute.
A mannes brest.
Dulcimers.
Harpe.
wer a matter unpossible to imagine all cases that fall. And
if the Courtyer be a righteous judge of himselfe, he shall
apply himselfe well inough to the tyme, and shall discerne
whan the hearers mindes are disposed to geve eare and
whan they are not. He shall knowe his age, for (to saie the
trueth) it were no meete matter, but an yll sight to see a
man of eny estimation being olde, horeheaded and toothlesse, full of
wrinckles, with a lute in his armes playing upon
it and singing in the middes of a company of women,
although he coulde doe it reanablye well. And that,
because suche songes conteine in them woordes of love, and
in olde men love is a thing to bee jested at: although
otherwhile he seemeth emonge other miracles of his to take
delite in spite of yeres to set a fier frosen herts.
Time to practise musike. Discreation.
Then answered the L. Julian: Doe you not barr poore olde men from this pleasure (Syr Fridericke), for in my time I have known men of yeeres have very perfect brestes and most nimble fingers for instrumentes, much more then some yong men.
I go not about, quoth Syr Fridericke, to barr olde men from this pleasure, but I wil barr you these Ladies from laughing at that folie. And in case olde men will sing to the lute, let them doe it secretly, and onely to ridde their mindes of those troublesome cares and grevous disquietinges that oure life is full of: and to taste of that excellency which I beleve Pythagoras and Socrates favoured in musike. And set case they exercise it not at all: for that thei have gotten a certain habit and custome of it, they shal savour it muche better in hearing, then he that hath no knowledge in it. For like as the armes of a smith that is weake in other thinges, because they are more exercised, be stronger then an other bodyes, that is sturdy, but not exercysed to worke with his armes: even so the eares that be exercised in musike do muche better and sooner descerne it, and with much more pleasure judge of it, then other, how good and quicke soever they be that have not bene practised in the varietie of pleasant musike: because those musical tunes perce not, but withoute leaving anye taste of themselves passe by the eares not accustomed to heare them although the very wilde beastes feele some delite in melodye. This is therfore the pleasure meete for olde men to take in musike. The self same I say of daunsing, for in dede these excercises oughte to bee lefte of before age constraineth us to leave them whether we will or no.
It is better then, aunswered here M. Morello, halfe chafed, to excepte all olde men and to saie that only yong men are to be called Courtiers.
| Olde men that will seme yonge against nature.
The nature of olde men. The nature of yong men. |
All the Ladies laughed, because thei knew these wordes touched M. Morello, and he seemed somwhat out of pacience at the matter.
Yet are there other enterteinments with women, saide immediatly Syr Fridericke, meete for olde men.
And what be these, quoth M. Morello, to tell fables?
And that to, answered Syr
Fridericke. But every age
(as you know) carieth with him his thoughtes, and hath some
peculiar vertue and some peculier vice. And old men for
al they are ordinarily wiser then yong men, more continent,
and of a better foresight, yet are they withall more lavish in
wordes, more greedie, harder to please, more fearfull, alwayes
chafyng in the house, sharpe to their children, and will have
every man wedded to their will. And contrarywise, yonge
men are hardy, easie to be entreated, but more apt to
brawling and chiding, waveringe and unstedfast, that love
and unlove all at a time: geven to all their delites, and
ennemies to them that tell them of their profit. But of all
the other ages, mans state is moste temperate, whiche hath
The behaviour of olde men. Sagenesse. Noble corrage in brute beastes. Behaviour in dailye conversation. So many men so many mindes.
nowe done with the curst prankes of youth, and not yet
growen to aunciety. These then that be placed (as it
were) in the extremities, it is behouffull for them to knowe
howe to correct the vices with reason, that nature hath
bredde in them. Therefore oughte olde men to take heede
of muche praising themselves, and of the other vices, that
we have said are proper to them, and suffre the wisdome
and knowledge to beare stroke in them that they have
gotten by long experience, and be (as it were) Oracles, to
the whiche everye man should haunt for cousaile, and have
a grace in utteringe that they knowe, applying it aptlye
to the purpose, accompanying with the grace of yeeres a
certaines temperate and meery pleasauntnesse. In this wyse
shall they be good Courtiers, and be well entertayned wyth menne and
women, and everye man will at all tymes be glad
of their companye, without syngynge or daunsynge: and
whan neede requireth they shall showe their prowesse in
matters of weighte. The verye same respecte and
judgemente shall yonge men have, not in keepyng the facion
of olde menne (for what is meete for the one, were not in all
poynctes so fitte for the other, and it is a commune sayinge,
To muche gravytee in yonge menne is an yll signe, but in
correctynge the natural vices in them. Therfore delite I
Mans state moste temperate.
in a yonge manne, and especiallye a man at armes, if he
have a certayne sagenesse in him and few woordes, and
somewhat demure, wythoute those busye gestures and
unquyete manners whyche we see so manye tymes in that age:
for they seeme to have a certayne gyfte above other yonge
menne. Beesyde that, thys mylde beehavyour conteyneth
in it a kynde of syghtelye fiersenesse, because it appeereth
to bee sturred, not of wrathe but of judgement, and rather
governed by reason then appetyte: and thys (in manner)
alwayes is knowen in al menne of stomacke, and we see
it lykewyse in brute beastes, that have a certayne noble
courage and stoutnesse above the reste: as the Lion and
the Egle, neither is it voide of reason, forsomuche as that
violente and sodeyne mocyon withoute woordes or other
token of coler whyche wyth all force bursteth oute together
at once (as it were the shott of a gunn) from quietnesse,
whyche is contrary to it, is muche more violente and
furious, then that whiche encreaseth by degrees and wexeth
hott by little and little. Therefore suche as goynge aboute
some enterpryse, are so full of woordes, that they leape and
skip and can not stande styll, it appeereth they be ravyshed
in those matters, and (as oure M. Peter Mount sayeth well)
they doe like children, that goinge in the nighte singe for
feare, as though that synginge of theirs shoulde make them
plucke up their spirites to be the boulder. Even as therfore
in a yonge man a quiet and ripe youthe is to be commended, because it
appeareth that lightnesse (whiche is the
peculiar vice of that age) is tempred and corrected: even
so in an olde man a grene and lively olde age is much to be
esteamed, because it appeareth that the force of the minde
The behaviour of yonge menne.
is so much, that it heateth and geveth a certein strength to
that feeble and colde age, and mainteineth it in that middle
state, which is the better part of our life. But in conclusion al these
good qualities shal not suffise oure Courtyer
to purchase him the general favour of great men, Gentlemen
and Ladies, yf he have not also a gentle and lovynge
behaviour in his daily conversation. And of this I beleve
verely it is a hrd matter to geve anye maner rule, for the
infinit and sundry matters that happen in practising one
with an other: forsomuch as emong al the men in the
world, there are not two to be found that in every point
agree in mind together. Therfore he that must be pliable
to be conversant with so many, oughte to guide himselfe
with hys own judgement. And knowing the difference of
one man and an other, every day alter facion and maner
accordyng to the disposition of them he is conversant
withall. And for my part I am not able in this behalf
to geve him other rules then the aforesaid, whiche oure
M. Morello learned of a child in confessing him self.
Lightnesse.
Here the L. Emilia laughed and said: You would rid your handes of peines taking (Syr Fridericke) but you shall not escape so, for it is youre parte to minister talke untill it be bed time.
And what if I have nothing to saye (madam)? Howe then? aunswered Sir Fridericke.
The L. Emilia said: We shall nowe trie your wit. And if al be true I have heard, there have bene men so wittie and eloquent, that thei have not wanted matter to make a booke in the praise of a flie, other in the praise of a quartaine fever, an other in the praise of bauldnes, doth not your hert serve you to finde oute omwhat to saie for one nyghte of Courting?
We have already, answered Syr
Fridericke, spoken asmuch as wil go nigh to make two bokes. But since
no
excuse shal serve me, I wil speak until you shal think I have fulfilled
though not my duety, yet my poure. I suppose
the conversation which the Courtier ought chiefly to be
pliable unto with al diligence to get him favour, is the very
same that he shal have with his prince. And although this
name of conversation bringeth with it a certain equalitie
that a man would not judge can reigne betweene the maister
and the servaunt, yet will we so terme it for this once. I
will have our Courtyer therfore (beside that he hath and
doeth daily geve men to understande that he is of the
To please his prince. Flatterers.
prowesse which we have said ought to be in him) to turne
al his thoughtes and force of minde to love, and (as it were)
to reverence the Prince he serveth above al other thinges,
and in his wil, maners and facions, to be altogether pliable
to please him.
Conversation with his prince.
Here without anye lenger staye, Peter of Naples saide: Of these, Courtyers noweadayes ye shall finde ynow, for (me thinke) in fewe wordes ye have peincted us out a joly flatterer.
You are farre deceived,
answered Sir Fridericke, for
flatteres love not their Lordes nor their frindes, the whiche
I saie unto you I will have principally in our Courtyer: and
to please him and to obey hys commaundementes whom he
serveth, may be done without flattery, for I meane the
commaundementes that are reasonble and honest, or suche as
of themselves are neyther good nor bad, as is gaming and
pastime, and geving himself more to some one exercise then
to an other. And to this will I have the Courtyer to frame
himselfe, though by nature he were not enclined to it: so
that whansoever his lorde looketh upon him, he may thinke
in his minde that he hath to talke with him of a matter
that he will be glad to heare. The which shal come to
passe if there bee a good judgement in him to understand
what pleaseth his prince and a wit and wisedom to know
how to applie it, and a bent wil to make him pleased with
the thing which perhappes by nature should displease him.
And havinge these principles, he shal never be sad before
his prince nor melancholy, nor so solein as many, that a
man would weene wer at debate with their Lordes, whiche
is truly an hateful matter. He shall not be yll tunged,
and especiallye againste his superiours, whiche happeneth
often times: for it appeereth that there is a storme in
courtes that carieth this condicion with it, that alwaies
Not yl tunged. The most made of worst reporters. Not saucye. No babbler. The imaginacyon of princes. He shall not presse into secret places. Greate men should make of their chamber men
of no greate estimation. The griefe of some for anger. The wye of some in a meane authoritye. Behaviour in receivynge promotion. Promotions not begged.
looke who receyveth most benifittes at his Lordes handes,
and promoted from very base degree to high astate, he is
evermore complaynynge and reporteth woorst of hym: which
is an uncomly thing, not onely for suche as these be, but
even for such as be yll handled in deede. Oure Courtier
shall use no fonde sausinesse. He shall be no carier about
of trifling newes. He shall not be overseene in speakinge
otherwhile woordes that may offende, where his entent was
to please. He shall not be stubborne and full of contencion,
as some busy bodyes that a man would weene had none other
delite but to vexe and stirr men like flyes, and take uppon
them to contrarie every man spitefullye without respect.
He shall be no babbler, not geven to lyghtenesse, no lyar,
no boaster, nor fonde flatterer, but sober, and keapinge hym
alwayes within his boundes, use continually, and especially
abrode, the reverence and respecte that beecommeth the
servaunte towarde the mayster. And shall not do, as many
that meetinge a Prince how great soever he be, yf they have
once spoken with him beefore, come towarde him with a
certaine smilynge and frindly countenaunce, as though they
would make of one their equall, or showe favour to an
inferiour of theirs. Very sildome or (in maner) never shall
he crave any thinge of his Lorde for himselfe, least the
lorde having respect to denie it him for him selfe, should
happen to graunte it him with dyspleasure, which is farr
worse. Againe in suinge for others, he shall discreatly
observe the times, and in his suite shall be for honest and
reasonable matters, and he shall so frame hys suite, in leavinge
oute those poinctes that he shall knowe wil trouble him,
and in making easie after a comely sort the lettes, that his
Lord wil evermore graunt it him: and though he denie it,
he shall not think to have offended him whom he ment not
to doe, for, because greate menne often times after thei
have denied request to one that hath suid to them with
great instance, thinke the person that laboured to them so
earnestly for it, was very greedy of it, and therefore in not
obtaining it, hath cause to beare him yll will that denied
him it, and upon this suspicion thei conceive an hatred
His behaviour in his princes presence.
No pratler of newes.
Not stubborne.
No lyar.
No boaster.
No flatterer.
The behaviour of some fonde persons toward great men.
against that person, and can never afterwarde brooke him
nor aforde him good countenance. He shall not covet to
presse into the chamber or other secrete places where his
Lord is withdrawen, onlesse he be bed, for all he be of great
authoritie with him: because great men often times whan
thei are privatly gotten alone, love a certain libertie to
speake and do what thei please, and therefore will not be
seene or herd of any person that may lightly deeme of
them, and reason willeth no lesse. Therefore suche as speake
against great menne for making of their chamber persons
of no great qualitie in other thinges but in knowing how to
attende about their person (me thinke) commit an errour:
because I can not see why they should not have the libertie
to refresh their mindes, whiche we oure selves would have to
refreshe ours. But in case the Courtyer that is inured with
weightie affaires, happen to bee afterwarde secretely in
chamber with him, he oughte to chaunge his coate and to
differr grave matters till an other time and place, and frame
himselfe to pleasante communicacion, and suche as his lorde
will bee willing to geve eare unto, least he hinder that good moode of
his. But herein and in al other thinges, let him have an especial
regard, that he be not cumbrous to him.
And let him rather looke to have favour and promotion
offred him, then crave it so openly in the face of the
worlde,
as manye dooe, that are so greedy of it, that a man would
weene the not obtaynynge it, greeveth them as muche as
the losse of lyfe: and yf they chaunce to enter into anye
displeasure, or elles see other in favoure, they are in suche
anguishe of mynde, that thei can by no meanes dissemble the
malice, and so make al men laugh them to scorne: and
many times thei are the cause that great men favour some
one, only to spite them withal. And afterward if thei
happen to enter in favour that passeth a meane, they are so
dronken in it, that thei know not what to do for joy: and
a man would wene that thei wist not what wer become of
their feete and handes, and (in a maner) are ready to cal
company to behoulde them and to rejoice with them, as a
matter they have not bene accustomed withal. Of this sort
Why he shall not sue for him selfe.
His sute for others.
I wil not have our Courtyer to be. I would have him
esteame favour and promotion, but for al that, not to love
it so much, that a man should thinke he could not live
without it. And whan he hath it, let him not shew himself
new or straunge in it: nor wonder at it whan it is offred
him: nor refuse it in such sort as some, that for very ignorance
receive it not, and so make men beleve that thei
acknowledge themselve unworthy of it. Yet ought a man
alwaies to humble himself somewhat under his degree, and
not receive favour and promocions so easilye as thei be
offred him, but refuse them modestlye, shewing he much
estemeth them and after such a sort, that he may geve him
an occasion that offreth them, to offer them with a great
deale more instance: because the more resistance a man
maketh in such maner to receive them, the more doeth he
seeme to the prince that geveth them to be estemed, and
that the benefite whiche he bestoweth is so muche the more,
as he that receiveth it seemeth to make of it, thinking
himself much honoured therby. And these are the true
and perfect promotions that make men esteamed of such as
se them abrode: because whan they are not craved, everye
man conjectureth they arrise of true vertue, and so muche
the more as they are accompanied with modestie.
Not to sue for promotions.
Then said the L. Cesar Gonzaga: Me thinke ye have this clause oute of the Gosspell where it is written: Whan thou art bed to a mariage, go and sit thee downe in the lowest rowme, that whan he commeth that bed thee, he may saie, Friende come higher, and so shal it be an honour for thee in the sight of the gestes.
Syr Fridericke laughed and
said: It were to great a
sacrilege to steale out of the Gospell. But you are better
learned in scripture than I was aware of: then he proceaded.
See into what daunger they fal sometime, that
To deserve favour.
rashly before a great manne entre into talke unrequired:
and manye times that Lorde to skorne them withall, maketh
no aunswere and tourneth his head to the other hand: and
in case he doeth make aunswewe, every man perceyveth it is
done full skornfullye. Therfore to purchase favour at great
mens handes, there is no better waye then to deserve it.
Neyther must a manne hope when he seeth an other in
favour with a Prince, for whatsoever matter, in folowinge
his steppes to come to the same, because every thing is not
fitt for every man. And ye shal finde otherwhile some one
that by nature is so readie in his meeye jestes, that what
ever he speaketh bringeth laughter with it, and a man
would weene that he were borne onlye for that: and if
another that hath a grave facion in him, of howe good a
witt so ever he be, attempt the like, it will be very colde
and without any grace, so that he will make a man abhorre
to heare him, and in effect will be like the asse, that to
counterfeyt the dogg would play with his maister. Therefore it is meete
eche man knowe himselfe and his own
disposicion, and applye himself thereto, and consider what
thynges are mete for him to folow, and what are not.
The rashnes of some.
Not to counterfait other mens doings.
Some ready in their jestes.
Before ye go anye farther, saide here M. Vincent Calmeta, if I have well marked, me thaught ye said right now, that the best way to purchase favour, is to deserve it: and the Courtier oughte rather to tarie till promotions bee offered him, then presumpciously to crave them. I feare me least this rule bee litle to purpose, and me thinke experience doeth us very manifestly to understande the contrarye: because noweadayes very fewe are in favoure with Princes but such as be malapert. And I wote well you can be a good witnesse of some, that perceivyng themselves in smal credite with their Princis, are come up only with presumption. As for such as come to promtion with modestie, I for my parte know none, and if I geve you respite to bethink your self, I beleve ye wil find out but fewe. And if you marke the French Court, which at this day is one of the nobleste in al Christendome, ye shal find that al such as are generally in favour there, have in them a certein malapertnesse, and that not onely one with an other, but with the king himselfe.
Do you not so say, answered Syr
Fridericke, for in
Fraunce there are very modest and courtious gentlemen.
Truth it is, that they use a certein libertie and familaritie
Spaniardes. Many Spaniardes be sawcye.
without ceremonies, which is proper and natural unto them,
and therefore it ought not to be termed malapertnesse.
For in that maner of theirs, although they laugh and jeste
at suche as be malapert, yet do they sett muche by them
that seeme to them to have any prowesse or modesty in
them.
The Frenche gentlemen without ceremonies.
Calmeta answered: Marke the Spaniardes that seme the very maisters of Courtly facions, and consider how many ye find that with women and great men are not moste malapert, and so muche woorse then the Frenchemen, in that at the fyrste showe they declare a certein modesty. And no doubt but they be wise in so doing, because (as I have said) the great men of our time do al favour suche as are of these condicions.
Then answered Syr Friderick: I
can not abide (M. Vincent)
that ye should defame in this wise the great men of
our time, because there be many notwithstanding that
love modesty: the which I do not say of it self is sufficient
to make a man estemed, but I saie unto you, whan it is
accompanied with great prowesse it maketh him muche
esteamed that hath it. And though of it self it lye styll,
the woorthye deedes speake at large, and are much more
to be wondred at, then if they were accompanied with
presumption or rashnes. I will not nowe denie but many
Spaniardes there be full of malapertnesse: but I saie unto
you, they that are best esteamed, for the moste part are
very modest. Agayne some other there be also so cold,
that they flee the companye of menne to out of measure, and
passe a certein degree of meane: so that they make men
deeme them either to fearfull or to high minded. And this
doe I in no case allowe, neyther would I have modestie so
drye and withered, that it shoulde become rudenesse. But let the
Courtier, whan it commeth to pourpose, be well
spoken, and in discourses uppon states, wise and expert:
and have such a judgement that he maye frame himselfe to
the manners of the countrey where ever he commeth. Then in lower
matters, let him bee pleasauntly disposed, and
reason well uppon everye matter, but in especiall tende
alwayes to goodnesse. no envious person, no caryar of an
yll tunge in his head: nor at anye tyme geven to seeke
prefarmente or promotion anye naughtie waye, not by the
meane of anye subtyll practise.
What modestie ought to be.
Then saide Calmeta: I wyll assure you all the other waies are much more doubtfull and harder to compasse, then is that you discommende: because now a dayes (to rehearse it againe) great menne love none but such as be of that condicion.
Do you not so say, answered
then Syr Fridericke, for
that were to plaine an argumente that the greate menne of
our time were all vitious and naughte, whiche is untrue, for
some there be that bee good. But if it fell to oure Courtyers
lott to serve one that wer vitious and wycked, assoone as he
knoweth it, let him forsake hym, least he taste of the bytter
peine that all good menne feele that serve the wicked.
What he must do in service with the wicked.
We must praie unto God, answered Calmeta, to helpe us to good, for whan wee are once with them, wee muste take them with all theyr faultes, for infinite respectes constraine a Gentleman after he is once entred into service with a Lorde, not to forsake him. But the yll lucke is in the begynnyng: and Courtyers in this case are not unlyke unluckye foules bread up in an yl vale.
Me thinke, quoth Syr Fridericke, duetye oughte to vayle beefore all other respectes, but yet so a gentleman forsake not his Lorde at the warre or in anye other adversitie, and bee thought to doe it to follwe Fortune, or because he wanted a meane to profitte by, at al other times I beleve he maye with good reason, and oughte to forsake that service, that among good men shall put hym to shame, for all men will imagine that he that serveth the good, is is good, and he that serveth the yll, is yll.
I woulde have you to clere me of one doubt that I have in my head, quoth the the L. Lodovicus Pius, namely, whether a gentleman be bound or no, while he is in his Princis service, to obey him in all thinges which he shal commaund, though they were dishonest and shamefull matters.
In dishoneste matters we are not bounde to obey any body, aunswered Syr Fridericke.
And what (replyed the L. Lodovicus Pius) if I be in service with a Prince who handleth me well, and hopeth that I will do any thing for him that may be done, and he happen to commaunde me to kyll a man, or any other like matter, ought I to refuse to do it?
| Whan a man may forsake his maister.
Howe and in what princis are to be obeied. Thinges otherwhile seeme good that be yll. |
Then aunswered the L. Gaspar Pallavicin: I beseche you let us heare you speake somwhat in this case, and teach us how we maie descerne thinges good in dede, from suche as appeeare good.
I pray you pardon me, quoth Syr Fridericke, I will not at this time enter into that: for there were to muche to be saide in it: but all is to be referred to your discretion.
Clere ye me at the least of another doubt, replied the L. Gaspar.
And what doubt is that? quoth Syr Fridericke.
This aunswered the L. Gaspar: I would know where I am charged by my maister in expresse wordes in an interprise or businesse what ever it be, what I have to do therein: if I, at the deede doynge thinkynge wyth my selfe in doynge it more or lesse, or otherwise then my commission, to bringe it more prosperouslye to passe and more for his profit that gave me that commission, whether ought I to govern my selfe accordinge to the first charge withoute passinge the boundes of the commission, or elles do the thinge that I judge to be best?
| Whether a man maie folow a part of his owne
mind in a commission.
T. Manlius Torq. caused his sonne to be slaine for fighting contrary to commaundement. Commaundementes of the superioure poures are to be obeyed. |
| What he that receiveth a charge ought to do.
The nature of the L. to be considered. The crueltye of Mutianus. |
| Conversacion with a mannes equalles.
Some felowship them selves alwayes with the best apparailed. Men that will seeme to be in favour. Of raiment and apparail. |
Then the L. Julian: Since ye have (quoth he) made mention of these that are so ready to felowshippe themselves with the wel apparailed, I would have you to shew us in what sorte the Courtier shoulde apparayle hymself, what kind of garment doeth beste become hym, and howe he shoulde fitte himselfe in all his garmentes aboute his bodye: beecause we see infinite varietie in it, and some are arayed after the Frenche facion, some after the Spanyshe attier, an other wyll seeme a Dutcheman. Neyther wante wee of them also that wil cloth themselves lyke Turkes: some weare beardes, other dooe not. Therefore it were a good deede in this varietie, to shewe howe a manne shoulde chouse oute the beste.
Syr Fridericke saide: In verye
deede I am not able to
geve anye certeyne rule about rayment, but that a man
should frame himselfe to the custome of the moste. And
since (as you saye) this custome is so variable, and Italians
are so desirous to take up other mennes facions, I beleave
every manne maye lawfullye apparaile himselfe at his
pleasure. But I knowe not by what destinye it commeth that
Italy hathe not, as it was wonte to have, a facion of attier
knowen to bee the Italian facion, for although the bringing
up of these new facions maketh the first to appeere very
grosse, yet were they peraventure a token of libertie, where
these have bene a pronosticate of bondage, the which (me thinke) now is
plainly ynough fulfilled. And as it is written,
when Darius the yere before he fought with Alexander had
altered his swerd he wore by his side, which was a Persian
blade, into the facion of Macedony, it was interpreted by
the Sothsayers, how this signified, that they into whose
facion Darius had altered the fourme of his Persian blade
should become rulers of Persia: even so where we have
Italy a prey to all nations. Frenchemen use long wastes. Blacke colour. Solemnitie of Spaniardes.
altered our Italian facions into straunge, me thinke, it signified,
that all they into whose facions oures wer chaunged,
should come in to overrunne us: the whiche hathe been to
true, for there is not nowe a nation lefte that hath not
made us their prey, so that there remaineth little behinde
to prey upon, and yet for all that cease they not to prey
still. But I wyll not enter into communication of sorowe:
therefor it shalbe wel to speake of the raiment of our
Courtyer, the whiche so it be not out of use, nor contrary
to his profession, in the rest (I thinke) it will do welynough,
so the wearer be satisfied withall. Truth it is, that I
woulde love it the better yf it were not extreme in anye
part, as the Frenchman is wont to bee sometyme over
longe, and the Dutchmanne overshorte, but as they are
bothe the one and the other amended and broughte into
better frame by the Italians. Moreover I will houlde
alwayes with it, yf it bee rather somewhat grave and
auncient, then garishe. Therefore me thinke a blacke
colour hath a better grace in garmentes then any
other, and though not throughly blacke, yet somwhat
darke, and this I meane for his ordinary apparaile. For
there is no doubt, but upon armour it is more meete to
have sightly and meery coulours, and also garmentes for
pleasure, cut, pompous and riche. Likewise in open showes
about triumphes, games, maskeries, and suche other matters,
because so appointed there is in them a certein livelinesse
and mirth, which in deede doeth well sette furth feates of
armes and pastimes. But in the rest I coulde wishe they
should declare the solemnitie that the Spanyshe nation
muche observeth, for outwarde matters manye times are a
token of the inwarde.
Caldæi.
Dutchmen short.
Grave apparaile.
Colours upon armour.
Then saide the L. Cesar Gonzage: I woulde not sticke muche at this, for so a gentleman be of woorthinesse in other matters, his garmentes neyther encrease nor minishe reputation.
Syr Friderick answered: Ye saie true. Yet whiche of us is there, that seeing a gentleman go with a garment upon his backe quartred with sundry coulours, or with so many points tyed together, and al about with lases and fringes set overthwart, will not count him a very disard or a commune jestar?
Neither disard, quoth M. Peter Bembo, nor jestar woulde a man count him, that had lived any while in Lumbardy, for there they all go so.
Why then, answered the Dutchesse smylyng, if they go all so, it ought not to bee objected to them for a vice, this kinde of attier being as comely and proper to them, as it is to the Venetians to weare their longe wyde sleeves, and to the Florentines, their hoodes.
I speake no more of Lumbardy,
quoth Syr Fridericke,
then of other places, for in every nation ye shall finde bothe
foolishe and wyse. But to speake that I thinke is most
requisite as touching apparaile, I will have the Courtier in
all his garmentes handsome and clenlye, and take a certain
delite in modest Precisenesse, but not for all that after a
womanish or lyghte maner, neither more in one point, then
in an other, as we see many so curious about their hear, that
they forget all the rest. Other delite to have their teeth
faire. Other in their beard. Other in buskines. Other
in cappes. Other in coyffes. And so it commeth to passe,
that those fewe thinges whiche they have clenly in them,
appeere borowed ware, and all the rest, whiche is most
fonde, is knowne to be their owne. But this trade wil I
have our Courtier to flee by my counsel, with an addition
also, that he ought to determine with himselfe what he will
appeere to be, and in suche sorte as he desireth to bee
esteamed so to apparaile himselfe, and make his garmentes
helpe him to be counted suche a one, even of them that
heare hym not speake, nor see him doe anye maner thyng.
Delites of men.
I thinke it not meete, quoth then the L. Pallavicin, neyther is it used emong honest menne to judge mennes conditions by their garmentes, and not by their woordes and deedes, for many a manne might be deceived: and this proverb arriseth not without cause: The habit maketh not the Monke.
I say not, answered Syr
Friderick, that menne shoulde
geve a resolute judgement by this alone, of mennes
conditions, and that they are not knowen by wordes and deedes,
more then by the garmentes. But I saie that the garment
Operations. Gozzuti, men in the mountaines with great
bottles of flesh under their chin, through the drinking of snow water.
is withall no small argument of the fansie of him that
weareth it, although otherwhile it appeere not true. And
not this alone, but all the behaviours, gestures, and maners,
beeside wordes and deedes, are a judgement of the inclination of him in
whome they are seene.
The garment judgeth the mynde.
And what thynges be those, aunswered the L. Gaspar, that you fynde we maye geve judgement upon, that are neyther woordes nor deedes.
Then said Syr Friderick: You
are to subtill a Logicien,
but to tell you as I meane, some Operations there are that
remayne after they are done, as buylding, writynge, and
suche other: some remayn not, as these that I meane now.
Therefore doe I not counte in this pourpose, goynge,
laughyng, lookyng, and suche matters to bee Operations,
and notwithstandyng outwardly doe geve many times a
knowledge of that is within. Tell me, dyd you not geve
your judgemente upon that friende of oures we communed
of this morning paste, to bee a foolishe and light person,
assoone as you sawe he wried his head and bowed his bodye,
and invited with a cheerful countenaunce the companye to
put of their cappes to him? So in like maner whan you
see one gase earnestely with his eyes abashed, lyke one that
had lytle witt: or that laugheth so fondly as do those dombe
menne, with the great wennes in theyr throte, that dwell in
the Mountaines of Bergamo, thoughe he neyther speake ne
doe anye thinge elles, will you not counte him a verye
foole? Ye may see then that these beehaviours, maners
and gestures, whiche I mynde not for this time to terme
Operations, are a great matter to make menne knowne.
But me thynke there is an other thyng that geveth and
dimynisheth muche reputation: namely, the choyse of
friendes, with whom a manne must have inwarde conversation.
For, undoubtedly reason wylleth that suche as are
coopled in streicte amitie and unseparable companye,
should be also alike in wyll, in mynde, in judgemente, and
inclination. So that who so is conversaunt wyth the
ignoraunt or wycked, he is also counted ignoraunt and
wucked. And contrariwise he that is conversaunt with the
good, wyse, and dyscreete, he is reckened suche a one. For
it seemeth by nature, that everye thing doeth willingly
felowshippe with his lyke. Therefore I beleave that a man
oughte to have a respect in the first beeginning of these
frendshippes, for of two neere friendes, who ever knoweth
the one, by and by he ymagineth the other to bee of the
same condition.
Choise of friendes.
Then aunswered M. Peter Bembo: To bee bounde in frenshyppe with suche agreemente of mynde as you speake of, me thynke in deede a manne ought to have great respect, not onely forgetting or leesing reputation, but because nowe adaies ye finde very fewe true friendes. Neyther doe I beleave that there any more in the world, those Pylades and Orestes, Theseus and Perithous, nor Scipio and La&elig;lius, but rather it happeneth dailye, I wote not by what destinye, that two friendes whiche many yeeres have lyved together with most hartie love, yet at the ende beguile one an other, in one maner or other, either for malice, or envye, or for lightnesse, or some other yll cause: and eche one imputeth the faulte to his felow, of that whiche perhappes both the one and the other deserveth. Therfore because it hath happened to me more then once to bee deceived of hym whom I loved beste, and of whom I hoped I was beloved above anye other person, I have thought with my selfe alone other while to bee well done, never to put a mannes trust in any person in the worlde, nor to geve himselfe so for a prey to friend how deere and loving so ever he wer, that without stoppe a manne shoulde make him partaker of all his thoughtes, as he woulde his owne selfe: because there are in our mindes so many dennes and corners, that it is unpossible for the witt of manne to knowe the disymulations that lye lurking in them. I beleave therefore that it is well done to love and awaie with one more then another, according to the desertes and honesty: but not for all that so to assure a mannes selfe, with this sweete bait of frendship, that afterwarde it shoulde be to late for us to repente.
Then Syr Fridericke: Truely
(quoth he) the losse
shoulde bee much more then the gain, if that high degree
of frindshippe shoulde bee taken from the felowshippe of
Frendshippe of two together.
manne, whiche (in mine opinion) ministreth unto us all
the goodnes conteined in our life: and therefore wyll I in
no case consente to you, that it is reasonable, but rather I
can finde in my heart to conclude, and that with moste
evident reasons, that without this perfect friendship, men
were much more unluckie, then all other livyng creatures.
And albeit some wicked and prophane taste of this holye
name of friendship, yet is it not for all that to be so rooted
oute of mennes mindes, and for the trespasse of the yll, to
deprive the good of so great a felicitie. And I beleave
verely for my parte, there is here emong us moe then one
couple of friends, whose love is indissoluble and without any
guile at all, and to endure untill death, with agreement
of will, no lesse then those menne of olde time, whom you
mentioned right nowe. And so is it alwaies, whan beside
the inclination that commeth from above, a man chouseth
him a friende lyke unto himselfe in conditions. And I
meane the whole to consist emong the good and vertuous
menne, because the friendship of the wicked, is no friendshippe.
I allowe well that this knott, which is so streicte,
knitt or binde no mo then two, elles were it in a hasarde:
for (as you knowe) three instrumentes of musike are hardlier
brought to agree together then two. I woulde have our
Courtier therefore to finde him oute an especiall and hartie
friende, if it were possible, of that sort we have spoken of.
Then according to their desertes and honesty, love, honour,
and observe all other menne, and alwaies do hys beste to
felowshippe himselfe with menne of estimation that are
noble and knowen to bee good, more then with the unnoble
and of small reputation, so he be also beloved and honoured
of them. And this shall come to passe if he be gentle,
lowely, freeharted, easie to be spoken to, and sweete in
company, humble and diligent to serve, and to have an eye to
Frendshippe necessarye for the lyfe of man.
his friendes profitt and estimation, as wel absente as present,
bearing with their naturall defaultes that are to be borne
withall, without breaking with them upon a small grounde,
and correcting in himselfe such as lovingly shall bee toulde
him, never prefarring himselfe before other menne in
seeking the highest and chiefe rowmes of estimation, neither in
doing as some that a manne would weene despised the
worlde, and with a noysome sharpnes will tell every manne
his duetie, and beside that they are full of contention in
avery trifling matter, and out of tyme, they comptroule
whatsoever they doe not themselves, and alwaies seeke cause
to complaine of their friendes, which is a most hatefull
thing.
A mans duetie towarde his friend.
Here whan Sir Friderick had made a stay, the L. Gaspar Pallavicin saide, I would have you to expresse somewhat more particularlye this conversation with friendes, then you doe, for in deede ye keepe your self to muche in the generall, and touch unto us thinges (as it were) by the waie.
How by the waye? aunswered Sir Fridericke. Woulde you have me to tell you also the verye woordes that a manne muste use? Suppose you not then we have sufficientlye communed of this?
I thynke yea, aunswered the L. Gaspar. Yet doe I desier to understand also some particular point of the maner of enterteinment emong menne and women, whiche (me thynke) is a verye necessary matter, consideryng the moste parte of a mans tyme is spent therein in Courtes, and if it were alwayes after one maner wyse, a manne would soone wexe weerye of it.
Me thynke, aunswered Syr Fridericke, we have geven the Courtier a knowledge in so many thynges, that he maye well varye his conversation and frame hymselfe accordynge to the inclination of them he accompanyeth hymself withall, presupposyng him to be a a good judgemente, and therewithall to guyde hymself. And according to the time otherwhile, have an eye to grave matters, and sometyme to pastimes and games.
And what games? quoth the L. Gaspar.
Syr Friderick aunswered: Lette us aske counsel of Frier Seraphin that daily inventeth newe.
| Dice and Cardes.
The play at Chestes. |
I thynke it none, quoth Syr Fridericke, onlesse a man apply it tomuch, and by reason of that, setteth aside other thynges more necessary, or elles for none other entent but to get money, and to beguile his felow, and in his losse, fume and take on so, that it might be thought a token of covetounesse.
The L. Gaspar answered: And what say you to the game at chestes?
It is truely an honest kynde of enterteynmente and wittie, quoth Syr Friderick. But me think it hath a fault, whiche is, that a man may be to couning at it, for who ever will be excellent in the playe of chestes, I beleave he must beestowe much tyme about it, and applie it with so much study, that a man may assoone learne some noble scyence, or compase any other matter of importaunce, and yet in the ende in beestowing all that laboure, he knoweth no more but a game. Therfore in this I beleave there happeneth a very rare thing, namely, that the meane is more commendable, then the excellency.
The L. Gaspar answered: There be many Spaniardes excellent at it, and in many other games, whiche for all that bestowe not muche studye upon it, nor yet lay aside the compassing of other matters.
| The meane knowledge is best in the play at
Chestes.
Spaniardes dissemble their study in the play at Chestes. |
| Some woorthy in deede, smally regarded of great men. |
| Ignoraunt men otherwhile in favour.. |
I can not see what this can
helpe, aunswered M. Bernard
Bibiena, for it hath sundry times happened unto me, and I
beleve to many moe, after I had grounded in my mynde by
reporte of manye menne of judgemente a matter to bee
of great perfection beefore I had seene it, whan I had
once seen it, it feinted muche, and I was muche deceived
in mine imagination, and this proceaded of nothyng elles,
Report deceiveth. The report of thinges that the eye is judge
of, may deceyve.
but of geving to muche credit to fame and reporte, and
of conceivinge in my minde so greate an opinion, that
measuring it afterwarde with the trueth, the effecte, thoughe
it were greate and excellente, yet in comparison of that I
had imagined of it, seemed very sclender unto me. Even
so (I feare me) maye also come to passe of the Courtyer.
Therefore I can not see howe it were well done to geve
these expectations, to sende that fame of a man
beefore: because oure mindes manye times facion and shape
thinges, whiche is unpossible afterwarde to aunswere to and
fulfill, and so doeth a man lose more then he gayneth by it.
Good opinion.
Here Sir Friderick saide:
Thinges that unto you and
many moe are lesse in effect than the fame is of them, are
for the most part of that sort, that the eye at the first sight
maie geve a judgemente of them. As if you have never
been at Naples or at Roome, whan you here men commune
of it, you imagine muche more of it, then perhappes you
find afterwarde in sight. But in the conditions of menne it
is not alike, because that you see outwardly is the least part.
Therefore in case the first daie you heare a gentlemanne
talke, ye perceive not the worthinesse in him that you had
beefore imagined, you doe not so soone lose the good
opinion of him, as you doe in the thinges wherein your eye
is by and by a judge. But you will looke from day to day,
to have him disclose some other hid vertue, kepinge notwithstanding
alwaies that stedfaste imprinting whiche you have,
risen by the woordes of so manye. And this man then
beeing (as I set case our Courtyer is) of so good qualities,
he will every houre strengthen you more and more, to geve
credence to that fame, for that with his doinges he shall
geve you a cause, and you will ever surmise somwhat more
to bee in him, then you see. And certeinly it can not bee
The first conceiving of a thing in ones minde. An example what reporte can doe.
denied, but these first imprintinges, have a very great force,
and a man ought to take muche heede to them. And that
you may understand of what weight they bee, I saie unto you, that I
have knowen in my dayes a gentleman, who
albeit he was of sufficient manerly beehaviour and modest
conditions and well seene in armes, yet was he not in any of
these qualities so ecsellente, but there were manie as good
and better. Notwithstandynge (as lucke served him) it
beefell that a gentlewoman entred most fervently in love
with him, and this love daily encreasing through declaration
that the yonge man made to agree with her in that beehalf,
and perceivinge no maner meane how they might come to
speake together, the gentlewoman provoked with to greate
passyon opened her desire to an other gentlewoman, by
whose meane she hoped upon some commodity, this woman
neyther in blood nor in beautie was a whitt inferiour to the
firste. Uppon this it came to passe that she, perceivynge
her talke so effectuallye of this yonge manne, whom she
never sawe, and knowinge howe that gentlewoman, whom
she wist well was most discreete and of a very good judgement, loved
him extreemelye, imagyned furthwith that he
was the fairest, the wisest, the discreetest, and finallie the
woorthiest manne to be beloved that was in the world: and
so without seeinge him fell so deepe in love with hym, that
she practised what she coulde to come by him, not for her
friend, but for her owne selfe, and to make him answerable
to her in love, the which she brought to passe without anye
greate a doe, for (to say the troth) she was a woman rather
to be sought upon then to seeke upon others. Nowe heare a
pretye chaunce. It happened no longe time after, that a
letter which this last gentlewoman writt unto her lover
came to the handes of another, that was a noble woman of
excellent qualities and singular beawtye, who beeinge (as
the most part of women are) inquisitive and greedie to
understande secretes and expecyallye of other women, opened
the letter, and in readinge it perceyved it was written with
an extreeme affection of love. And the sweete woordes full of fire that
the reade, firste moved her to take comapassyon
on that Gentlewoman (for she knew verie well from whom
the letter came and to whom it went) afterward they had
suche force, that skanning them in her minde, and
consideringe what maner a man this was like to be, that could bring
that woman into suche love, by and by she fell in love wyth
him, and that letter was more effectuall to woorke in thys
case, then peradventure it would have bene if it had bene
sent her from the yonge man himselfe. And as it chaunceth
sometime, poyson prepared in a dishe of meate for some
great man, killeth him that tasteth first of it, so thys poore
gentlewoman because she was to greedye, dranke of the
amourous poyson that was ordeyned for an other. What
shall I saye to you? The matter was verie open and spred so
abrode, that manie women beeside these, partlye in despite
of the other, and partly to do as the other did, bent all
their studie and diligence to enjoye his love, and for a season
played as children do at Chipchirie: and the wholl proceaded
of the first opinion which that woman conceyved that heard
him so prayed of an other.
Thinges in the judgement of the minde.
Nowe the L. Gaspar Pallavicin
answered here smilinge:
You to confirme your judgement with reason, alleage unto
me womens doinges, which for the most part are voide of al
reason. And in case you would tell all, this good felowe
thus favoured of so manie women was some doult, and a man in deede not
to be regarded, because the maner of them
is alwayes to cleave to the woorst, and like sheepe to do that
they see the first do, bee it well or yll: beeside that they be
so spiteful emong themselves, that if he had bene a monstrous creature
they would surelye have stolen him one from an other.
Womens dedes out of reason.
Here manie began and (in maner) all, to speake againste the L. Gaspar, but the Dutchesse made them all to houlde their peace. Afterward she said smilinge: If the yll which you speake of women were not so farr wide from the truth, that in speakinge it, it hurtheth and shameth rather the speaker than them, I would suffer you to be answered. But I will not have you, in speaking agaynste you wyth a number of reasons, forsake thys youre ill custome, because you may be sharplie punished for this offence of yours: which shall be with the ill opinion that all thei wil conceive of you that heare you talke in this wise.
Then aunswered Syr Fridericke:
Saye not, my L. Gaspar, that women are so voide of reason, though
somtime
they applie themselves to love, more through the judgemente
of others then their owne, for great men and many wyse
men doe often times the like. And it it be lawfull to tell
the troth, you your selfe and all we here ave many tymes,
and doe at this presente credit the opinion of others, more
then our owne. And that it is true, not long agoe there
were certein verses showed here, that bore the name of
Sanazarus, and were thought of every bodie very excellent,
Filthy talke. Good felowes. Ruffianlye pranckes.
and praised out of reason, afterwarde whan they wer
certeinly knowen to bee an other mannes doyng, they loste by
and by their reputation, and seemed worse then meane.
And where there was song in the Dutchesse presence, here a
certein Antheme, it never delited nor was reckened good,
until it was knowen to be the doing of Josquin de Pris.
But what token will you have more plainer of opinion?
Doe you not remember where you your selfe dranke of one
self wine, sometime ye said it was most perfect, and an other
time, without al taste? and that because you had been
perswaded they were two sortes, the one of the Coost of
Genua, and the other of this soile: and whan the errour
was opened, by no meanes you woulde beleave it: that false
opinion was grounded so stifly in your head, whiche arrose
notwithstanding of other mennes woordes. Therefore ought
the Courtier diligently to applie in the beeginning to geve
a good imprinting of himself, and consider what a harmefull
and deadly thing it is, to runne in the contrarie. And in
this daunger more then other menne doe they stande that
wil make profession to be pleasaunt and with this their
meerie facion purchase them a certeine libertie, that lawfully
they may saye and doe what commeth in their minde,
without thinking upon it. For suche men many times
enter into certein matters, which whan thei can not gete
out again, will afterwarde helpe them selves with raising
laughter, and it is done with so yll a grace that it will in no
wise frame, whereby they bring a very great lothsomenesse
upon as manie as see or heare them, and they remain very
colde and without any grace or countenance. Sometime
thinking thereby to bee subtill witted and ful of jestes, in
What opinion doeth.
the presence of honourable women, yea, and often times to
them themselves, they thrust out filthie and most dishonest
woordes: and the more they see them blush at it, the better
Courtiers they recken themselves, and styll they laugh at it,
and rejoyce emong themselves at thys goodlie vertue they
thinke thei have gotten them. But they practise this
beastlinesse for none other cause, but to bee counted good
felowes. This is the name alone whiche they deeme woorthie
praise, and whiche they bragg more of, then of anye thing
elles, and to gete it them, thei speak the foulest and
shamefullest villainies in the world. Many times they shoulder
one another downe the stayers, and hurle billettes and
brickes, one at an others head. They hurle handfulles of
dust in mens eyes. Thei cast horse and man into ditches,
or downe on the side of some hill. Then at table, potage,
sauce, gelies, and what ever commeth to hande, into the
face it goith. And afterwarde laughe: and whoso can doe
most of these trickes, he counteth himselfe the best and
galantest Courtyer, and supposeth that he hath wonne great
glorye. And in case otherwhile they gete a gentleman in
these their pleasaunt pastimes, that will not geve himselfe
to suche horseplay, they say by and by: He is to wise, we
shall have him a Counsellor, he is no good felowe. But I
will tell you a worse matter. Some there bee that contende
and laye wager, who can eate and drinke more unsaverye
and stincking thinges, and so abhorryng and contrary to
mans senses, that it is not possible to name them, without
very great lothsomenesse.
Men that counterfeit to be pleasant.
And what thinges be those? quoth the L. Lodovicus Pius.
Syr Friderick aunswered: Let the Marquesse Phebus tell you, for he hath often seen it in Fraunce, and peraventure felte it.
The Marquesse Phebus aunswered: I have seen none of these thinges done in Fraunce more then in Italy. But looke what good thinges the Italyans have in their garmentes, in feastinge, in bancketting, in feates of armes and in every other thinge that belongeth to a Courtier, they have it all of the Frenchmen.
I denie not, answered Syr
Friderick, but there are also
emong the Frenchmen verye honest and sober gentlemen,
Spaniardes agree wyth Italians in condicions. Frenche facions. To have sundry languages. Many places to be commended beeside the best.
Somtyme a mannes ignoraunce is to be
confessed. Men utter thinges to their shame many times.
and for my part I have knowen manye (without peraventure)
worthye all praise. But yet some there are of litle good
maner: and to speake generally (me thinke) the Spaniardes
agree more wyth Italyans, in condicions, the Frenchmen:
because (in my minde) the peculiar quiet gravitie of the
Spaniardes is more agreeable to oure nature then the
quicke livelinesse that is perceived in the French nation
almost in every gesture: which is not to be discommended
in them, but is rather a grace, for it is so naturall and
propre to them, that there is no maner affecting or curiositie
in it. There are many Italians that would faine counterfeit
their facion, and can do naught elles but shake the head in
speakinge, and make a legg with an yll grace, and when
they come oute of their doores into the Citie, goe so faste
that good footemen canne scant overtake them, and with
these maners they weene themselves good Frenchmen, and
to have of that libertye: whiche (ywisse) chaunseth verie
sildome savinge to suche as are brought up in Fraunce and
have learned that facion from their childhood. The like is
to be said in the knowleag of sundrie tunges, which I commend much in
oure Courtier, and expeciallye Spanish and
Frenche, because the entercourse of both the one nation and
the other is much haunted in Italy, and these two are more
agreable unto us then any of the rest, and those two Princes
for that they are verye mighty in war and most riall in
peace, have their Court alwaies fournished with valiant
gentlemen, whiche are disperesed throughout the world, and
againe we must needes practise with them. I wil not now
proceade to speake any more particularly of matters to well
knowen, as that oure Courtier ought not to professe to be a
glutton nor a dronkard, nor riotous and unordinate in any
il condicion, nor filthy and unclenly in his living, with
certaine rude and boysterous beehaviours that smell of the
plough and cart a thousand mile of, for he that is of that
sort, it is not only not to be hoped that he will make a good
Courtier, but he can be set to no better use then to kepe
sheepe. And to conclude, I saye that (to doe well) the
Courtier oughte to have a perfect understandinge in that
we have sayde is meete for him, so that every possible thinge
may be easye to him, and all men wonder at him, and he at
no manne: meaning notwithstanding in this poinct that
there be not a certaine loftye and unmanerlye stubburnnesse,
as some men have that showe themselves not to wonder at
the thinges which other men do, because they take upon
Italyans borow of the Frenchmen.
Gravitye. in Spaniardes.
Livelines in French men.
them that they can do them much better: and with their
silence do commend them as unworthy to be spoken of, and
wyll make a gesture (in a maner) as though none beeside
were (I will not say their equall, but) able to conceyve the
understanding of the profoundnes of their couning. Therfore ought the
Courtier to shonn these hateful maners, and
with gentlenesse and courtesie praise other mens good dedes:
and thoughe he perceyve himselfe excellent and farr above
others, yet showe that he esteameth not hymselfe for such a
one. But because these so full perfections are very sildome
founde in the nature of man, and perhappes never, yet ought
not a man that perceyveth himself in some part to want, to
lay aside his hope to come to a good passe, though he can
not reach to that perfect and high excellency which he
aspireth unto: because in every art there be manye other
places beeside the best, all praiseworthye: and he that
striveth to come by the highest, it is sildome sene that he
passeth not the meane. I will have our Courtier therfore,
if he find himself excellent in anie thinge beeside armes, to
sett out himselfe, and gete him estymatyon by it after an
honest sorte, and be so dyscreete and of so good a judgemente, that he
maye have the understandinge after a comelye
maner, and with good pourpose to allure men to heare or to
looke on that he supposeth himselfe to be excellente in:
making semblant alwaies to doe it, not for a bragge and
to shewe it for vainglory, but at a chaunce, and rather
praied by others, then commyng of his owne free will.
And in every thing that he hath to do or to speake, if it be
possible, lette him come alwaies provided and thinke on it
beefore hande, showyng notwithstanding, the whole to bee
done ex tempore, and at the first sight. As for the thinges
he hath but a meane skill in, let him touche them (as it
were) by the waie, without grounding muche upon them,
Some commende not thynges well done.
yet in such wise that a man may beleve he hath a great deale
more cunning therin, then he uttereth: as certein Poetes
sometime that harped upon verye subtill pointes of
Philosophie, or other sciences, and paraventure had small understanding
in the matter. And in that he knoweth himself
altogether ignoraunt in, I will never have him make any
profession at all, nor seeke to purchase him anye fame by
it: but rather whan occasion serveth, confesse to have no
understanding in it.
Howe a man should show his couning.
This, quoth Calmeta, would Nicholetto never have done, whiche being a verye excellent Philosopher, and no more skilfull in the lawe then in fleeing, whan a Governour of Padoa was mynded to geve him one of those Lectures in the lawe, he woulde never yelde at the perswasion of many Scholars, to deceyve the opinion whiche the governour had conceived of him, and confesse that he had no understanding in it: but saide styll that he was not in this point of Socrates opinion, for it is not a Phylosophers part to saye at anye tyme, that he hath no understanding.
I say not, aunswered Syr
Fridericke, that the Courtyer
should of hymself go say he hath no understandyng, without
it bee required of hym: for I allowe not this fondnesse to
accuse and debase himselfe. Againe I remember some otherwhyle
that in like sorte doe willingly disclose some matters, whiche although
they happened perhappes without any faulte
of theirs, yet bring they with them a shadowe of sclaunder,
as did a gentleman (whom you all know) which alwayes
whan he heard any mencion made of the battaile beeside
Parma agaynst kynge Charles, he woulde by and by declare
how he fled away, and a man would weene that he sawe
or understoode nothing elles in that journey. Afterward
talking of a certein famous just, he reheresed continuallie
howe he was overthrowen: and manye times also he seemed
in his talke to seeke how he might bringe into pourpose to
declare that upon a nyghte as he was goynge to speake
with a gentlewoman, he was well beaten wyth a cudgell.
Such triflyinge folyes I will not have our Courtier to speake
of. But me thinke whan occasion is offred to showe his
skill in a matter he is altogether ignoraunte in it is well
done to avoide it. Yf necessitie compell him, let him
rather confesse plainly his lack of understanding in it, then
hasard himself, and so shall he avoide a blame that manye
Men that take in hand thinges they have no
skill in.
deseve nowadayes, which I woote not through what
corrupte inward motion or judgement out of reason, do alwayes
take upon them to practise the thinge they know not, and
lay aside that they are skilfull in: and for a confirmation of
this, I know a very excellent musitien, which leaving his
musike a part hath whollye geven himselfe to versifiynge,
and thynketh himselfe a great clearke therin, but in deede
he maketh everye man to laugh him to skorne, and now
hath he also cleane lst his musike. An other, one of the
chieffest peincters in the world, neglectinge his art wherin
he was verie excellent, hath applied himselfe to learne
Pilosophye, wherein he hath such straunge conceites and
monstrous fansyes, that withall the peinctinge he hath he
can not peinct them. And such as these there be infinite.
Some there be that knowing themselves to have an
excellency in one thing, make their principall profession in an
other, in which not withstanding they are not ignoraunt, but
whan time serveth to show themselves in that they are
most skilfull in, they doe it alwayes verie perfectlye: and
otherwhile it commeth so to passe, that the companye perceivinge them
so couning in that which is not their profession,
they imagine them to be much better in that thei professe
im deede. This art in case it be coopled with a good
judgemente, discontenteth me nothing at all.
How he should doe in a matter he hath no
skil in.
Then answered the L. Gaspar Palavicin: I thinke not this is an art, but a verie deceite, and I beleave it is not meete for him that will bee an honset man to deceive at anye time.
This, quoth Syr Fridericke, is
rather an ornament that
accompanyeth the thinge he doeth, then a deceite: and
though it be a deceite, yet it is not to be disalowed. Will
you not saye also, that he that beateth he felow, where
there be two plaiyng at fence together, beeguyleth hym,
and that is bicause he hath more art then the other? And
where you have a jewell that unsett seemeth faire,
afterward whan it commeth to a goldsmithes handes that in well
setting it maketh it appeere muche more fairer, will you not
saye that the goldsmith deceiveth the eyes of them that
looke on it? And yet for that deceite, deserveth he praise,
for with judgement and art a couninge hande doeth manie
tymes ad a grace and ornament to yvorie, or to sylver, or to
a stone that is faire in sight, settinge it in golde. We saye
not then that this art or deceite (in case you wyll so terme
it) deserveth anie maner blame. Also it is not ill for a man
that knoweth himselfe skilfull in a matter, to seeke occasyon
after a comelye sorte to showe hys feat therein, and in
lykecase to cover the partes he thynketh scante woorthye
praise, yet notwithstandinge all after a certeine warye
dyssymulacion. Doe you not remember how kinge Ferdinande
J. Cæsar.
wythout makinge any showe to seeke it, tooke occasion
verye well to stryppe hymselfe sometyme into his doblet?
and that bicause he knewe he was verye well made and
nymble wythall. And bicause hys handes were not all of
the fairest, he sildome plucked of hys gloves, and (in maner)
never. And fewe there were that tooke heede to this
warinesse of hys. Me thynke also I have reade, that Julius
Cæsar ware for the nones a garlande of Laurell, to hyde
hys baldenesse withall. But in these matters a manne muste
be verye circumspecte and of a good judgemente least he
passe hys boundes: for to avoyde one errour often tymes a
manne falleth into an other, and to gete him praise,
purchaseth blame.
King Ferdinand of Naples.
Therfore the surest
way in the
worlde, is, for a manne in
hys lyving and conversation to governe himself alwaies with
a certeine honest meane, whych (no doubt) is a great and
moste sure shield againste envie, the whiche a manne ought
to avoide in what he is able. I wyll have oure Courtier also
take heede he purchase not the name of a lyar, nor of a vaine person,
whiche happeneth manie tymes and to them
No lyar.
also that deserve it not. Therfore in his communicatyon
let him be alwayes heedefull not to goe out of the
lykelyhoode of truth, yea and not to speake to often those truthes
that have the face of a lye, as many doe, that never speake
but of wonders, and will be of suche authoritye, that everye
uncredyble matter must be beleaved at their mouth. Other,
at the firste entringe into a frendshipp wyth a newe friende,
to gete favour wyth hym, the firste thynge they speake,
sweare that there is not a person in the world whom thei
love better, and they are wyllynge to jeoparde their lyfe for
hys sake, and suche other matters out of reason, and whan
they part from hym makewise to weepe, and not to speake a
woorde for sorowe. Thus bicause they woulde bee counted
to lovynge woormes, they make menne counte them lyars,
and fonde flatterers. But it were to longe a matter and
tedyous to recken uppe all vyces that maye happen in
conversatyon. Therefore, for that I desire in the Courtyer, it
suffyceth to saye (beesyde the matters rehersed) that he bee
suche a one that shall never wante good communycatyon
An honest meane in livinge.
and fytte for them he talketh wythall, and have a good
understandynge with a certein sweetnesse to refresh the
hearers mindes, and with meerie conceites and Jestes to
provoke them to solace and laughter, so that without beinge
at any time lothesome or satiate he may evermore delite
them. Now I hope my L. Emilia wil give me leave to houlde
my peace, which in case she denie me, I shall by mine owne
woordes be convicted not to be the good courtier I have
tould you of, for not only good communication, which
neither at this time nor perhappes at any other ye have
heard in me: but also this I have, such as it is, doeth
cleane faile me.
Conceytes and jestes.
Then spake the L. Generall: I will not have this false opinion to sticke in the heade of anye of us, that you are not a verye good Courtier, for (to say the truth) this desire of yours to houlde your peace proceadeth rather because you would be rid of your peine, then for that ye want talke. Therfore that it maye not appeare in so noble assemblye as this, and in so excellent talke, any percell be left out, saye you not nay to teach us how we shoulde use these Jestes you have made mention of, and showe us the art that beelongeth to all this kinde of pleasant speach to provoke laughter and solace after an honest sorte, for (in myne opinion) it is verye necessary and much to pourpose for a Courtier.
My Lord, answered Syr
Fridericke, Jestes and meerie
conceites are rather a gifte, and a grace of nature, then of
Respectes in jesting. Cavillatio.
art, but yet there are some nations more redier in it then
other some, as the Tuscanes, which in deede are very subtill.
Also it appeareth propre to the Spaniardes to invent meerie
conceites. Yet are there manye notwithstandinge both of
this nation and other also that in to much babblinge passe
sometime their boundes and wexe unsavery and fonde,
because thei have no respecte to the condicion of the person
they commune withall, to the place where they be, to the
time, to the gravitie and modestye which they ought to
have in themselves.
This discourse of Jestes is taken out of
Cicero de Orat. lib.
ii.
Then answered the L. Generall: You denie that there is any art in Jestes, and yet in speaking against such as observe them not with modestye and gravitie and have not respecte to the time and to the person they commune withal, me thinke ye declare that this may also be taught and hath some doctrine in it.
These rules my Lorde, ansered
Sir Fridericke, be so
generall that they maye be applied to everie matter, and
helpe it forward. But I have said there is no art in Jestes,
because (me thinke) they are onlie of two sortes: whereof
the one is enlarged in communication that is longe and
without interruption: as is seene in some men that with so
good an utterance and grace and so pleasantly declare and
expresse a matter that happened unto them or that they
have seene and hearde, that with their gesture and woordes
they sett it beefore a mans eyes, and (in maner) make him
feele it with hande, and this peraventure for want of an
other terme we may call Festivitie or els Civilitie. The
other sort of Jestes is verie breef, and consisteth only in
quicke and subtill saiynges, as manie times there are heard
emong us, and in nickes, neyther doeth it appeare that they
Dicta.
are of any grace without that litle bitynge, and these emong
them of olde time wer also called Saiynges, now some terme
them Privie tauntes. I say therfore in the first kinde,
whiche is a meerye maner of expressinge, there needeth no
art, bicause verye nature her self createth and shapeth
menne apt to expresse pleasantly and geveth them a countenaunce,
gestures, a voice, and woordes for the pourpose
to conterfeit what they luste. In the other of Privie
tauntes what can art do? Sins that quippie ought to be shott out and
hit the pricke beefore a man can descerne
that he that speaketh it can thinke upon it, elles it is
colde and litle woorth. Therfore (thinke I) all is the
woorke of witt and nature.
Dicacitas.
Then tooke M. Peter Bembo the matter in hande, and said: The L. Generall denieth not that you say: namely that nature and witt beare not the chieffest stroke, especiallye as touching invention, but it is certein that in ech mans mind, of howe good a witt so ever he be, there arrise conceites both good and badd, and more and lesse, but then judgement and art doeth polishe and correct them, and chouseth the good and refuseth the bad. Therfore laiynge aside that beelongeth to witt, declare you unto us that consisteth in art: that is to weete, of Jestes amd meery conceites that move laughter, whiche are meete for the Courtier and whyche are not, and in what time and maner they ought to be used: for this is that the L. Generall demaundeth of you.
Then Sir Fridericke said smilynge: There is never a one of us here that I will not geve place unto in everie matter, and especiallie in Jestinge, onlesse perhappes folies, whiche make menne laugh manie times more then wittie saiynges, were also to be allowed for Jestes.
And so tourning him to Count Lewis and to M. Bernarde Bibiena, he said unto them: These be the maisters of this facultie, of whom in case I must speake of meerie saiynges, I must first learne what I have to saye.
Count Lewis answered: Me thynke you begine nowe to practise that you saye ye are not skilfull in, whiche is, to make these Lordes laughe in mockinge M. Bernarde and me, bicause everye one of them woteth well that the thinge which you praise us for, is much more perfectly in you. Therefore in case you be weerie, it is better for you to sue to the Dutchesse that it would please her to deferr the remnant of oure talke till to morowe, then to go about with craft to rid your handes of peines takinge.
Sir Friderick beegan to make aunswere, but the L. Emilia interrupted him immediatlye and said: It is not the order that the disputacion shoulde be consumed upon your praise, it sufficeth ye are verie well knowen all. But bicause it commeth in my minde that you (Count) imputed to me yesternyght, that I divided not the paines takinge equallye, it shall be well done that Syr Frydericke reste him a whyle and the charge of speakynge of Jestes we wyll commytte to M. Bernarde Bibiena, for we doe not onlye knowe hym verye quicke wytted in talkynge wythoute intermission, but also it is not oute of oure memorye that he hath sundrye tymes promysed to wryte of thys matter. And therfore we maye thynke he hath verye well thought uppon it all thys whyle, and ought the better to satiysfie us in it. Afterwarde when there shall be sufficientlye spoken of Jestes, Syr Fridericke shall proceede forwarde againe wyth that he hath yet bee hinde concerning the Courtier.
Then sayde Sir Fridericke: Madam, I knowe not what I have lefte beehinde anie more, but lyke a travailer on the waye nowe weerie of the peinefulnesse of my longe journey at noone tide, I will reste me in M. Bernardes communication at the sowne of hys woordes, as it were under some faire tree that casteth a goodlye shadowe at the sweete roaringe of a plentifull and livelye springe: afterward (maye happe) beeinge somewhat refreshed I maye have somewhat elles to saye.
M. Bernarde answered laughynge: Yf I showe you the toppe ye shall see what shadowe may be hoped for at the leaves of my tree. To heare the roaringe of the livelye sprynge ye speake of, it maye happen bee your chaunce so to doe, for I was once tourned into a sprynge: not by anye of the goddes of old tyme, but by oure frier Marian. And from that tyme hytherto I have never wanted water.
Then beegan they all to fall in a laughynge, bicause thys pleasante matter whiche M. Bernarde ment that happened to him in Roome in the presence of Galeotto Cardinal of S. Petro in Vincula, was well knowen to them all.
After they had ceased laughinge the L. Emilia saide: Leave now makynge us laugh wyth practisynge of Jestes, and teache us howe we should use them, and whence they are deryved, and what ever elles ye knowe in thys matter. And for losynge anye more tyme beegyne oute of hande.
I doubte me, quoth M. Bernarde, it is late, and leaste my talke of pleasant matters should seeme unpleasant and tedyous, perhappes it were good to deferr it tyll to morrow.
Here incontinently many made answer that it lacked yet a good deale of the houre whan they were wont to leave of reasoning.
Then M. Bernarde tourning to
the Dutchesse and to
the L. Emilia, I wil not refuse this labour (quoth he)
althoughe I be wont to marveile at the boulnesse of them
that dare take upon them to sing to the lute, whan our
James Sansecondo standeth by, even so ought not I in the
presence of hearers that have much better understanding in
that I have to saye, then I my selfe, take upon me to entreate
of Jestes. Nevertheles least I should show a president to
anye of these Lordes to refuse that they shall bee charged
withall, I will speake as breeflye as I can possible what
commeth in my minde as touching matters that cause
laughter, which is so propre to us that to describe a man
Wherein laughing matters consist. Who are to be jested at. Praise or dispraise in the self woordes. Dicto. Cicero mentioneth not this last kind of
jestes. N. PP. V. Gior. viii. Counterfeiters of mens maners.
the commune saiyng is, He is a livinge creature that can
laugh: because this laughing is perceived onlie in man, and
(in maner) alwaies is a token of a certein jocundenesse and
meerie moode that he feeleth inwardlie in his minde, which
by nature is drawen to pleasantnesse and coveteth quietnes
and refreshing, for whiche cause we can see menne have invented
many matters, as sportes, games and pastimes, and so many
sundrie sortes of open showes. And because we beare good
will to suche as are the occasion of this recreation of oures,
the maner was emonge the kinges of olde time, emong the
Romanes, the Athenians and manie other, to gete the good
will of the people withall, and to feede the eyes and myndes
of the multitude, to make greate Theatres, and other
publyque buildinges, and there to showe new devises of
pastimes, running of horses and Charettes, fightinges of
men together, straunge beastes, Comedies, Tragedies, and
daunses of Antique. Neither did the grave Philosophers
shonn these sightes, for manie tymes both in thys maner
and at banckettes they refreshed their weeryesome myndes,
in those high discourses and divine imaginacions of
theirs. The which in lykewyse all sortes of men are
wyllinge to doe, for not onlye Ploughmen, Mariners, and all
such as are inured wyth harde and boysterous exercises,
with hande, but also holye religious men and prisoners that
from hour to hour waite for death, goe about yet to seeke
Homo animal risibile.
some remedy and medicine to refreshe themselves. Whatsoever therefore
causeth laughter, the same maketh the
minde jocunde and geveth pleasure, nor suffreth a man in
that instant to minde the troublesome greefes that oure
life is full of. Therefore (as you see) laughing is very
acceptable to all men, and he is muche to be commended
that can cause it in due time and after a comlie sort. But
what this laughing is, and where it consisteth, and in what
maner somtime it taketh the veines, the eies, the mouth
and the sides, and seemeth as though it woulde make us
burst, so that what ever resistance we make, it is not possible
to kepe it, I will leave it to be disputed of Democritus, the
which also in case he woulde promise us, he should not perfourme it.
The place therfore and (as it were) the
hedspring that laughing matters arrise of, consisteth in a certein
deformitie or ill favourednesse, bicause a man laugheth onlie
at those matters that are disagreeing in themselves, and (to
a mans seeminge) are in yll plight, where it is not so in
deede. I wote not otherwise how to expounde it, but if
you will beethinke your selfe, ye shall perceive the thinge
that a man alwayes laugheth at, is a matter that soundeth not well, and
yet is it not in yll syttinge. What kinde of
wayes therefore those be that the Courtier ought to use in
causing laughter and of what scope, I will assay in what I
can tho utter unto you as farr as my judgemente can give me,
bicause to make men laughe alwayes is not comelie for the
Courtier, nor yet in suche wise as frantike, dronken, foolishe
and fonde men and in like maner commune jesters do: and
though to a mans thinkinge Courtes cannot be without
suche kinde of persons, yet deserve they not the name of a
Courtier, but eche man to be called by his name and esteamed
suche as they are. The scope an measure to make men
To fede the eyes of the people.
laughe in tauntinge must also be diligentlye considered:
who he is that is taunted, for it provoketh no laughter to
mocke and skorne a seelye soule in miserie and calamitie,
nor yet a naughtie knave and commune ribaulde, bicause a
man would thinke that these men deserved to be otherwise
punished, then in jestinge at. And mens mindes are not
bent to scoff them in misery, onelesse such men in their
mishapp bragg and boast of them selves and have a proude
and haughtye stomake. Again a respect must be had to
them that are generallye favoured and beloved of everie
man, and that beare stroke, bicause in mockinge and scorninge
such a one, a man may sometime purchase himselfe daungerous
enimitie. Therefore it is not amysse to scoff
and mocke at vices that are in persons not of such miserye
that it should move compassion, nor of suche wickednesse
that a man woulde thinke they deserved not to go on the
grounde, nor of such aucthoritie that any litle displeasure
of theirs may be a great hindraunce to a man. You shall
understande moreover that out of the places jestinge
matters are derived from, a man may in like maner pike
grave sentences to praise or dispraise. And otherwhile
with the self same woordes: as to praise a liberall man that
partaketh his goodes in commune with his friendes, the
commune saying is, That he hath is none of his owne.
The like may be saide in dispraise of one that hath stolen
or compased that he hath by other ill meanes. It is also a
commune saiyng, She is a woman of no small price, whan
a man will praise her for her vertues, for her wisedome and
goodnes. The very same may be said of a woman that loketh
to be kept sumtiouslye: But it commeth oftner to pourpose
that a man in this case serveth his tourne with the self
same places then with the self same woordes. As within
these few dayes three Gentilmen standinge at masse together
in a churche where was a gentilwoman one of the three was
in love withall, there came a poore beggar and stood before
her requiringe her almes, and so with much instance and
lamenting with a groning voice repeted manie times his
request: yet for all that did she not give him her almes,
nor denie it him in making signe to depart in Gods name,
but stoode musing with her self as though she minded
another matter. Then said the gentilman that loved her
to his two companions, See what I maye hope for at my maistresse
handes, which is so cruell, that she will neither give the poore naked
soule dead for hunger, that requireth
her with such passion and so instantly, her almes, ne yet
leave to depart, so much she rejoyceth to beehoulde with her
eyes one that is broughte lowe with misery and that in vaine
requireth her reward. One of the two answered: It is no
crueltye, but a privie adminicion for you to doe you to
weete that your maistresse is not pleased with him that
requireth her with much instance. The other answered:
Nay, it is rather a lesson for him, that although she give
not that is required of her, yet she is willing inough to be
suid to. See here, bicause the gentilwoman sent not the
poore man away, there arrose one saying of great dispraise,
one of modest praise and another of nipping boord. To
retourn therefore to declare the kindes of Jests apperteining
Considerations in jesting.
to our pourpose, I say (in mine opinion) there are of three
sorts, although Sir Fridericke hath made mention but of two.
The one a civill and pleasant declaration without interruption,
which consisteth in the effect of a thing. The other a
quicke and subtill readines, which consisteth in one saiyng
alone. Therfore wil we ad a third sort to these, which we
call Boordes or meerie Prankes, wherin the processe is long
and the saiynges short and some deedes with all. The
firste therfore that consisteth in communication without
interruption are in that sort (in a maner) as though a man
woulde tell a tale. And to give you an example, whan Pope
Alexander the sixte died and Pius the thirde created, beeinge
then in Roome and in the Palaice youre Sir Anthonye
Agnello of Mantua, my L. Dutchesse, and communynge of the death of the
one and creatyon of the other, and therin
makyng sundrie discourses with certein friendes of his, he
said: Sirs, in Caullus time gates beegan to speake without
tunge and to heare without eares and in that sort discovered
advouteries. Now although men be not of such worthinesse
as they were in those daies, yet perhappes the gates that are
made, a great sorte of them, especiallye here at Roome, of
auntient Marble, have the same vertue they had then. And
for my parte I beleave that these two will cleere us of all
our doubtes, in case we will aske counsell of them. Then
those Gentilmen mused much at the matter and attended to
see to what ende it woulde come, whan Sir Anthony folowinge
on still up and downe lifte up his eyes as at a sodeine,
to one of the two gates of the hall where they walked: and
stayinge a while with his finger he showed his companye the
inscriptyon over it, which was Pope Alexanders name, and
Ré.
at the ende of it was V and I, bicause it should signifie (as
ye knowe) the sixt. And said: See here, this gate sayth
Alexander Papa VI. which signifieth he hath bin Pope
through the force he hath used, and hath prevailed more
thereby then with right and reason. Now let us see if we may of this
other understand anye thinge of the newe
Bishoppe: and tounyng him as at aventure to the other gate, pointed to
the inscription of one N. two PP. and one
V. whiche signifieth Nicholaus Papa Quintus, and immediately he said:
Good Lord ill newis, see here this gate saith Nihil Papa Valet. See
now how this kinde of Jestes is
propre and good and how fitting it is for one in Court,
whether it be true or false a man saith, for in this case it is
lawfull to feigne what a man lusteth wythout blame: and in
speakinge the truthe to sett it furthe with a feat lye,
augmentinge or diminishinge according to the pourpose.
But the perfect grace and very pith of this, is to set furth
so well and without peine not onlie in woordes but in
gestures, the thynge a man pourposeth to expresse, that unto
the hearers he maye appeere to do before their eyes the
thinges he speaketh of. And this expressed maner in this
wise hath suche force, that otherwhile it setteth furth and
maketh a matter delite verie muche, whiche of it selfe is not
verie meerie nor wittie. And althoughe these protestacions
neede gestures, and the earnestnesse that a livelie voice hath,
yet is the force of them knowen also otherwhile in writing.
Who laugheth not when John Boccaccio in the eight
journey of his hundreth tales declareth howe the priest of
Varlungo strayned himselfe to singe a Kyrie and a Sanctus,
Alexander PP. VI.
when he perceived Belcolore was in the Church? These be
also pleasant declarations in his tales of Calandrino and
manie other. After the same sort seemeth to be the makinge a man laughe
in counterfeitinge or imitatinge
(howe-ever we lyste to terme it) of a mans maners,
wherin hitherto I have seene none passe oure M. Robert
of Bari.
Giornata viii.
Novella ii.
Novel. ii. and vi.
Gior. ix.
Novel. iii. and v.
This were no small praise, quoth M. Robert, if it were true, for then would I surely go about to counterfeite rather the good then the bad: and if I could liken my self to some I know, I would thinke my selfe a happye man. But I feare me I can counterfeite nothinge but what maketh a man laughe, which you said before consisteth in vice.
M. Bernarde answered: In vice
in deede, but that that
standeth not in yll plight. And weete you well, that this
counterfeitinge we speake of, can not be without witt, for
beeside the maner to applie his woordes and his gestures,
and to set beefore the hearers eyes the countenance and
maners of him he speaketh of, he must be wise, and have
great respect to the place, to the time and to the persons
with whom he talketh, and not like a commune Jester passe
his boundes, which thinges you wonderfully well observe, and
therefore I beleave ye are skilfull in all. For undoubtedlye
it is not meete for a Gentlemanne to make weepinge and
laughing faces, to make sounes and voices, and to wrastle
with himselfe alone as Berto doeth, to apparaile himself
like a lobb of the Countrey as doeth Strascino, and such
other matters, which do well beecome them, bicause it is
their profession. But we must by the way and privilie
steale this counterfeiting, alwayes keeping the astate of a
gentilman, without speaking filthy wordes, or doing
uncomelye deedes, without making faces and antiques, but
frame our gestures after a certein maner, that who so
heareth and seeth us, may by our wordes and countenances
imagin muche more then he seeth and heareth, and upon
that take occasion to laughe. He must also in this
counterfeiting take heed of to much taunting in touching a man,
especially in the ill favourednesse of visage or yll shape of
bodye. For as the mishappes and vices of the bodie
minister manie times ample matter to laughe at, if a man
can discreatly handle it, even so the usinge of this maner to
bytingly is a token not onlie of a commune jester, but of
a plaine ennemy. Therfore must a man observe in this
poinct (though it be hard) the facion of our M. Roberte, as
Foolish maters.
I have said, which counterfeiteth al men and not with out
touchinge them in the matters wherein they be faultie and
in presence of themselves, and yet no man findeth himselfe
agreeved, neyther may a man thinke that he can take it in
ill part. And of this I will geve you no example, bicause
we all see infinit in him dailie. Also it provoketh much
laughter (which nevertheles is conteined under declaration)
whan a man repeteth with a good grace certein defaultes of
other men, so they be meane and not worthy greater
correction: as foolishe matters sometime symplye of themselves
alone, somtime annexed with a litle readie nippinge
fondenesse. Likewise certein extreme and curious matters. Otherwhile a
great and well forged lye. As few dayes ago oure
M. Cesar declared a pretie foolishe matter, which was, that
beeyng with the Mayor of this Citie, he saw a Countrey
man come to him to complaine that he had an Asse stolen
from him, and after he had toulde him of his povertie and
how the theif deceyved him, to make his losse the greater
he said unto him: Syr if you had seen mine Asse you should
have knowen what a cause I have to complaine, for with his
pad on his backe a man would have thought him very Tully
himself. And one of our train meetinge a herd of Gotes beefore the
which was a mightie great Ramm Gote, he
stayed and with a merveilous countenaunce saide: Marke me
this Gote, he seemeth a Saint Paul.
Nippes that touch a man.
The L. Gasper saith he knew an other, whyche for that he was an olde servaunt to Hercules duke of Ferrara, did offre him two pretie boyes which he had, to be hys pages, and these two died both beefore they came to hys service. The which whan the duke understoode, he lamented lovinglie with the father, saying that he was verie sorie, bicause whan he sawe them upon a time he thought them handsome and wittie children. The father made answere, Nay My Lorde, you sawe nothing, for within these fewe dayes they were become muche more handsomer and of better qualities then I woulde ever have thought, and sange together like a coople of haukes. And one of these dayes a Doctour of oures beehouldinge one that was judged to be whipped aboute the markett place, and taking pitye upon him bicause the poore soules shoulders bled sore, and went so soft a pace, as thoughe he had walked about for his pleasure to pass the time withall he sayd to hym: Goo on a pace poore felowe that thou mayst be the sooner out of they peine. Then he tourninge about and beehouldynge him that so said (in a maner) with a wonder, staide a while withoute anye woord, afterwarde he saide: Whan thou art whipped goe at thy pleasure, for nowe will I goe as I shall thinke good.
You may remember also the
foolyshe matter that not
longe a goe the Duke rehersed of the Abbot that beeynge
presente upon a daye whan Duke Fridericke was talkynge
where he shoulde bestowe the greate quantitye of rubbyshe
that was caste up to laye the foundacyon of this Palayce,
woorkynge dailye upon it, sayde: My Lorde, I have well
beethoughte me where you shall bestowe it, let there be a
great pitt digged and into that may you have it cast
without any more ado. Duke Fridericke answered him not
withoute laughter: And where shall we beestowe then the
quantitie of earth that shall be cast out of that pit? The
abbot saide unto him: Let it be made so large that it may
well receive both the one and the other. And so for all the
Duke repeted sundrie times, the greater the pitt was, the
more earth should be cast out of it, yet coulde he never
make it sink into his braine, but it might be made so large
that it mighte receive both the one and the other: and he
answered him nothinge elles but make it so much the larger.
Now see what a good forecast this Abbot had.
The judgement of an Abbot.
Then said M. Peter Bembo: And why tell you not that, of your great Capitain of Florence that was beeseaged of the Duke of Calabria within Castellina? Where there were found upon a day in the towne certeine quarelles pysoned that had bine shott out of the campe, he wrott unto the Duke, yf the warr should procead so cruellye, he would also put a medicin upon his gunnstones, and then he that hath the woorst, hath his mendes in his handes.
M. Bernarde laughed and saide: Yf you houlde not youre peace (M. Peter) I will tell whatsoever I have seene my selfe and hearde of your Ventians, which is not a litle, and especially when they play the riders.
Doe not I beseech ye, answered M. Peter, for I will keepe to my selfe two other verie pretye ones that I knowe of your Florentines.
M. Bernarde saide: They are
rather of the Seneses, for
it often happeneth emonge them. As within these fewe
dayes one of them hearing certein lettres read in the Counsell
chamber, in which for avoidinge to often repetition of his
name that was spoken of, this terme was manie times put
in, il Prelabato (which signifieth the aforenamed) he said
unto him that read them: Soft, stay there a litle and tell
me, this Prelibato what is he? A frinde to oure Communaltye?
Siena.
M. Peter laughed, then he proceaded: I speake of Florentines and not of Seneses.
Speake it hardly, quoth the L. Emilia, and bash not for that matter.
M. Peter said: Whan the Lordes
of Florence were in warr
against the Pisanes, they were otherwhile out of money by
reason of theyr great charges, and laying their heades together
upon a daye in the counsell chambre what waye were
beste to make provision to serve their tourne withall, after
many divises propounded, one of the auntientest Citizins
said: I have found two wayes, wherby without much travaile
we may in a small while come by a good portion of money.
Wherof the one is (bicause we have no redier rent then the
custome at the gates of Florence) where we have xi. gates,
let us with speede make xi. mo, and so shall we double oure
revenue. The other way is, to set up a mint in Pistoia and
an other in Prato no more nor lesse then is here within
Florence: and there doe nothinge elles daye and night but
coyne money, and all Ducates of golde, and this divise (in
mine opinion) is the speedier and lesse chargeable.
A Florentines devise.
They fell a laughing apace at the subtill divise of this Citizin, and whan laughinge was ceased the L. Emilia said: Will you (M. Bernarde) suffre M. Peter thus to jeste at Floretines without a revenge?
M. Bernarde answered smilinge: I pardon him this offence, for where he hath displeased me in jestinge at Floretines, he hath pleased me in obeyinge of you, the which I would alwaies do my selfe.
Then said the L. Cesar: I heard
a Brescian speake a jolie
grosse matter, whiche beeinge this yeere in Venice at the
feast of the Assention, rehersed in a place where I was to
A faire vessell of pleasure in Venice made
Galliwise. Everye yeere upon the Ascension daye the Duke with all the
counsell goith in it a mile or two into the sea, and there casteth a
ring of gold into it thinking by this yeerly ceremonye they so marie
the Sea that it will never leave the Citye on drie lande.
certain mates of his, the goodlye matters he had seene
there, what sundrie merchaundise, what plate, what sortes
of spices, and what cloth and silke there was, then how the
Signora yssued out with a great pompe in Bucentoro to
wedd the Sea, in which were so manie gentilmen well
apparailed, so manie sortes of instrumentes and melodies that
a man woulde have thought it a paradise. And whan one
of his companions demaunded him what kynde of musike
did please him best of all that he had heard there, he said:
All were good, yet emong the rest I saw one blowe in a
straunge trumpett, whiche at everye pushe thrust it into
his throte more then two handful, and then by and by drew
it out again, and thrust it in a freshe, that you never sawe
a greater wondre.
Upon the ascention daye a great faire in
Venice.
Then they all laughed, understandinge the fonde imagination of him that thoughte the blower thruste into his throte that part of the Sagbout that is hid in puttinge it backe againe.
Then M. Bernarde went forward: Those Affectations and curiosities that are but meane, bringe a lothsomnesse with them, but whan they be done oute of measure they much provoke laughter. As otherwhile whan some men are heard to speake of their antientrye and noblenesse of birth: sometime women of their beawtie and handsomenesse: as not long ago a Gentilwoman did, which at a great feast beinge verie sad and musing with her self, it was demaunded of her, what she thought upon that should make her so sad. And she made answere, I thought upon a matter whiche as ofte as it commeth into my minde doth muche trouble me, and I can not put it out of my hert: whiche is, where in the daye of generall judgement all bodies muste arrise again and appeere naked beefore the judgement seat of Christ, I can not abide the greef I feele in thinking mine must also be sene naked. Such Affectacions as these be bicause they passe the degree, doe rather provoke laughter then lothsomnesse. Those feat lyes now that come so well to pourpose, how they provoke laughter ye all knowe. And that friend of oures that suffreth us not to wante, within these fewe dayes rehersed one to me that was very excellent.
| Feat lyes.
Polonia. Muscovia. Boristhenes. |
Tell it us, quoth the Dutchesse.
The L. Julian said smilinge: This merchaunt man (as he saith) beeinge upon a time in Polonia, determined to buie a quantitie of Sables, mindinge to bringe them into Italy and to gaigne greatly by them. And after much practisinge in the matter, where he could not himselfe go into Moscovia bicause of the warr beetweene the kynge of Polonia and the Duke of Moscovia, he tooke order by the meane of some of the Countrey that upon a day apointed certein merchaunt men of Moscovia shoulde come with their Sables into the borders of Polonia, and he promysed also to be there himselfe to bargaine with them. This merchaunt man of Luca travailing then with his companie toward Moscovia arrived at the river of Boristhenes, which he found hard frosen like a marble stone, and saw the Moscovites, which for suspicion of warr were in doubt of the Polakes, were on the other side, and neerer cam not than the breadth of the river. So after they knewe the one the other, makinge certein signes, the Moscovites beegan to speake aloud and toulde the price how they would sell their Sables, but the colde was so extreme, that they were not understood, bicause the woordes beefore they cam on the other syde where thys merchaunt of Luca was and his interpreters, were congeled in the aere and there remayned frosen and stopped. So that the Polakes that knew the maner, made no more adoe but kindled a great fire in the middest of the river (for to their seeminge that was the point wherto the voice came hott beefore the frost tooke it) and the river was so thicke frosen that it did well beare the fire. When they had thus done the wordes that for space of an houre had bin frosen beegan to thawe and cam doun, making a noyse as doeth the snow from the mounteignes in Maye, and so immediatlye they were well understood, but the men on the other side were first departed, and bicause he thought that those woordes asked to great a price for Sables, he woulde not bargaine, and so cam awaye without.
Then laughed all. And M.
Bernarde: Truelye
(quoth he) thys that I wyll tell you is not so subtill,
yet it is a pretye matter, and this it is. Where talke
was a fewe dayes ago of the countrey or world newly
founde out by the mariners of Portugal, and of straunge beastes and
other matters brought from thens, that friend
I toulde you of, affirmed that he had seene an Ape,
To lose at chestes vexeth men.
verie divers in shape from such as we are accustomed to
see, that played excellently well at Chestes. And emong
other times upon a day beefore the king of Portugal the
Gentilman that brought herr played as Chestes with herr,
where the Ape showed some draughtes very suttill, so that
she put him to his shiftes, at length she gave him Checkemate. Upon
this the gentilman beeinge somwhat vexed (as
communlie they are all that lose at that game) tooke the
kinge in his hande whiche was good and bigg (as the facion
is emonge the Portugalles) and reached the Ape a great
knocke on the heade. She furthwith leaped aside
complayning greatly, and seemed to require justice at the
kinges handes for the wrong done her. The gentilman
afterward called her to play with him again, the whiche
with signes she refused a while, but at last was contented to
play an other game, and as she had done the other time
beefore, so did she now drive him to a narrow point. In
conclusion: the Ape perceivinge she could give the gentilman
the mate, thought with a newe divise she would be sure
to escape without any mo knockes, and privilie conveyed
her right hande without makinge semblant what her entent
was, under the gentilmans left elbowe, leaning for pleaser
upon a litle taffata coushin, and snatchinge it slightlie
awaye, at one instant gave him with her left hande a mate
with a paune, and with her right hande caste the coushin
upon her heade to save her from strokes, then she made
a gamboll beefore the king joifully, in token (as it were)
of her victory. Now we see whether this Ape were not wise,
circumspect and of a good understanding.
An ape plaied at chestes.
Then spake the L. Cesar Gonzaga: It must needes be that this ape was a Doctour emong other Apes and of much authoritie: and I beleave the commune weale of the Apes of India sent her into Portugall to gete a name in a straunge countrey.
At this every manne laughed, both for the lye and for the addition mande to it by the L. Cesar.
So proceadinge on in his talke M. Bernarde said: You have understoode therfore what Jestes are that be of effect and communication without interruption asmuche as cummeth to mynde: therfore it shall be well nowe we speake of such as consist in one saying alone, and have a quicke sharpenesse that lyeth breefly in a sentence or in a word. And even as in the first kind of meerie talke a man must in his protestacion and counterfeitinge take heede that he be not like commune jesters and parasites, and such as with fonde matters move menne to laughe, so in this breef kinde the Courtier must be circumspect that he appeere not malitious and venimous and speake tauntes and quippies only for spite and to touch the quick, bicause such men often times for offence of the tunge are chastised in the wholl body. Of those readie Jestes therfore that consist in a short sayinge, such are most livelie that arrise of doubtfulnesse, though alwais they provoke not laughing, for they be rather praised for wittie, then for matters of laughter.
Come pochi di sono disse' il
nostro M. Anniball Palleotto
ad uno che' li proponea un maestro per insegnare' Grammatica
a suoi figliuoli, et poi che' gliel hebbe' laudato per
molto dotto, venendo al salario, disse' che' oltre' ai danari
volea una camera fornita per habitare e dormire, perche'
Mattonato Matto nato
esso non havea letto. Allhor M. Anniball subito rispose',
e come' puo egli esser dotto se non ha letto?
These two examples are put in Italian,
bicause they have no grace in
the English tunge by reason of the doubtfulnesse of the woordes that
may be taken two sundry wayes: yet is the English as plentifull of
these jestes as any other tunge, wherin Syr Thomas Moore excelled in
our time.
A paviment.
A naturall foole.
See howe well he tooke avauntage at the diverse signification of Haver letto (which is interpreted both to have a bed and to have read). But bicause these doubtfull woordes have a pretie sharpenesse of witt in them, beeing taken in a contrarie signification to that al other men take them, it appeereth (as I have said) that they rather provoke a manne to wondre then to laughe, except whan they be joyned with other kindes of sayinges. The kinde therfore of wittie sayinges that is most used to make men laughe, is whan we give eare to heare one thinge, and he that maketh answere, speaketh an other and is alleaged contrarye to expectacion, and in case a doubt be annexed therwithall, then is it verie wittie and pleasant.
Come' laltr' hieri disputandosi di far un bel mattonato nel camerino della S. Duchessa, dopo molte' parole Voi M. Jo. Christofero diceste, Se' noi potessimo havere' il vescovo do Potentia, e farlo ben Spianare, saria molto a proposito, perche egli e' il piu bel matto nato ch'io vedessi mai. Ogn'un rise molto, perche' dividendo quella parola matto nato faceste' lo ambiguo, poi dicendo che' Si havesse a spianare' un vescovo e metterlo per pavimento d'un camerino fu fuor d'opinione' di chi ascoltava, cosi riusci il motto argutissimo e risibile.
But of doubtfull woordes there
be manie sortes, therfore
must a man be circumspect and chouse out termes verie
artificiallye, and leave oute suche as make the Jest colde,
and that a man would weene were haled by the heare, or
Catullus answere to Philippus. To chaunge a letter or sillable. Virgil.
elles (as we have saide) that have to much bitternesse in
them. As certeine companions beeinge in a friendes house
of theirs, who had but one eye, after he had desired the
company to tarye dinner with him, they departed all saving
one, that said: And I am well pleased to tarye, for I see a
voide roume for one, and so with his fingre poyncted to the
hole where his eye had bine. See howe bytter and discourtious this is
passynge measure, for he nipped him
without a cause and wythout beeinge first pricked himselfe:
and he saide the thynge that a man might speake against
blinde men. Suche generall matters delyte not, bicause it
appeereth they are thought upon of pourpose. And after
thys sorte was the saiynge to one wythout a nose: And
where doest thou fasten thy spectacles? Or, wherewithall
doest thou smell roses at the time of the yere? But emong
other meerie saiynges, they have a verie good grace that
arryse whan a man at the nippynge talke of his felowe
taketh the verye same woodes in the self same sence, and
retourneth them backe agayne pryckynge hym wyth hys
owne weapon. As an attourney in the lawe, unto whom in
the presence of the judge his adversarye saide, What barkeste
Jestes that are to nipping.
thou? furthwyth he answered: bycause I see a thief. And
of this sorte was also, whan Galeotto of Narni passyng
throughe Siena stayed in a streete to enquire for an ynn,
and a Senese Seeinge hym so corpulente as he was, saide
laughinge: Other menne carye their bougettes beehynde
them, and this good felowe caryeth his beefore him.
Galeotto answered immediatlye: So must menne do in the
Countrey of theeves. There is yet another sorte called in
Italian Bischizzi, and that consisteth in chaungynge or
encreasinge, or diminisshinge of a letter or syllable. As he
that saide: Thou shouldest be better learned in the Latrine
tunge then in the Greeke. And to you (madam) was written in the
superscription of a letter, To the Ladye
Emilia Impia. It is also a meerye divise to mingle together
a verse or mo, takyng it in an other meeninge then the
Author doeth, or some other commune sayinge. Sometyme
in the verye same meanynge, but altringe a woorde, as a
Gentilman said that had a foule and scoulinge wief: whan
he was asked the question how he dyd, answered: Thynke
thou thy selfe, for Furiarum maxima juxta me cubat. And
M. Hierom Donato goynge a vistinge the Stacions of
Roome in Lente, in companye wyth manye other Gentilmen, mett with a
knott of faire Romaine Ladies, and whan
one of those gentilmen had said:
To nicke a man with his owne woordes.
The vii. churches of Roome.
by and by he added:
showinge a rout of yonge menne
that came on the other
To allude to names. Dooble signification of Officium. Countes taken here both for respectes or
causes and also for Erles. Contrary woordes. To enterpret otherwise then a man meaneth. Cosimo de Medici. The Lorde Marcus Anthonius Columna. Gein Ottomani.
side. And Marcantonio della Torre sayde after the maner
to the Byshoppe of Padoa: Where there was a Nounrye
in Padoa under the charge of a religious person muche
esteamed for hys good lye and learnynge, yt happened that
thys father hauntinge much to the Nounrye verie familiarlie,
and confessynge often the Sisters, beegat five of them with
chylde, where there were not passinge five mo in all. And
whan the matter was knowen, the father would have fled,
and wist not how. The bishoppe caused him to be apprehended,
and upon that, he confessed that he had gotten those five Nounnes with
childe through the temptacion of
the Dyvell, so that the Bishoppe was fullye bent to chastice
him sore. And bicause this man was learned, he had manye
friendes, which altogether assayed to helpe him, and emonge
the rest there went also M. Marcantonio to entreate for
him. The Bishoppe would in no wise give eare to them.
At length they beynge instant upon him and commending
the gyltie, and excusinge him throughe the commoditie of
place, frailtye of manne and manie other causes, the Bishop
said: I will do nothing for you, bicause I must make accompt
unto God of this. And whan they had replyed again, the
Bishop said: What answere shall I make unto God at the day
of judgement, whan He shall say unto me Redde' Rationem
villicationis tue? M. Marcantonio answered him immediatly:
Ovid. Of wanton dames Roome hath like store,
As sterres be in the skie.
As many boyes preservde for love, As Kiddes in pastures lie.
Mary my lord the verie same that the Gospell sayth: Dominé
quinque talenta traddisti mihi, ecce alia quinque superlucratus
sum. Then could not the Bishoppe absteine laughing and
he asswaged much his anger and the punishemente that he
had ordeined for the offender. It is likewise verie pretie
to allude to names and to feine somwhat, for that he the
talke is of, is so called, or els bicause he doeth some such
thinge. As not longe sins Proto da Luca (which as you
know is one meerelie disposed) asking the Bishopprike
of Calio, the Pope answered him: Doest thou not knowe
that Calio, in the Spanishe tunge is as muche to say as,
I houlde my Peace, and thou art a great prater? Therfore
it were unfittinge for a Bishoppe at any time in naminge
his title to make alye, now Calia, houlde thy peace
then. To this Proto gave an answere, the which although
it were not in this sorte yet was it no lesse pretie then
this. For after he had often put him in remembrance of
this his suite and sawe it take none effect, at last he said:
Yelde an accompt of thy husbandrie.
Lord, thou deliveredst into me v. talentes, beholde I have gained v. mo.
Holye father, in case youre holynesse do give me this bisshoppricke, yt
shal not be without a profit to you, for then
will I surrender two offices into your handes. And what
offices hast thou to surrender into my handes? quoth the
Pope. Proto answered: I shall surrender unto you Officium
principale, and Officium beatæ Mariæ. Then
coulde not
the Pope though he were a verye grave person, absteine
from laughinge. An other also in Padoa said Calphurnius
was so named, bicause he was wont to heate fourneyses. And
upon a day whan I asked Phedra how it happeneth, where
prayer is made in the Church upon goodfridaye not onlie for
Chrystyans, but also for Paganes and for Jewes, there was no
mention made of the Cardinalles, as there was of Bishops
and other prelates. He answered me, that the Cardinalles
were conteined in the Collet, Oremus pro hæticis et
Schismaticis. And oure Count Lewis saide that I reprehended a
ladie of love for occupyinge a certein kinde of lye that shined
muche, bicause whan she was trimmed therwithall, I might
see my selfe in her face, and for that I was yll favoured I
coulde not abyde to looke upon my selfe. In this maner
was that M. Camillo Paleotto saide unto M. Anthonio
Porcaro, whiche reasoninge of a companion of his that
under confessyon had sayde unto the Priest that he
fasted with all his harte, and went to Masse and to holye
service and did all the good deedes in the worlde, said:
This felowe in stead of accusynge prayseth hym self.
Unto whom M. Camillo answered: Nay, he rather
confesseth himself of these matters, bicause he reckeneth the
doinge of them great sinn. Do you not remember how
well the L. Generall said the last daye, whan Johnthomas
Galeotto wondred at one that demaunded two hundreth
Ducates for a horse? for whan Johnthomas saide that he
was not worth a farthing, bicause emong other yll properties
he had, he could not abide weapons, neyther was it possible
to make him come nighe where he sawe anye, the L.
Generall said (willing to reprehende him of cowardise): Yf
the horse hath this propertie that he can not abide weapons,
I marveile he asketh not a thousand Ducates. Also sometime
a man speaketh the verie same woord, but to another
ende then the commune use is. As, whan the Duke was
passing over a very swift river, he said to the trompetter:
Goo on. The trumpetter tourned him backe with his cappe
in his hande and after a reverent maner, saide: It shalbe
youres my lorde. It is also a pleasant maner of jestinge,
whan a man seemeth to take the woordes and not the
meaninge of him that speaketh. As this yeere a Dutch man in
Roome meetinge in an Eveninge oure M. Philipp Beroaldo
whose Scholar he was, said unto him: Dominé magister,
Deus det vobis bonum sero. And Beroaldo answered incontinently: Tibi
malum cito. And Diego Dé Chignognes
Dooble signification of Calio.
beeinge at table with the Great Capitain, whan an other
Spaniarde that satt there had saide, Vino dios (calling
for wine) Diego answered hym again: Vino, y nolo conocistes,
to nip him for a marrané. Also M. James Sadoleto
said unto Beroaldo, that had tould him how he wold in
any wise go to Bolonia: What is the cause that maketh
you thus to leave Roome where there are so manie pleasures, to go to
Bolonia full of disquietnesse? Beroaldo
answered: I am forced to go to Bolonia for three Countes.
And nowe he had lifte up three fingers of hys left hande
to alleage three causes of his goynge, whan M. James
sodeinlye interrupted hym and said: The three countes
that make you goe to Bolonia are, Count Lewis da San
Bifacio, Count Hercules Rangon and the Count of Pepoli.
Then they all laughed bicause these three Countes had
bine Beroaldoes Scholers and were propre yonge menne and
applyed their studie in Bolonia. This kinde of meerye
jestinge therfore maketh a man laughe muche, bicause it
bryngeth wyth it other maner answeres then a manne
looketh for to heare: and oure owne errour doeth naturallye
delite us in these matters, whyche whan it deceyveth us of
that we looke for, we laughe at it. But the termes of
speache and fygures that have anye grace and grave talke,
are likewise (in a maner) alwayes comelye in Jestes and
meerye pleasantnesse. See how woordes placed contrarywyse
give a great ornament, whan a contrarye clause is sett
agaynste another. The same maner is often times verye
meerye and pleasant. As a Genuesé that was verye
prodigall and lavysh in hys expences beeinge reprehended
by a usurer, who was most covetous, that said unto him:
And whan wilt thou leave castynge away thy substance?
Then he answered: Whan thou leavest stealinge of other
mens. And bicause (as we have alreadie said) from the
places that we derive Jestes from, that touch a manne, we
may manie times from the verie same take grave sentences
to prayse and commende, it is a verye comelye and honest
maner both for the one and the other pourpose, whan a
man consenteth to and confirmeth the selfe same thinge
that the other speaketh, but interpreteth it otherwise then
he meaneth. As within these fewe dayes a Priest of the
Countrey sayinge Masse to his parishioners, after he had
toulde them what holye dayes they shoulde have that weeke,
he beegane the generall confession in the name of all the
people, and sayde: I have synned in yll dooynge, in yll
speakynge, in yll thynkynge, and the rest that foloweth,
makynge mention of all the deadlye sinnes. Then a
Gossippe of his and one that was verye familiar wyth the
Priest to sporte with hym, saide to the standers bye: Beare
recorde, Sirs, what he confesseth with hys owne mouth he
hath done, for I entende to present him to the Bishoppe for
it. The verye same maner used Salazza della Pedrata to
hounoure a Ladye of love wythall. With whome entringe in
talke, after he had praysed herr beeside her vertuous
qualities for her beawtie also, she answered him that she
deserveth not that praise, bicause she was now well striken
in yeeres. And he then said to her: That is in you of age,
is nothing elles but to liken you unto the aungelles, whiche
were the firste and are the auntientest creatures that ever
God made. Also meerie sayinges are muche to the pourpose
to nippe a man, aswell as grave sayinges to praise one, so
the metaphors be well applyed, and especiallye yf they be
answered, and he that maketh answere continue in the self
same metaphor spoken by the other. And in this sorte was
Ferdinando Gonsalvo.
Note here the dooble signification of Vino. Diego tooke it not
for wine but for, God came, He came indeed (quoth Diego, meninge it by
Christe) and thou knewest him not: wherby he signified to the hearers
that Spaniarde to be of the beleaf that Christ is not yet come.
answered to M. Palla Strozzi, whiche banished out of Florence,
and sendinge thither one of his about certein affaires, said
unto him after a threatninge maner: Tell Cosmus de Medicis
in my name that The henn sitteth abroodé. The
messenger did the errand to him, as he was wylled. And
Cosmus without any more deliberacion, answered him
immediatlye: Tell M. Palla in my name again, that
Hennes can full yll sitt abroodé out of the nest. With
a metaphor also M. Camillo Porcaro commended honorablye the Lorde
Marcantonio Colonna, who understandynge that M. Camillo in an Oration
of hys had extolled
certein noble men of Italy that were famous in marcial
prowesse, and emonge the rest had made most honorable
mention of him, after rendringe due thankes, he said to him:
You (M. Camillo) have done by your friendes as some
merchaunt men play by their money, which findinge a
counterfeit Ducat, to dispatch him away, cast him into a heape of
good ones and so uttre him: even so you, to honour me
withall, where I am little woorth, have sett me in company
with so excellent and vertuous personages, that through
their prowesse, I may peraventure passe for a good one.
Then M. Camillo made answere: They that use to counterfeit Ducates,
gylte them so that they seeme to the
eye much better then the good: therfore if there were to be
founde counterfeiters of menne, as there be of Ducates, a
man might have a juste cause to suspect you were false,
beeinge (as you are) of much more faire and brighter mettall
then any of the rest. You may see that this place is
commune both for the one and the other kinde of Jestes,
and so are manie mo, of the which a man might geve infinite
examples, and especially in grave sayinges. As the great
Capitain saide, whiche (beeinge sett at table and everye
roume filled) save two Italian Gentilmen standinge bye
that had done him verye good service in the warr, sodainly
he start up and made all the rest to arrise to give place
to these two, and said: Make roume Sirs for
these gentilmen to sitt at their meat, for had they not bine we
should not have had now wherwithall to feade our selves.
He saide also to Diego Garzia that perswaded hym to remove
out of a dangerous place that lay open upon gunnshott:
Palla Strozzi.
Sins God hath not put feare into your mynd, put not you
it into myne. And kinge Lewis, which is nowe Frenche
kinge, where it was saide unto him soone after his creation,
that then was the time to be even with his enemies that had
done him so much injurye while he was Duke of Orleans.
He made answere: That the French kinge hath nothing
ado to revenge the wronges done to the Duke of Orleans.
A man toucheth also in Jest manye times with a certein
gravitie without moving a man to laughe. As Gein
Ottomani brother to the great Turke, whan he was
prisoner in Roome, he said: Justinge (as we used it in
Italye) seemed to him overgreat a daliaunce, and a tryfle to
that should be in deede. And he said, whan it was tould him that kinge
Ferdinande the yonger was nimble and
quycke of person in renning, leapinge, vautynge and suche
matters, in his country slaves used these exercises, but great men
learned from their childhood liberalitie and were
renowmed for that. And in a maner after the same sort,
savinge it had a litle more matter to laughe at, was that the
archbishopp of Florence said unto Cardinal Alexandrino:
That men have nothinge but Substance, a body and a soul:
their Substance is at Lawyars disposynge, their Bodye at
Phisitiens, and their Soul at divines.
Lewis the XII.
Then answered the L. Julian: A man might ad unto this the saiynge of Nicholetto: which is, that it is seldome seene a Lawyer to go to lawe, nor a Phisitien take medicin, nor a divine a good Christian.
M. Bernarde
laughed, then he
proceaded: of this there be infinite examples spoken by great Princes
and verie grave
men. But a man laugheth also manye times at
comparasons. As oure Pistoia wrott unto Seraphin: I sende thee
backe again thy great male whiche is like thy self. If ye
remember well Seraphin was muche like a male. Again,
there be some that have a pastime to liken menne and
women to horses, to dogges, to birdes, and often times to
coffers, to stooles, to cartes, to candelstickes, which somtime
hath a good grace and otherwhile verye stale. Therfore
in this point a man must consider the place, the time, the
persones, and the other thinges we have so manie times
spoken of.
Comparasons.
Then spake the L. Gaspar Pallavicin: The comparason that the L. John Gonzaga made of Alexander the Great to M. Aleaxander his son, was verye pleasant.
I wote not what it was, answered M. Bernarde.
The L. Gaspar said: The L. John was playinge at dice (as his use is) and had lost a numbre of Ducates and was still on the losing hande, and M. Alexander his sonn, which for all he is a childe delyteth no lesse in playe then his father, stoode verie still to beehould him and seemed verye sad. The Count of Pianella, that was there present with manye other Gentilmen, said: See (my Lorde) M. Alexander is verie heavie for youre losse, and his hert panteth waytinge whan lucke will come to you that he may gete some of your winninges: therfore rid him of this griefe, and beefore ye lose the rest, gyve hym at the least one Ducat that he maye goe playe him too, emonge hys companyons. Then sayde the L. John: You are deceyved, for Alexander thynketh not upon suche a trifle, but as it is wrytten of Alexander the great, while he was a childe, understandinge that Philipp his father had dyscomfited a great armie, and conquered a certein kingdome, he fell in weepinge, and whan he was asked the question whye he wept, he answered, bicause he doubted that his father would conquerr so manye Countryes, that he should have none left for him to conquerr: even so nowe Alexander my sonne is sorye and readye to weepe in seeinge me his father lose, bycause he doubteth that I shall lose so much, that I shall leave him nothinge at all to lose.
Whan they had a whyle laughed
at this M. Bernarde
wente forwarde: A man must take heede also his jestynge
be not wicked, and that the matter extende not (to appeere
quycwitted) to blasphemye, and studye therin to invent
newe wayes: least herein, where a manne deserveth not
Filthy and baudie in persons talke.
onelye blame, but also sharpe punishment, he should appeere
to seke a praise, which is an abhominable matter. And
therfore suche as these be, that goe about to shew their
pregnant witt wyth small reverence to Godward, deserve to
be excluded out of everye Gentylmans companye. And no
lesse, they that be filthye and bawdye in talke, and that in
the presence of women have no maner respect, and seeme to
take none other delite but to make women blushe for shame,
and upon thys goe seekynge oute meerye and jestynge
woordes. As thys yeere in Ferrara at a banckett in
presence of manye Ladyes there was a Florentine and a Senese,
whiche for the moste parte (as you knowe) are ennemies
together. The Senese sayd to nipp the Florentine: We have
maryed Siena to the Emperour and given him Florence in
dowerye. And this he spake bicause the talke was abrode
in those dayes, that the Senes had given a certein quantitie
of money to the Emperour, and he tooke the protection
of them upon him. The Florentine answered immediatlye:
But Siena shalbe first ridden (after the Frenche phrase, but
he spake the Italian worde) and then the dowerye
afterward be pleaded for at good leyser. You may see the
taunt was wittie, but bicause it was in presence of women
it appeered bawdie and not to be spoken.
Blasphemye.
Then spake the L. Gaspar Pallavicin: Women have none other delite but to heare of such matters, and yet will you deprive them of it. And as for my part I have bine ready to blushe for shame at woordes which women have spoken to me oftener then men.
And I speake not of such women as these be, quoth M. Bernarde, but of the vertuous that deserve to be reverenced and honoured of all gentilmen.
The L. Gaspar saide: It were good we might finde out some pretie rule howe to knowe them, bicause moste communlie the best in apparance are cleane contrarye in effect.
The said M. Bernarde smylinge: Were not the L. Julian here present that in everye place is counted the protectour of women, I woulde take upon me to answere you, but I will take his offyce from him.
Here the L. Emilia in like maner smilinge, said: Women neede no defendoure againste an accuser of so small authoritie. Therefore let the L. Gaspar alone in this his froward opinion, risen more bicause he could never finde woman that was willynge to loke upon him, then for anye want that is in women, and proceade you in youre communication of Jestes.
Then M. Bernarde: Trulye mandam
(quoth he) me thinke
I have named unto you manie places, out of the which a
man may pike pleasant and wittie sayinges, which afterward
have so much the more grace, as they are set furth with a
comelie protestacion. Yet may there be alleaged manie
other also, as whan to encrease or diminish, thinges be
spoken that uncrediblye passe the likelihoode of truth.
And of this sort was that Marius da Volterra said by a prelate that
thought himselfe so taule a person, that as he
went into Saint Peters, he stowped for hittinge his heade
againste the greate beame over the porche. Also the
L. Julian here saide that Golpino hys servaunte was so
leane and drie, that in a morning as he was blowing the
fire to kendle it, the smoke bore him up the chimney
unto the tonnell, and had gone awaye with him had he
not stooke on crosse at one of the holes above. And M.
Augustin Bevazzano toulde, that a covetous manne whiche
woulde not sell hys corne while it was at a highe price,
whan he sawe afterwarde it had a great falle, for desperacion
he hanged himself upon a beame in his chamber,
and a servaunt of his hearing the noise, made speede, and
seeing his maister hang, furthwith cut in sunder the
rope and so saved him from death: afterwarde whan the
covetous man came to himselfe, he woulde have had hys
servaunt to have paide him for his halter that he had cut.
Of this sort appeareth to be also that Laurence de Medicis
said unto a colde jester: Thou shouldest not make me
laugh if thou ticklidest me. The like he answered unto
an other foolishe person, who in a morninge had founde him
in bed verie late and blamed him for sleeping somuche,
sayinge unto him: I have now bine in the new and olde
markett place, afterward I went oute at the gate of San
Gallo to walke about the walles, and have done a thousande
other matters, and you are yet in bed. Then said Laurence:
That I have dreamed in one houre is more woorth, then
al that you have done in foure. It is also pretie whan
one reprehendeth a thinge which a man would not thinke
he minded to reprehende. As the marquesse Friderick
of Mantua oure Dutchesse father, beeinge at table wyth
manye gentilmen, one of them after he had eaten up his dishe of broth,
said: By your leave my L. marquesse.
And whan he had so said, be beegane to suppe up the
rest that remayned in the dishe. Then said the marquesse
by and by: Aske leave of the swyne, for thou doest me no
wronge at all. Also M. Nicholas Leonicus said, to touch
a noble manne that was falsely reported to be liberall:
Gesse you what liberalitye is in him that doeth not onlye
A semblant of laughing. With a certein gravitie. A matter that seemeth foolishe. Alamanni. Dame aske. This letter be geven to the cause of my
griefe. Familiar admonition in maner of counsell. That seeme to agree. That agree not. The Rota in Roome is suche an other matter as
the Court of the Arches in England. A contrarye answere. A paltockis ynn.
geve awaye hys owne good but other mens also. That is
in like maner an honest and comelie kinde of jesting that
consisteth in a certein dissimulacion, whan a man speaketh
one thinge and privilie meaneth another. I speake not
of the maner that is cleane contrarye, as if one shoulde
call a dwarf a giaunt: and a blacke man, white: or one
most ilfavoured beawtifull, bicause they be to open contraries,
although otherwhile also they stirr a man to laughe.
But whan with a grave and drie speache in sportinge a
a man speaketh pleasantlie that he hath not in his minde.
As whan a gentilman tould M. Augustin Folietta a loude
lye and earnestlye did affirme it, bicause he thought he
scase beleaved it. At laste M. Augustin said: Gentilman,
if you will ever do me pleaser, be so good to me as to
quiet your selfe in case I do not beleave anye thinge you
saye. Yet whan he replied again and bound it with an
othe to be true, at lengthe he saide: Sins you wyll have
me, I am content to beleave it for your sake, for to saye
the trueth I would do a greater thinge for you then this
commeth to. In a maner after the same sorte Don Giovanni
di Cardona said of one that woulde forsake Rome:
In mine opinion thys felowe is yll advysed, for he is so
wicked that in abidinge in Rome it maye be his chaunce
in time to be made a Cardinall. Of this sorte is also
that Alphonsus Santacroce said, whiche a litle beefore
havinge certein injuries done him by the Cardinall of Pavia,
and walking without Bolonia with certein Gentilmen nighe
unto the place of execution, and seeinge one newlye hanged
there, tourned him that waye with a certein heavie looke
and said so loude that every man might heare him:
Thou art a happie man that hast nothinge adoo with the
Cardinal of Pavia. And the kinde of jestinge that is
somewhat grounded upon scoffinge seemeth verie meete for
Dissimulacion.
great men, bicause it is grave and wittie and may be
used both in sportynge matters and also in grave. Therfore dyd manye of
olde time and menne of best
estimatyon use it: as Cato, Scipio Affricanus minor. But
above all they saye Socrates the Philosopher excelled in it.
And in oure time Kynge Alphonsus the first of Aragon:
which upon a time as he went to diner tooke manye ryche
jewelles from his fingers, for wetting them in washing hys
handes, and so gave them to him that stoode nexte him as
thoughe he had not minded who it was. This servaunt had
thought sure the king marked not to whom he gave them,
and bicause his heade was busied with more waightie affaires,
wold soone forgete them cleane, and therof he tooke the
more assurance, whan he sawe the kinge asked not for them
again. And whan the matter was passed certein dayes,
wekes and monthes without hearinge anye woord of it, he
thought surelye he was safe. And so about the yeeres end
after this matter had happened, an other time as the kinge
was in like maner going to diner, he stepped furth and put
out his hande to take the kinges ringes. Then the kinge
rounding him in the eare, said: The first is well for thee,
these shall be good for an other. See this taunt how
pleasant, wittie and grave it is, and woorthie in verie deede
for the noble courage of an Alexander. Like unto this
Jestinge grounded upon scoffing meete for
great men.
maner grounded upon scoffinge there is also an other kinde,
whan with honest woordes, a man nameth a vitious matter
or a thinge that deserveth blame. As the great Capitain
said unto a Gentilman of hys, that after the journey of
Cirignola and whan all thinges were alreadye in safetye,
mett him as richelye armed as might be, readye to fight.
Then the great Capitain tourninge to him Don Ugo di
Cardona, saide: Feare ye not now any more Sea tempest, for
Saint Hermus hath appeered. And wyth thys honeste
woorde he gave him a nicke. Bicause you knowe Saint
Hermus doeth alwayes appeer unto Mariners after a tempeste and gyveth a
token of calme. And the meaning of
the great capitain was, that whan this gentilman appeered
it was a signe that daunger was alreadye cleane past. Again
M. Octavian Ubaldino beeinge in Florence in Companye wyth
certein of the best Citizins and reasonynge together of
souldiers, one of them asked him whether he knewe Antonello
da Forli whiche was then fled out of the state of Florence.
M. Octavian answered: I have no great knowledge of him,
but I have heard him alwaies reported to be a quick souldier.
Then said an other Florentin: it appeereth he is quicke,
for he taried not so longe as to aske leave to depart. They
be also pretie tauntes whan a man of the verie communication
of his felowe taketh that he would not, and my
meaning is in that sort, as our Duke answered the Capitain
that lost Saint Leo. Whan this state was taken by Pope
Alexander and given to Duke Valentin, the Duke beeing in
Venice at that time I speake of, manie of his subjectes came
continually to give him secret information how the matters
of state passed, and emonge the rest, thither came also this
To name an yll thing with honest woordes.
Frumpes.
Capitain, whiche after he had excused himselfe the best he
coulde, laiynge the fault in his unluckinesse, he saide: My
Lorde doubt ye not, my hart serveth me yet to woorke a
meane that Saint Leo may be recovered again. Then
answered the Duke: Trouble not thy self any more about
that, for in losing it thou haste wrought a meane that it
may be recovered again. Certein other sayinges there are
whan a man that is knowen to be wittie speaketh a matter,
that seemeth to proceede of folye. As the last day M.
Camillo Paleotto said by one: That foole, assoone as he
beegane to wexe riche, died. There is like unto this maner
a certein wittie and kinde dissimulacion, whan a man (as I
have said) that is wise maketh semblant not to understande
that he doth understande. As the marquesse Friderick of
Mantua, which beeing sued to by a prating felow that
complained upon certein of his neighbours takinge the
Pigions of his Dovehouse with snares, and helde one
continuallye in his hande hanging by the foote in a snare,
which he had founde so dead, he answered him that there
should be a remedye for it. This felowe never satisfied, not
Pope Alexander VI. usurped the dukedome of
Urbin and gave it to hys
sonne Cesar Borgia, comunlye called Duca Valentino.
once but manye a time repeted unto him his losse, showinge
alwaies the Pigion so hanged, and saide still: But I besech
you, howe thinke ye (my Lorde) what should a man do in
this matter? The marquesse at length said: By mine advise
the Pigeon ought in no wise to be buried in the Church, for
sins he hath so hanged himself, it is to be thought that he
was desperat. In a maner after the same sorte was that
Scipio Nascia said unto Ennius. For whan Scipio went unto
Ennius house to speake with him and called to him in the
streete, a maiden of his made him answere that he was not
at home. And Scipio heard plainlye Ennius himselfe saye
unto his mayden to tell hym that he was not at home, so he
departed. Within a while after Ennius came unto Scipioes
house, and so likewise stoode beneethe and called him.
Unto whom Scipio himselfe with a loude voice made answere
that he was not at home. Then said Ennius: What, do not I knowe thy
voice? Scipio answered: Thou hast smalle
Courteysie in thee, the last day I beleaved thy maiden
thou waste not at home, and now wilt not thou beleave
Dessimulacion.
me my selfe? It is also pretie whan one is touched in the
verie same matter that he hath first touched his felowe.
As Alonso Carillo beeinge in the Spanishe Court and
havynge committed certein youthfull partes that were of no
great importance, was by the kinges commaundement caried
to prison, and there abode for one night. The next day he
was taken out again, and whan he came to the Palaice in
the morninge, he entred into the chamber of presence that
was full of gentilmen and Ladies, and jestynge together at
this his imprisonment, maistresse Boadilla said: M. Alonso,
I tooke great thought for this mishap of yours, for al that
knew you were in feare least the kinge wold have hanged you. Then said
immediatlye Alonso: Indeede maistresse,
I was in doubte of the matter my selfe to, but yet I had
a good hope that you would have begged me for your
husbande. See howe sharpe and wittie this is. Bicause in
Spaine (as in many other places also) the maner is, whan a
manne is lead to execution, if a commune harlot will aske
him for her husbande, it saveth his life. In this maner
also did Raphael the peincter answere two Cardinalles (with
whom he might be familiar) which to make him talke,
found fault in his hearinge with a table he had made, where
Saint Peter and Saint Paul were: saiynge, that those twoo
To touche in the same matter a man is
touched.
pictures were to red in the face. Then said Raphael by
and by: My lordes, wonder you not at it, for I have made
them so for the nones, bicause it is to be thought that Saint
Peter and Saint Paul are even as red in heaven as you see
them here, for verie shame that their Churche is goverened
by such men as you be. Also those Jestes are pleasant, that
have in them a certein privie semblant of laughter. As whan a husband
lamented much and bewayled his wief that
had hanged her selfe upon a figgtree, an other came to him and
pluckynge him by the slieve, said, Friend, may I receive
such pleaser as to have a graff of that figgtree to graff in
some stocke of my Orcharde? There be certein other
Jestes that be pacient and spoken softlie with a kinde of
gravitie. As a man of the Countrye caryinge a coffer upon
his shoulders, chaunced therwithall to gyve Cato a harde
pushe, and afterward said: Give roume. Cato answered:
Haste thou anye thinge upon thy shoulders beeside that
coffer? It is also a matter of laughter whan a man hath
committed an errour and to amend it speaketh a matter
pourposelye that appeereth foolishe, and yet is applyed
to the ende that he hath appointed, and serveth hys tourne
therwithall that he seeme not oute of countenaunce and
dismayed. As not longe sins two ennemies beeinge together
in the Counsell chamber of Florence (as it happeneth often
in those Commune weales) the one of them, which was of
the house of Altoviti, slept, and he that satt next unto him
for a sporte, where his adversarye that was of the house of
Alamanni, had said nothinge neyther then nor beefore,
The maner of Spaine.
stirringe him wyth his elbowe made him awake, and saide
unto him: Hearest thou not what such a one saith? Make
answere, for the Lordes aske for thine advise. Then did
Altoviti all sleepie arrise upon his feete and without anye
more deliberation said: My Lordes, I say the cleane
contrarye to that Alamanni hath spoken. Alamanni answered:
What? I have said nothinge. Altoviti said immediatlye:
To that thou wilt speake. In this maner also did youre M.
Seraphin the Phisitien here in Urbin saye unto a manne of
the Country, which had receyved such a stroke upon the
eye, that in verie deede it was oute, yet thought he beste
to go seeke to M. Seraphin for remedie. Whan he saw it
thoughe he knewe it was past cure, yet to plucke money out
of his handes as that blowe had plucked the eye oute of his
heade, he promised him largely to heale it. And so he
was in hande with him everye day for money, puttinge him
in comforte that within sixe or seven dayes, he shoulde
beegine to see wyth it agayn. The poore countrye manne
gave him the litle he had, but whan he sawe him so prolonge
the matter, he beegane to finde himself agreeved wyth the
Physitien, and sayde that he was nothinge the better,
neyther coulde he see anye more wyth that eye, then if he
had hadd none at all in hys heade. At length M. Seraphin
perceyvynge there was no more to be gotten at hys handes,
saide: Brother myne, thou muste have pacience, thou haste
cleane lost thine eye and no remedye is there for it, praye
God thou lose not thyne other wythall. The Countrye
manne seeynge thys, fell in weepynge, and lamented muche
and saide: Mayster myne, you have pylled me and robbed
me of my money, I will complayne to the Duke, and made
the greatest outcryes in the worlde. Then sayde M. Seraphin in a rage
and to cleere hymselfe: Ah thou vyllein
knave: thou wouldest then have two eyes as Cityzins and
honest menne have, wouldest thow? Get thee hence in the
Dyvelles name. And these woordes were thruste out wyth
suche furye that the poore selie manne was dismayed, and
held his peace, and soft and faire departed in Gods name,
thinking that he himselfe had bine in the wronge. It is
also pretie whan a man declareth or enterpreteth a matter
meerilie. As in the Spanishe Court in a morning there
came into the Palaice a knight who was very ylfavoured:
and his wief, that was verie beawtifull, both apparailed
in white Damaske, and the Queene said unto Alonso Carillo:
Howe thinke ye Alonso by these two? Madam, answered
Alonso, me thnke the Ladye is the Dame, and he the aske,
which signifieth a foule person and uglesome. Also whan
Raphael de Pazzi sawe a letter that the Priour of Messina
Altoviti.
had written to a maistresse of his, the superscription whereof
was: Esta carta s'ha da dar a qui en causa mi penar, Me
thinke (quoth he) this letter is directed to Paul Tholossa.
Imagine you how the standers bye laughed at it, for they
all knew that Paul Tholossa had lent tenn thousand Ducates
to the Priour of Messina, and bicause he was verie lavishe
in his expences, he could finde no waye to paye his dett. It
is like unto this, whan a man geveth familiar admonition
in maner of counsell, but dissemblinglie. As Cosmus de
Medicis said unto a friend of his that had more riches then
wit, and by Cosmus meanes had compassed an office without
Florence, and at his settinge furthe askinge Cosmus what
way he thought best for him to take to execute this office
well: Cosmus answered him: Apparaile thy selfe in
scarlate, and speake litle. Of this sort was that Count Lewis
said unto one that woulde passe for an unknowen person in
a certein daungerous place, and wist not howe to disguise
himself, and the Count beeinge demaunded of hys advise
therin, answered: Apparaile thy selfe like a Doctour, or in some other
rayment that wise men use to weare. Also
Jannotto de Pazzi said unto one that minded to make an
armynge coat of as manye divers colours as might be invented: Take the
woordes and deedes of the Cardinall of
Pavia. A man laugheth also at certein matters disagreeinge. As one said
the last daye unto M. Antony Rizzo
of a certein Forlivese: Gesse whether he be a foole or
no, for his name is Bartholomew. And an other: Thou
To enterpret a matter meerely.
seekest a rider and hast no horses. And this man wanteth
nothinge but good and a horse. And at certein other that seeme to
agree. As within these few dayes where
there was a suspicion that a friend of oures had caused
a false advoucion of a benifice to be drawen out, afterward
whan an other Priest fell sicke, Antony Torello
saide unto him: What doest thou lingre the matter,
whie doest thou not sende for the Clerke and see
whether thou cannest hit upon this other benefyce?
Likewise at certein that doe not agree. As the last day
whan the Pope had sent for M. Johnluke of Pontremolo
and M. Dominick dalla Porta, which (as you knowe) are
both crookbacked, and made them Auditours, sayinge that
he entended to bringe the Rota into a right frame, M. Latin
Juvenal saide: Oure holie father is deceived yf he thinke
that he can bringe the Rota into a right frame with two
crooked persons. Also it provoketh laughter, whan a man
graunteth the thinge that is toulde him and more, but
seemeth to understande it otherwise. As Capitain Peralta
beeing brought into the listes to fight the combatt wyth
Aldana and Capitain Molart that was Aldanus patrine
requiringe Peralta to sweare whether he had about him any
Saint Johns Gosspell or charme and inchanmente, to preserve him from
hurt. Peralta swore that he had about
him neyther Gosspell nor inchauntment, nor relike, nor any
matter of devocion wherein he had any faith. Then said
Molart, to touch him to be a marrané: Well no mo woordes
in this, for I beleave without swearinge that you have no
faith also in Christ. It is pretie moreover to use mataphors
at a time in such pourposes. As oure M. Marcantonio that
said to Botton da Cesena, who had vexed him with woordes:
Botton, Botton, thou shalt one day be the botton, and the
halter shalbe the bottonhole. And also whan Marcantonio
had made a comedye whiche was verie longe and of sundrye
actes, the verye same Botton saide in like maner to Marcantonio:
to play youre Comedye ye shall neede for preparation
asmuche wood as in Sclavonia. M. Marcantonio answered:
And for preparation of thy Tragedie three trees is inoughe.
Again a man speaketh a word manie times wherin is a privie
signification farr from that appeereth he wold say.
As the L. Generall here being in company where there was
communication of a Capitain that in deede al his lief time
for the more part had received the overthrow, and as then
by a chaunce wann the victorie: and whan he that ministred
this talke said: Whan he made his entrie into that towne
he was apparailed in a verie faire crimosin velute coate,
which he wore alwaies after his victories. The L. Generall
said: Beelike it is verie new. And no lesse doeth it
Matters disagreeinge.
provoke laughter, whan otherwhile a man maketh answere
unto that which the other he talketh withall hath not
spoken: or els seemeth to beleave he hath done that he hath
not done, and should have done it. As Andrew Cosia, when
he went to visit a gentilman that discourtiously suffered
him to stand on his feete and he himselfe satt, saide: Sins
you commaund me, sir, to obey you I will sitt, and so satt
him downe. Also a man laugheth whan one accuseth himselfe of some
trespace. As the last daye whan I saide to
the Dukes Chapplaine, that my Lordes grace had a Chapplaine that coulde
say masse sooner then he: he answered
me, It is not possible. And roundinge me in the eare,
saide: You shall understande that I say not the third part
of the secretes. Also Biagin Crivello, when a priest was
slain at Millane, he required his benefice of the Duke, the
which he was minded to bestowe upon an other. At length
Biagin perceyvinge no other reason wold prevaile, And what
(quoth he) if I were the cause of his death, why will you
not geve me his benefice? It hath also manie times a good
grace to wish those thinges that can not be. As the last
day one of our companie beehouldinge all these Gentilmen
An answere to that a man hath not said.
here playnge at fence, and he liynge uppon a bed, said:
Oh what a pleasure it were, were this also a valiaunt mans
and a good souldiers exercise. In like maner it is a pretie
and wittie kinde of speakinge and especially in grave men
and of authoritie, to answere contrarye to that he would,
with whom he speaketh but drilie and (as it were) with a
certein doubting and heedfull consideracion. As in times
past Alphonsus the first Kinge of Aragon, gevinge unto a
servaunt of his, horse, harneis and apparaile, bicause he
toulde him how the night beefore he had dreamed that his
highnesse had given him all those kindes of matters, and not
longe after, the verie same servauntes said again how he
dreamed that night, that he had given him a good sort of
royalles, he answered him: Hensfurthe beleave dreames no
more, for they are not alwaies true. In this sort also did
the Pope answere the Bishop of Cervia, that to grope his
minde saide unto him: Holye father, it is noysed all Roome
over and in the Palice to, that your holynesse maketh me
Governour. Then answered the Pope: Let the knaves
speake what they luste, doubt you not, it is not true I warrant you. I
could (my Lordes) beeside these gather
manye other places, from whiche a manne maye dirive
meerye and pleasant Jestes, as matters spoken with feare,
wyth marveyle, with threatninges oute of order, with
overmuche furiousnesse: beesyde this, certein newlye happened
cases provoke laughter: sometime silence with a certein
wonder, at other tymes verie laughter it selfe without
pourpose: but me thinke I have nowe spoken sufficient, for the
Jestes that consiste in woordes (I beleave) passe not these
boundes we have reasoned of. As for such as be in operacion,
though there be infinite partes of them, yet are they
drawen into fewe principles. But in both kindes the chief
matter is to deceive opinion, and to answer otherwise then
the hearer loketh for: and (in case the Jest shal have any
grace) it must nedes be seasoned with this deceit, or dissimulacion, or
mockinge, or rebukinge, or comparason, or
what ever other kinde a man will use. And althoughe all
kinde of Jestes move a man to laugh, yet do they also in
this laughter make diverse effectes. For some have in them
To wish that cannot be.
a certein cleannesse and modest pleasantnesse. Other bite
sometime privily, otherwhile openlye. Other have in them
a certein wantonnesse. Other make one laughe assone as he
heareth them. Other the more a man thinketh upon them.
Other in laughinge make a man blushe withall. Other
stirr a man somewhat to angre. But in all kindes a man
must consider the disposition of the mindes of the hearers,
bicause unto persons in adversitie oftentimes meery toyes
augment their affliction: and some infirmities there be, that
the more a man occupieth medicine aboute them, the woorse
they wexe. In case therfore the Courtier in jestinge and
speakinge meerie conceytes have a respecte to the time, to
the persons, to his degree, and not use it to often (for parde
it bringeth a lothsomnesse if a man stand evermore about it,
all day in all kinde of talke and without pourpose) he maye
be called pleasant and feat conceyted. So he heedefull
also that he be not so bitter and bitinge, that a man mighte
conjecture he were an envious person in prickinge without a
cause, or for plaine malice, or men of to great authoritie
(whiche is lacke of discreation) or of to much miserie (which
is crueltye) or to mischevous (which is vanitie) or elles in
speakinge matters that may offende them whom he would
not offende (which is ignoraunce). For some there be that
thinke they are bound to speake and to nippe without
regard, as often as they can, howe ever the matter goe afterwarde.
And emonge these kinde of persons are they, that
to speake a woord which should seeme to come of a readinesse
of witt, passe not for staynynge of a woorthie gentilwomans
honesty, which is a very naughtie matter and
Diverse effectes in jestes.
woorthie sore punishment. Bicause in this point women
are in the number of selie soules and persons in miserye,
and therfore deserve not to be nipped in it, for they have
not weapon to defende themselves. But beeside these
respectes he that wilbe pleasant and full of jestinge, must be
shaped of a certein nature to all kinde of pleasantnesse,
and unto that frame his facions, gestures and countenaunce,
the which the more grave, steadie and sett it is, somuch the
more maketh it the matters spoken to seeme wittie and subtil.
But you (Sir Fridericke) that thought to rest your selfe under
this my tree without leaves and in my withered reasoninges,
I beleave you have repented youre selfe, and you recken ye
are entred into the baytinge place of Montefiore. Therfore
it shall be well done for you like a wel practised Courtier
(to avoide an ill hosterie) to arryse somwhat beefore your
ordinarye hour and set forwarde on your journey.
The smalle respett some have in jestinge.
Nay, answered Sir Fridericke, I am come to so good an hosterie, that I minde to tarye in it lenger then I had thought at the firste. Therfore I will rest me yet a while, untill you have made an ende of all the talke ye have beegone withall. Wherof ye have left oute one percell that ye named at the beeginning: whiche is, Meerie Pranckes, and it were not well done to deceyve the companye of it. But as you have taught us manie pretie matters cancerninge Jestes, and made us hardie to use them throughe example of so many singular wittes, great men, Princis, Kinges and Popes, I suppose ye will likewise in Meerie Pranckes so boulden us, that we maye take a courage to practise some against you your selfe.
Then said M. Bernarde smilinge:
You shall not be the
firste, but perhappes it will not be your chaunce, for I have
so manie times bin served with them, that it maketh me
looke wel about me: As dogges, after they have bine once
scaulded with hott water, are aferd of the colde. How be
it sins you will have me to speake somewhat of this to, I
beleave I may rid my handes of it in fewe woordes. And
in mine opinion a Meerie Prancke is nothinge elles, but a
friendlye deceit in matters that offende not at all or verie
little. And even as in Jestynge to speake contrary to
expectacyon moveth laughter, so doeth in Meerie Pranckes
to doe contrarie to expectacion. And these doe so muche
the more delite and are to be praised, as they be wittie and
modest. For he that will woorke a Meerie Prancke without
respect, doth manie times offende and then arrise debates and
sore hatred. But the places that a man may dirive Merie
Pranckes from are (in a maner) the verie same that be in
Jestes. Therfore to avoide repetition of them, I will say
no more but that there be two kyndes of Meerie Pranckes
everye one of which may afterwarde be divided into mo
partes. The one is, whan any man whoever he be, is
deceyved wittilie, and after a feat maner and with pleasantnesse. The
other, whan a manne layeth (as it were) a nett,
and showeth a piece of a bayte so, that a man renneth to be
deceyved of himself. The first is suche, as the Meerie
Prancke was, that within these fewe dayes was wrought
unto a coople of greate Ladyes (whom I will not name)
by the meane of a Spaniarde called Castilio.
What is a Meerye prancke.
Then the Dutchesse: And whie (quoth she) will you not name them?
M. Bernarde answered: Bicause I would not have them to take it in yll part.
Then said the Dutchesse again, smilinge: It is not againste good maner sometime to use Meerie Pranckes with great men also. And I have heard of manie that have bine played to Duke Fridericke, to kinge Alphonsus of Aragon, to Queene Isabel of Spaine, and to manie other great Princis, and not onlie they tooke it not in ill part, but rewarded very largely them that plaied them those partes.
M. Bernarde answered: Neyther upon this hope do I entend to name them.
Say as pleaseth you, quoth the Dutchesse.
Then proceaded M. Bernarde and
said: Not manie dayes
since in the Court that I meane, there arrived a manne of
the Countrie about Bergamo, to be in service wyth a
Gentilman of the Court: whyche was so well sett oute with
garmentes and so finely clad, that for all hys brynginge up
was alwayes keapinge Oxen and could doe nothinge elles,
yet a manne that had not hearde him speake woulde have
judged him a woorthie gentilman. And so whan those
two ladies were enfourmed that there was arrived a
Spaniarde, servaunt to Cardinall Borgia, whose name was
Castilio, a verie wittie man, a musitien, a daunser and the
best Courtier in all Spaine, they longed verie much to speake
with him, and sent incontinentlye for him, and after they
had receyved him honorablye, they caused him to sitt downe,
and beegan to entertein him with a verie great respect in
the presence of all menne, and fewe there were present that
knew him not to be a Bergamask Cowherd. Therfore
seeinge those Ladies enterteine him with such respect, and
honour him so muche, they fell all in a laughyng, the more
Paglia is a litle village in the utmost
boundes of the territorie of Siena. Aquapendente is a towne of the Popes xii.
miles from Paglia.
bicause the seelie felowe spake still his natyve language, the
meere Bergamaske tunge. But the Gentilmen that divised
this Prancke, had first toulde those Ladyes that emonge
other thinges he was a great dissembler and spake all
tunges excellently well, and especiallye the Countrie
speache of Lumbardye, so that they thought he feigned,
and manie tymes they beehelde the one the other with certein
marveilinges, and saide: What a wonderful matter
is this howe he counterfeyteth this tunge! In conclusion
thys communication lasted so longe that eveye mans sydes
aked for laughinge, and he could not chouse himselfe but
uttre so manye tokens of hys noblenesse of birth, that at
length those Ladies (but with much ado) beleaved he was
the man that he was in deede. Suche Meerie Pranckes we
see daily, but emong the rest they be pleasant that at the
first make a man agast and after that, ende in a matter of
suretie, bicause he that was deceived laugheth at himself
whan he perceyveth he was afeard of nothing. As liynge
upon a time in Paglia, there chaunced to be in the verie
The woorst speach in all Italy.
same ynn three other good felowes, two of Pistoia and
one of Prato, whiche after supper (as the maner is for
the most part) fell to gamynge. And not longe after, one
of the Pistoiens losinge his rest, had not a farthynge left
him to blesse himselfe, but beegan to chafe, to curse, and to
bann and to blaspheme terriblye, and thus tearinge of God
he went to bed. The other two after they had played a
while, agreed to woorke a Meerie Pranke with him that was
gone to bed. And whan they perceyved that he was fallen
in sleepe, they blew out the candels and raked up the fire
and beegane to speake aloude, and then make the greatest
hurly burly in the worlde, makinge wise to contende together about
their game. The one said: Thou tookest
the carde underneath. The other deniynge it said: Thou
hast viede upon flush, let us mount: and suche other
matters with suche noise that he that slept awoke, and
hearynge them at play and talkinge even as though they
had seene the cardes, did a litle open his eyes: whan he
sawe there was no maner light in the chamber, he sayde:
What a Dyvell meane you to crie thus all night?
Afterwarde he layed him downe again to sleepe. The other two
companions gave him no maner answere, but still continued
in their pourpose untill he awoke better and muche wondred,
and whan he saw for certeintie that there was neyther fire
nor anye kinde of lighte and perceyved they played still
and fell in contention, he said: And how can ye see the cardes without
light? The one of the two answered: I
weene thou hast lost thy sight aswel as thy money. Seest
thou not that we have here two candels? He that was in
bed lift up himselfe upon his elbowes and in a maner
angred, said: Eyther I am dronken or blinde, or elles you
make a lye. The two arrose and went to bed darkelong,
laughing and makinge wise to beleave that he went about
to mocke them. And he again saide to them: I tell you
troth I see you not. At length the two beegane to seeme
to wonder much, and the one saide to the other: By good
Lord, I beleave he speaketh in good earnest, reach me
the candell and lett us see perhappes he have some impediment in his
sight. Then thought the poore wretch
surelie that he had bine blinde, and weeping dounright,
saide: Oh Sirs, I am blinde: and furthwith he beegane
Whan a man is afeard of nothing.
to call upon our Ladye of Loreto and to beeseche her
perdon him his blasphemies and cursinge for the
losse of his money. But his two companions put him
in good comforte and saide: It is not possible but thou
shouldest see us. Yt is some fansye that thou haste
conceyved in thine heade. Oh good lorde, answered the other,
it is no fansye, nor I see no more then if I had never had
eyes in my heade. Thy sighte is cleere inoughe, quoth the
two. And the one said to the other: Marke how well he
openeth his eyes? And how faire they be to looke to?
And who wolde beleave but he coulde see? The poore
soule wept faster, and cried God mercye. In conclusion
they said unto him: See thou make a vow to go divoutlye
to our ladye of Loreto barefoote and barelegged, for that
is the best remedie that may be had. And in the meane
space we will goe to Aquapendente and the other townes
here about to seeke for some Phistien, and will helpe the
in what we can. Then did the seelie soule kneele upon
his knees in the bed, and wyth aboundance of teares and
verie bitter repentance for his blaspheminge, made a solemne
vow to go naked to our ladye of Loreto and to offre unto
her a paire of eyes of silver, and to eate no flesh upon the
Wenesdaye nor egges upon the Fridaye, and to faste bread
and water every Saturday in worship of our lady: yf she
give him the grace to receyve his sight again. The two
companions entringe into an other chamber, lighted a candell,
and came with the greatest laughter in the world
beefore this poore soule, who for all he was rid of so great
an anguish as you may thinke he had, yet was he so astonied
with his former feare, that he could not onlye not laugh,
but not once speake a woord, and the two companions
did nothinge elles but sturr him, saiynge that he was
bounde to perfourme all those vowes, for that he had
received the grace he asked. Of the other kynde of Meerie
Pranckes whan a man deceyveth himselfe, I will give you
The greatest pilgromage in Italy.
none other example, but what happened unto me my selfe
not longe sins. For this shroftide that is past, my Lordes
grace of Saint Peter ad Vincula, which knoweth full wel
what a delite I have whan I am in maskerie to play Meerie
Pranckes with friers, havinge first given order as he had
divised the matter, cam upon a daye with my L. of Aragon
and certein other Cardinalles, to the windowes in the
banckes, making wise to stande there to see maskers passe
to and fro, as the maner of Roome is. I being in maskerie
passed bye, and whan I behelde on the one side of the
streete a frier standinge (as it were) in a studye with
himselfe, I judged I had found that I sought for, and furthwith
rann to him, like a greedye hauke to her preye, and whan
I had asked him and he toulde me who he was, I made
semblant to knowe hym, and wyth manye woordes beegane
to make him beleave that the marshall went about to seeke
him for certein complaintes against him, and persuaded him
to go with me to the Chauncerye and there I would save
him. The frier dismayed and all tremblinge seemed as
thoughe he wist not what to do, and said that he doubted
taking in case he should go far from Saint Celso. Still
I put him in good comfort, and saide somuche to him that
he leaped up beehinde me, and then me thought my divise
was fully accomplished. And I beegane to ride my horse
by and by up and downe the merchauntes streete, which
went kicking and winsing. Imagine with your selves now
what a faire sight it was to beehould a frier on horsebacke
beehinde a masker, his garmentes fleeing abrode and his
head shaking to and fro, that a man would have thought he
had bine alwaies falling. With this faire sight, the
gentilmen beegane to hurle egges out at the windowes, and
afterwarde all the bankers and as many as were there, so that
the haile never fell with a more vyolence from the skye,
then there fell egges out from the windowes, whiche for the
moste part came all upon me. And I for that I was in
maskerie passed not upon the matter, and thought verilie
that all the laughinge had bine for the frier and not for me,
and upon this went sundrie times up and downe the Bankes
alwayes with that furye of hell beehinde me. And thoughe
the frier (in maner) weepinge beesought me to lett him goe
downe and not to showe suche shame to the weede, yet did the knave
afterward privile cause egges to be given him by
certein Lackayes sett there for the nones, and makinge wise
to greepe me harde for fallynge, squised them in my bosome,
and many times on my head, and otherwhile in my forehead,
so that I was foule arayed. Finally whan everie man was
weerye both of laughinge and throwing egges, he leaped
downe from behind me, and plucking his hood backward
showed me a great bushe of heare, and said: M. Bernarde,
I am a horse keaper in the stable at Saint Peter ad Vincula,
and am he that looketh to youre mulett. Then wiste I
not whyche prevayled moste in me, grief, angre or shame.
Yet for the lesse hurt I fled towarde my lodgynge, and the
nexte mornynge I durste not showe my heade abrode. But
the laughynge at that Meerie Prancke dyd not endure the
daye followynge onelye, but also lasteth (in a maner) until
this daye.
Whan a man deceiveth himselfe.
And so whan they had a whyle
renewed the laughinge
at rehersynge this agayn, M. Bernarde proceaded. It
is also a good and pleasant kinde of Meerie Pranckes,
from whens in like maner Jestes are dirived, whan one
beleaveth that a man will do a matter which he will not in
Reverence to women.
deede. As whan I was in an Eveninge after supper uppon
the bridge of Leo, and goinge together with Cesar Boccadello
sportinge one with an other, we beegan to take houldfast
the one of the others armes, as though we wold have
wrastled, bicause then we perceyved no man about the bridge, and beeing
in this maner together, there came two
Frenchmen by, which seeing us thus striving, demaunded
what the matter ment, and stayed to part us, thinkinge we had bine at
debate in good ernest. Then said I incontinentlye: Helpe sirs, for this
poore gentilman at certein
times of the moon is frantike, and see now how he striveth
to cast himselfe of the bridge into the river. Then did the
two renn and layed hande upon Cesar with me and helde
him streict. And he (sayinge alwayes that I was out of my witt)
struggled the more to winde himself out of their
handes, and they greeped him somuch the harder. At this
the people assembled to beehoulde our rufflinge together,
and everie manne rann, and the more poore Cesar layed
about him with his handes and feete (for he beegane nowe
to enter into coler) the more resorte of people there was,
and for the greate strength he put, they beleaved verelie
that he woulde have leaped into the river, and therfore
helde they him the streicter, so that a great thronge of
people caried him to the ynn above grounde, all tourmoiled
and without his cappe, pale for wrath and shame that
nothinge he spake coulde prevaile, partlye bicause those
Frenchmen understood him not, and partly bicause I also
cariyinge him to the the ynn did alwaies bewaile the poore
soules ill lucke, that was so wexed out of his witt. Now
(as we have saide) of Meerie Pranckes a man may talke at
large, but it sufficeth to repete that the places whens thei
are dirived be the verie same whiche we have said of Jestes.
As for examples, we have infinit whiche we see daylye: and
emong the rest there are manye pleasant in the tales of
To feigne the doinge of a matter.
Boccaccio, as those that Bruno and Buffalmacco played to
their Calandrino, and to M. Symon: and manie other of
women, which in verie deede are wittie and pretie. I
remember also I have knowen in my dayes manye that have
bine meerilie disposed in this maner, and emonge the rest
a Scholar in Padoa borne in Sicilia called Pontius, which
seeinge upon a time a man of the countrey have a coople
of fatt capons, feininge himselfe to bye them, was at a point
with him for the price, and bed him come wyth him to his lodginge, for
beeside his price he woulde geve him somwhat
to breake his fast withall. And so brought him to a place
where was a styple that stoode by himself, alone severed
from the Church, that a manne might goe rounde about
him, and directlye over againste one of the foure sides of
the stype was a lane. Here Pontius, whan he had first beethought
himselfe what he had to doe, saide unto the
man of the countrey: I have layd these Capons on a wager
with a felowe of mine, who saith that this toure compaseth
xl. foote, and I say no, and even as I met with thee I had
bought this packthrid to measure it, therefore beefore we
go to my lodging I will trie which of us hath wonn the
wager. And in so saiynge he drewe the packthrid out of
his sleeve, and put the one ende of it into the man of the
countreys hand, and saide: Give here, and so tooke the
Capons: and with the other ende he beegane to go about
the bell toure, as though he would have measured it,
making first the man of the countrey to stand still, and to
houlde the packthrid directly on the contrary side of the
toure to that, that was at the head of the lane, where
assone as he came, he drove a nail into the walle, to the
which he tied the packthrid, and leavynge it so, went his
wayes without anye more a do downe the lane with the
Capons. The man of the Countrey stoode still a good while,
alwayes lookinge whan he wolde have done measuring. At
length after he had said manie times, What do you so longe?
he thought he woulde see, and founde that Pontius held not
the line, but a naile that was driven into the walle, which
onlye remayned for payment of his Capons. Of this sort
Pontius played manye Meerie Pranckes. And there have
bine also manie other pleasaunt men in this maner, as
Gonella, Meliolo, in those dayes, and now our frier Seraphin
and frier Marian here and manye well knowen to you all.
And in verie deede this kinde is to be praysed in men that
make profession of nothinge elles. But the Meerie Pranckes
that the Courtier ought to use, must (by myne advyse) be
somewhat wyde from immoderate jesting. He ought also
to take heed that his Meerie Pranckes tourne not to
pilferinge, as we see many naughtipackes, that wander about the
Giornat. viii.
Novel. iii.
Novell. v.
Novell. vi.
Novell. ix.
Giornat. ix.
Novell. iii.
Novell. v.
Pontius a scholar of Padoa.
world with divers shiftes to gete money, feining now one
matter, now an other. And that they be not to bitter, and
above all that he have respect and reverence, aswell in this,
as in all other thinges, to women, and especially where the staininge
of their honestie shall consist.
Pilferinge
Then the L. Gaspar: Trulye, M. Bernarde (quoth he) you are to partiall to these women. And whie will you that men shoulde have more respecte to women then women to men? Set not you asmuch by your honestie, as they do by theirs? Thinke you then that women ought to nippe men both with woordes and mockes in every matter without any regarde, and men shoulde stande with a flea in their eare, and thanke them for it?
M. Bernarde answered: I say not the contrarye, but women in their Jestes and Meerie Pranckes ought to have the respectes to menne which we have spoken of. Yet I say with more libertie may they touch men of smalle honestie, then men maye them. And that bicause we oure selves have established for a lawe, that in us wanton lief is no vice, nor default, nor any sclaunder, and in women it is so great a reproch and shame, that she that hath once an yll name, whether the report that goith of her be true or false, hathe loste her credit for ever. Therfore sins the talkinge of womens honestie is so daungerous a matter to offende them sore, I say that we oughte to touche them in other matters and refraine from this. For whan the Jest or Meerie Pranck nippeth to sore, it goith out of the boundes whiche we have alreadye said is fitt for a gentilman.
Here M. Bernarde makinge a
little stopp, the L. Octavian
Fregoso saide smylinge: My L. Gaspar can make you an
answere to this law which you alleage that we oure selves have made,
that yt is not perchaunce so oute of reason, as
Continencie.
you thynke. For sins women are moste unperfect creatures
and of litle or no woorthynesse in respect of menne, it
beehoved for that they were not apt to woorke any vertuous
deede of them selves, that they should have a bridle put
upon them with shame and feare of infamye, that shoulde
(in maner) by force bring them into some good condicion.
And continency was thought more necessary in them, then
any other, to have assuraunce of children. So that verie
force hath driven men with all inventions, pollicies, and wayes
possible to make women continent and (in maner) graunted
them in all thinges beeside to be of smalle woorthinesse, and
to do the cleane contrarye alwaies to that they ought to do.
Therefore sins it is lawfull for them to swarve out of the waye
in all other thinges without blame, if we should touch them
in those defaultes, wherin (as we have said) they are to be
borne withall, and therfore are not unseemelye in them, and
passe full litle upon it, we shoulde never move laughter.
For you have alreadye said, that Laughter is provoked with
certein thinges that are disagreeinge.
Women.
Then spake the Dutchesse: Speake you (my L. Octavian) of women thus, and then complaine that they love you not?
The L. Octavian answered: I complaine not of it, but rather I thanke them for it, sins in not lovinge of me, they bind not me to love them. Neither do I speake after mine owne opinion, but I say that the L. Gaspar might alleage these reasons.
M. Bernarde said: Truly women should make a good bargayne, if they coulde make attonementes with suche two great ennemies as you and the L. Gaspar be.
I am not their enemye, answered
the L. Gaspar, but you
are an ennemye to menne. For in case you will not have
women touched in this honesty of theirs, you ought aswell
to appoynt them a law not to touche menne, in that
whiche is asmuche shame to us, as incontinencye to women.
And why was it not as meete for Alonso Carillo to make
the answere which he gave maistres Boadilla of the hope
that he had to save his lief, in that she wold take him
to husband, as it was for her to say first: All that knew
him thought the kinge wold have hanged him. And whie
was it not as lawefull for Richard Minutoli to beguile
Philippelos wief, and to trane her to that bayne, as it
was for Beatrice to make Egano her husbande arrise out
of his bed, and Anichin to beeswadell him with a cudgell,
after she had lyen a good space with him? And the other
that tied her packthrid to her great toe, and made her owne
husbande beleave that he was not hymselfe, sins you saye
those Meerie Pranckes of women in Boccaccio are so wittie and pretie.
Boccaccio.
Giornat. iii.
Novell. vi.
Giornat. vii.
Novel. viii.
Then said M. Bernarde smiling: My lordes, forsomuch as my part hath bin to entreat onlie of Jestes, I entende not to passe my boundes therin, and I suppose I have already showed whie I judge it not meete to touch women neyther in woorde nor deede about their honestie, and I have also given them a rule not to nippe men where it greeveth them. But I saye that those Meerie pranckes and Jestes whiche you (my L. Gaspar) alleage, as that Alonso said unto M. Boadilla, althoughe it somewhat touche honestie, yet doeth it not discontent me, bicause it is fett farr inoughe of, and is so privie, that it may be simplye understoode, so, that he might have dissembled the matter, and affirmed that he spake it not to that ende. He spake an other (in mine opinion) verie unseemlie, whiche was: Whan the Queene passed by M. Boadillas house, Alonso sawe peincted with coles all the gate over, suche kinde of dishonest beastes, as are peincted about ynnes in such sundrie wise, and cumminge to the Countesse of Castegneto said unto her: See (madam) the heades of the wielde beastes that M. Boadilla killeth everie day in huntinge. Marke you this, thoughe it were a wittie metaphor, and borowed of Hunters, that counte it a glorye to have manie wilde beastes heades nayled at their gates, yet it is dishonest and shamefull jestinge. Beeside that, it was not in answeringe, for an answere hath muche more courtesie in it, because it is thought that a manne is provoked to it, and it must needes be at a sodeine. But to retourn to our matter of the Meerie Pranckes of women, I say not that they do well to beguile their husbandes: but I say that some of the deceites whiche Boccaccio recyteth of women, are pretie and wittie inough, and especiallye those you have spoken of your selfe. But in mine opinion the prancke that Richarde Minutoli wrought, doeth passe the boundes, and is muche more bitterer then that Beatrice wrought. For Richarde Minutoli tooke muche more from Philippellos wief, then did Beatrice from Egano her husbande: bicause Richarde with that privie pollicie enforced her, and made her to do of herself that she wolde not have done: and Beatrice deceyved her husbande to do of herself that she lusted.
Then saide the L. Gaspar: For no other cause can a manne excuse Beatrice but for love, whiche ought to be alowed aswell in men as in women.
Then answered M. Bernarde:
Trulye the passions of
love bringe with them a great excuse of everye fault, yet
The true end of lovers desires. Gyftes in love.
judge I (for my part) that a Gentilman that is in love,
ought aswell in this point as in all other thynges, to be
voide of dissimulation, and of an upright meaninge. And
if it be true that it is such an abhominable profit and
trespace to use tradiment against a mans verie ennemye:
consider you how muche more haynous that offence is
againste a person whom a man loveth. And I beleave ech
honest lover susteyneth such peynes, such watchinges,
hasardeth himselfe in suche daungers, droppeth so manie
teares, useth so manie meanes and wayes to please the
woman whom he loveth, not cheeflye to come bye her body,
but to winn the fortresse of that minde, to breake in peeces
those most harde Diamondes, to heate that colde yce, that
lye many times in the tender brestes of these women. And
this do I beleave is the true and sounde pleasure, and the
ende wherto the entent of a noble courage is bent. And
for my part trulye (were I in love) I wold like it better to
know assuridlye that she whom I loved and served loved me
again with hert, and had bent her minde towarde me,
without receiving any other contentation, then to enjoye
her and to have my fill of her againste her owne will, for in that case
I shoulde thinke my selfe maister of a deade
carcase. Therfore suche as compase their desires by the
meane of these Meerie Pranckes, which maye perhappes
rather be termed Tradimentes then Meerie Pranckes, do
injurye to other, and yet receyve they not for all that the
contentacion which a man should wishe for in love,
Love without diissimulation.
Tradiment against one beloved.
possessynge the bodie without the will. The like I saye of certein
other that in love practise enchauntmentes, sorceries, and
otherwhile plaine force, sometime meanes to cast them in
sleepe and suche like matters. And knowe for a sooth, that
gyftes also diminishe muche the pleasures of love, bicause a
man maie stand in doubt whether he be beloved or no, but
that the woman maketh a countenance to love him, to fare
the better by him: therfore ye see that the love of Ladies
and great women is esteamed, bicause it appeereth that it
can arrise of none other cause, but of perfect and true love,
neyther is it to be thoughte that a great Ladye wyll at anye tyme showe
to beare good will to her inferiour, onlesse she
love him in verye deede.
Unhonest lovers.
Then answered the L. Gaspar: I denie not that the entent, the peynes and daungers of lovers ought not principally to have their ende dyrected to the victorye rather of the minde then of the bodye of the woman beloved. But I saye that these deceytes whiche you in men terme Tradimentes, and in women Meerie pranckes, are a verie good meane to come to this ende, bicause alwayes he that possesseth the bodie of women, is also maister of the mind. And if you beethinke you well, Philippellos wief after her great lametatyon for the deceyt wrought her by Richard, knowinge howe muche more savourye the kysses of a lover were then her husbandes, tournynge her rigour into tender affection towarde Richarde, from that daye forwarde loved hym moste deerlye. You maye perceive nowe that his continuall hauntinge, hys presentes, and hys so manye other tokens, whyche had bine so longe a proof of hys good will toward her, were not able to compasse that, that hys beeyinge with her a smalle while did. Nowe see this Meerie Prancke or Tradiment (howe ever you will terme it) was a good waye to wynn the fortresse of that minde.
Then M. Bernarde: You (quoth he) make a surmise, which is most false, for in case women should alwayes give their minde to him that possesseth their body, there should be none found that wold not love their husbandes more then anye person in the worlde beesyde, where it is seene not to be so. But John Boccaccio was (as you be) without cause an ennemye to women.
The L. Gaspar answered: I am no ennenye of theirs, but (to confesse the troth) fewe menne of woorthynesse there be that generally set any store by women, although otherwhile, to serve their tourne withall, they make wise to the contrarye.
Then answered M. Bernarde: You doe not onelye injurye to women, but to all menne also that reverence them: notwithstandinge (as I have saide) I will not swarve from my first pourpose of Meerie Pranckes, and undertake suche an enterprise so harde, as is the defence of women against you, that are a valiant Champyon. Therfore I will ende this my communication, whyche perhappes hath byne lenger then needed, but oute of paraventure not so pleasaunt as you looked for. And syns I see the Ladyes so quyet and beare these injuries at youre handes so pacyentlye as they doe, I wyll hensefurth beleave that some parte of that which the L. Octavian hath spoken is true: namely that they passe not to be yll reported of in everye other matter, so theyr honesty be not touched.
Then a greate parte of the
women there, for that the Dutchesse had beckoned to them so to doe,
arrose upon
their feete, and ran all laughyng toward the L. Gaspar, as
they wold have buffeted him and done as the wood women
did to Orpheus, saing continually: Now shall we see whether
we passe to be yll spoken of or no.
Orpheus was torne in peeces with women.
Thus partlye for laughinge, and partlye for the risinge of everye one from his seate, yt seemed the sleepe that now beegane to enter into the eyes and heade of some of them departed.
But the L. Gaspar said: See I pray you where thei have not reason on their side, they will prevaile by plaine force, and so end the communication, gevinge us leave to depart with stripes.
Then answered the L. Emilia: No (quoth she) it shall not be so: for whan you perceyved M. Bernarde was weerie of his longe talke, you beegan to speake so muche yll of women, thinkinge you shoulde finde none to gainsaye you. But we will sett into the field a fresher knight that shall fight with you, bicause your offence shall not be so long unpunished. So tourninge her to the L. Julian that hitherto had said little, she said unto him: You are counted the protectour of the honour of women, therfore it is nowe hyghe time to showe that you come not by this name for nothinge, and in case ye have not bine woorthelye recompensed at anye time for this profession hitherto, nowe muste you thinke that in puttinge to flight so bitter an ennemy, you shall binde all women to you muche more, and so muche, that where they shall do nothinge elles but rewarde you, yet shall the bondage still remaine freshe, and never cease to be recompensed.
Then answered the L. Julian:
Me thinke (madam) you
show great honour to your ennemy, and verie litle to youre
defender: for undoubtedlye the L. Gaspar hath said nothing
against women, but it hath bine fullye answered by M.
Bernarde. And I beleave everye one of us knoweth, that it
is meete the Courtier beare verie great reverence towarde
women, and a discreete and courtiouse person ought never
to touch their honestie neither in boord, nor in good earnest.
Therfore to dispute of this so open a trueth, were (in maner)
to put a doubt in manifest matters. I thinke wel that the
L. Octavian passed his boundes somwhat in sayinge that
women are most unperfect creatures and not apt to woorke
anye vertuous deede, and of litle or no woorthinnesse in
respect of men. And bicause manie times credit is geven to
men of great authority, although they speake not the full
truth, and also whan they speake in boorde, the L. Gaspar
hath suffered himselfe to be lead by the L. Octavians
woordes to saye that Men of wisdome sett no store by them,
which is most false. For I have knowen few men of
woorthinesse at anye time doe not love and observe
women, the vertue and consequentlye the woorthinesse of
whom I deeme not a jott inferiour to mens. Yet if we
should come to this contention, the cause of women were
lyke to quaile greatlie, bicause these Lordes have shaped a
Courtier that is so excellent and of so manie divine qualities,
that whoso hath the understanding to consider him to be
such a one as he is, will imagin that the desertes of women
can not attaine to that point. But in case the matter should
be equally devided, we have first neede of so witty and
eloquent a person as is Count Lewis and Sir Fridericke, to
shape a gentilwoman of the Palaice with all perfections due
to a woman, as they have shaped the Courtier with the
perfections beelonging to a man. And then if he that
defended their cause were anie thinge wittie and eloquent,
I beleave (bicause the truth will be a helpe to him) he
may plainlye showe that women are as full of vertues as
men be.
Men of worthines observe women.
The Ladye Emila answered: Nay, a great deale more, and that it is so you may see, vertue is the female, and vice the male.
The L. Gaspar then laughed, and tourning him to M. Nicholas Phrisio: What is your judgement, Phrisio (quoth he)?
Phrisio answered: I am sorie for the L. Julian that he is so seduced with the promises and flatteringe woordes of the L. Emilia to renn into an errour to speake the thinge whiche for hys sake I am ashamed of.
The L. Emilia answered smilinge: You will sure be shamed for your owne sake, whan you shall see the L. Gaspar after he is convicted, confesse his owne errour and yours to, and demaunde that pardon whiche we will not graunt him.
Then spake the Dutchesse: Biscause it is very late, I will we defar the wholl untill to morow, the more for that I thinke it well done we folow the L. Julians counsell, that beefore we come to this disputacion we maye have a gentilwoman of the Palaice so facioned in all perfections, as these Lordes have facioned the perfect Courtier.
Madam, quoth the L. Emilia then, I pray God it fall not to oure lott to give this enterprise to anye confederate with the L. Gaspar, least he facion us for a gentilwoman of the Court, one that can do nought elles but looke to the kitchen and spinn.
Then said Phrisio: In deede that is an office fitt for herr.
Then the Dutchesse: I have a good hope in the L. Julian (quoth she) who will (for the good witt and judgement I knowe he is of) imagyn the greatest perfection that maye be wished in a woman, and in like maner expresse it well in woordes, and so shal we have somewhat to confounde the L. Gaspars false accusations withall.
Madam, answered the L. Julian, I wote not whether youre divise be good or no to committ into my handes an enterprise of so great weight, for (to tell you the troth) I thinke not my selfe able inoughe. Neyther am I like the Count and Sir Fridericke, whiche with their eloquence have shaped suche a Courtier as never was, nor I beleave ever shalbe. Yet if your pleasure be so that I shall take this bourden upon me, let it be at the least with those condicions that the other have had before me: namely, that everie man, where he shall thinke good, maye replye against me, and this shall I recken not overthuartinge but aide, and perhappes in correctynge myne erroures we shall finde the perfection of a gentilwoman of the Palaice whiche we seeke for.
I trust, answered the Dutchesse, your talke shall be such, that litle may be said against you. Therfore settle your minde to thynke upon onlie this and facion us suche a Gentilwoman that these our adversaries maye be ashamed to say, that she is not equall with the Courtier in vertue: of whom it shall be well done Sir Friderick speake no more, for he hath but to well sett him furth, especiallye sins we must compare a woman to him.
I have (madam) answered Sir Friderick, litle or nothinge now left to speake of the Courtier, and that I did thinke upon, M. Bernardes Jestes have made me forgete.
If it be so, quoth the Dutchesse, assembling together to morow beetimes, we shal have leiser to accomplish both the one and the other. And whan she had so said, they arrose all upon their feete, and takynge their leave reverentlye of the Dutchesse everye man withdrue him to his lodging.
