The Arte of Rhetorique

Thomas Wilson

Note on the e-text: this Renascence Editions text was transcribed by Judy Boss, Omaha, NE, 1998, from Wilson's Arte of Rhetorique 1560. Ed. G. H. Mair. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1909. Content unique to this presentation is copyright © 1998 The University of Oregon and Judy Boss. For nonprofit and educational uses only. Send comments and corrections to the Publisher, rbear at uoregon.edu.

¶ The second Booke. Ow that I haue hetherto set forth, what Rhetorique is, whereunto euery Oratour is most bounde, what the causes bee, both in their nature and also by number, that comprehende euery matter, and what places serue to confirme euery cause: I think it is most meete, after the knowledge of all these, to frame an Oration accordingly, and to shewe at large, by partes of euery Oration (but specially such as are vsed in Iudgement) that vnto euery cause, apt partes may euermore be added. For euery matter hath a diuers beginning, neither al controuersies or matters of weight, should alwaies after one sort be rehearsed, nor like reasons vsed, nor one kinde of mouing affections, occupied before all men, in euery matter. And therefore, whereas I haue briefly spoken of them before, I will nowe largely declare them, and shewe the vse of them in euery matter, that cometh in debate, and is needefull through reason to be discussed. ¶ An entraunce, two waies deuided.

A beginning

what it is.

THe first is called a plaine beginning, when the hearer is made apt to giue good eare out of hande, to that which shall followe.

Insinuation

The second is a priuie twining, or close creeping in, to win fauour with much circumstaunce, called insinuation.

For in all matters that man takes in hand, this consideration ought first to be had, that we first diligently expend the cause, before we go through with it, that we may be assured whether it bee lawfull or otherwise. And not onely this, but also we must aduisedly marke the men, before whom we speake, the men against whom we speake, and al the circumstances which belong vnto the matter. If the matter be honest, godly, and such as of right ought to be well liked, we may vse an open beginning, and wil the hearers to reioyce, and so go through with our parte. If the cause bee lothsome, or such as will not be well borne with all, but needeth much helpe and fauour of the hearers: it shalbe the speakers part priuely to get fauour, & by humble talk to win their good wils. First, requiring them to giue him the hearing, and next, not streightly to giue iudgement, but with mercie to mitigate all rigour of the Lawe. Or in a complaint made, which the counsell shall greuously stomake, to exaggerate it the more, if we see iust cause to sit it forwarde. And whereas many often tymes are susspect to speake things of malice, or for hope of gaine, or els for a set purpose, as who should say, this I can doe: the wisest will euer more cleare themselues from all such offences, and neuer giue any token so much as in them lieth, of any light suspition.

In accusing any person, it is beast to heape all his faultes together, and whereas any thing seemeth to make for him, to extenuate the same to the vttermost. In defending any person, it is wisedome to rehearse all his vertues first and formost, and with asmuch arte as may be, to wipe away such faultes as were laied to his charge. And before all things, this would be well marked, that whensoeuer we shal largely talke of any matter, we alwaies so inuent and finde out our first enteraunce in the cause, that the same be for euer taken euen from the nature and bowelles thereof, that all things which shal first be spoken, may seeme to agree with the matter, and not made as a shippe mans hose to serue for euery legge.

Three things most

meete for euery

Oratour. To make

the hearers to

vnderstand the

matter.

Now, whereas any long talke is vsed, the beginning thereof is either taken of the matter self, or els of the persons that are there present, or els of them against whom the action is intended. And because the winning of victorie resteth in three pointes. First, in apt teaching the hearers what the matter is, next in getting them to giue good eare, and thirdly in winning their fauor: We shall make them vnderstande the matter easely, if first of all we begin to expounde it plainly and in briefe words, setting out the meaning, make them harken to their sayings. And by no meanes better shall the standers by knowe what we say, and carie awaie that which they heare, then if at the first we couch together, the whole course of our tale in as small roome as we can, either by defining the nature and substaunce of our matter, or els by diuiding it in an apt order, so that neither the hearers be troubled, with confounding of matter, and heaping one thing in an others necke, nor yet their memorie dulled with ouerthwart rehearsall, and disorderly telling of our tale. Wee shall make the people attentiue, and glad to heare vs, if we

To make hearers

attentiue.

wil promise them to speake of weightie matters, of wholsome doctrine, such as they haue heretofore wanted: yea, if we promise to tell them things concerning either their owne profit, or the aduancement of their countrie, no doubt we shal haue them diligent hearers. Or els if they like not to heare weightie affaires, we may promise them strange newes, and perswade them we will make them laugh, and think you not that they will rather heare a foolish tale, then a wise & wholsome counsail: Demosthenes therefore, seing at a time the fondnesse of the people to be such, that he could not

Demosthenes tale

of the Asses shadow.

obtaine of them, to heare him speake his minde in an earnest cause, concerning the wealth of his Countrey, required them to tarie, and he would tel them a tale of Robin Hood. Whereat they al staied, and longed to know what that should be. He began streght to tell them, of one that had sold his Asse to another man, wherevpon they both went forth to the next Market toune, hauing with them the said Asse. And the weather being somewhat hot, the first owner which had now sold his asse, went to that side the Asse which kept him best from the heate. The other being now the owner & in full possession, would not suffer that, but required him to giue place, and suffer him to take the best commodity of his own Asse that he could haue, whereat the other answered and said: nay by saint Marie sir, you serue me not so, I sold you the Asse, but I solde you not the shadowe of the Asse, & therefore pick you hence. When the people heard this, they laughed apace, and likt it very well. Whervpon Demosthenes hauing won them together by this mery toye, rebuked their folly, that were so slack to heare good things, and so redy to here a tale of a Tub, and thus hauing them attentiue, perswaded with them to heare him in matters of great importance, the which otherwise he could neuer haue done, if he had not taken this way with him.

We shall get the good willes of our hearers fower maner of

To get the

hearers good

will.

waies, either beginning to speake of our selues, or els of our aduersaries, or els of the people and companie present, or last of all, if we begin of the matter it selfe, and so goe through with it. Wee shall get fauour for our owne sakes, if we shal modestly set foorth our bounden dueties, and declare our seruice done, without al suspition of vaunting, either to the common weale, as in seruing either in the warres abroade, or els in bearing some office at home, concerning the tranquility of our countrie: or in helping our frends, kinsfolkes, and poore neighbours, to declare our goodnesse done heretofore towards them: and lastly, if wee shewe without all ostentation, aswell our good willes towards the Iudges there, as also pleasures done for them in tymes past to the vttermost of our power. And if any thing seeme to let our cause by any misreport, or euill behauiour of our partes heretofore: best it were in most humble wise to seeke fauour, and sleightly to auoyd all such offences laied to our charge.

We shall get fauour by speaking of our aduersaries, if wee shall make such reporte of them, that the hearers shall either hate to heare them, or vtterly enuie them, or els altogether despise them. We shall sone make our aduersaries to bee lothed, if wee shewe and set foorth some naughtie deede of theirs, and declare how cruelly, how vily, and how maliciously they haue vsed other men heretofore.

We shall make them to be enuied, if we report vnto the Iudges that they beare themselues hault, and stout vpon their wealthie freendes, and oppresse poore men by might, not regarding their honestie, but seeking alwaies by hooke and crooke, to robbe poore men of their Farmes, Leases, and money. And by the way, declare some one thing that they haue done, which honest eares would scant abide to heare.

We shall make them to bee set naught by, if we declare what luskes they are, how vnthriftely they liue, how they doe nothing from day to day, but eate, drinke, and sleepe, rather seeking to liue like beastes, then minding to liue like men, either in profiting their countrie, or in tendering their owne commoditie, as by right they ought to doe.

We shall get good will, by speaking of the Iudges and hearers: if wee shall commend their worthie doings, and prayse their iust dealing, and faithfull execution of the Lawe, and tell them in what estimation the whole countrey hath them, for their vpright iudging and determining of matters, and therefore in this cause needes must it be, that they must answere their former doings, and iudge so of this matter, as al good men haue opinion they will doe.

We shall finde fauour by speaking of the matter, if in handling our owne cause, we commende it accordingly, and dispraise the attempt of our aduersary, extenuating all his chiefe purposes, so much as shall be necessarie.

Now resteth for me to speake of the other parte of Enterance into an Oration, which is called a close, or priuie getting of fauour when the cause is daungerous, and cannot easely by heard without displeasure.

Insinuation.

A priuie beginning, or creeping in, otherwise called Insinuation, must then, and not els be vsed, when the Iudge is greeued with vs, and our cause hated of the hearers.

The cause selfe oftentimes is not liked for three diuers causes, if either the matter selfe be vnhonest, and not meete to be vttered before an audience, or els if the Iudge himself by a former tale be perswaded to take parte against vs, or last if at that time we are forced to speake, when the Iudge is weried with hearing of other. For the Iudge himselfe being weried by hearing, will bee much more greeued if any thing be spoken either ouermuch, or els against his liking. Yea who seeth not that a weried man wil sone mislike a right good matter? If the matter be so hainous that it can not be heard without offence, (as if I should take a mans parte, who were generally hated) wisedome were to let him goe, and take some other whom all men liked: or if the cause were thought not honest, to take some other in steede thereof which were better liked, till they were better prepared to heare the other: so that euermore nothing should be spoken at the first, but that which might please the Iudge, and not to be acknowne once to thinke of that, which yet we minde most of all to perswade. Therefore, when the hearers are some what calmed, we may enter by little and little into the matter, and say that those things, which our aduersary doth mislike in the person accused, we also doe mislike the same. And when the hearers are thus wonne, wee may say that all which was saide nothing toucheth vs, and that we minde to speake nothing at al against our aduersaries, neither this way nor that way. Neither were it wisedome openly to speake against them, which are generally well esteemed and taken for honest men. And yet it were not amisse for the furtherance of our owne causes, closely to speake our phantasie, and so, streight to aulter their hearts. Yea, and to tel the Iudges the like in a like matter, that such and such iudgement hath been giuen: And therefore at this time, considering the same case, and the same necessitie, like iudgement is looked for. But if the aduersarie haue so tolde his tale, that the Iudge is wholly bent to giue sentence with hym, and that it is well knowne, vnto what reasons the iudge moste leaned, and was perswaded: we may first promise to weaken that, which the aduersarie hath made most strong for himself, and confute that parte, which the hearers did most esteeme, and best of all like. Or els we may take aduauntage, of some part of our aduersaries tale, and talke of that first, which he spake last: or els begin so, as though wee doubted what were best first to speake, or to what part it were most reason, first of all to answere, wondering and taking God to witnesse, at the strangenesse of his reporte, and confirmation of his cause. For when the standers by, perceiue that the answerer (whome the aduersaries thought in their minde, was wholly abashed) feareth so little the obiections of his aduersarie, and is readie to answere Ad omnia Quare, with a bolde countenance: They will thinke that they themselues, rather gaue rash credite, and were ouerlight in beleeuing the first tale: then that he, which now answereth in his owne cause, speaketh without ground, or presumeth vpon a stomack to speake for himselfe, without iust consideration.

But if the time be so spent, and the tale so long in telling, that all men be almost weried to heare any more: then we must make promise at the first to be very short, and to lappe vp our matter in fewe words.

Mirth making good

at the beginning.

And if time may so serue, it were good when men be wearied to make them somwhat mery, and to begin with some pleasaunt tale, or take an occasion to iest wittely, vppon some thing then presently done.

Or if the time will not serue for pleasaunt tales, it were good to tell some straunge thing, some terrible wonder, that

Straunge things sometime

needfull to be tolde

at the first.

they all may quake at the onely hearing of the same. For, like as when a mans stomack is full, and can brooke no more meate, hee may stirre his appetite, either by some Tart sawce, or els quicken it somewhat by some sweete dish: Euen so when the audience is wearied with weightie affaires, some strange wonders may call vp their spirites, or els some merie tale may cheare their heauie lookes.

And assuredly, it is no small cunning to moue the hearts of men, either to mirth, or sadnesse: for he that hath such skill, shall not lightly faile of his purpose, what soeuer matter he taketh in hande.

Thus haue I taught what an enterance is, and how it should be vsed. Notwithstanding, I thinke it not amisse, often to rehearse this one point, that euermore the beginning be not ouermuch laboured, nor curiously made, but rather apt to the purpose, seeming vpon present occasion, euermore to take place, and so to bee deuised, as though wee speake altogether, without any great studie, framing rather our tale to good reason, then our tongue to vaine painting of the matter.

Enteraunces apt

to the purpose.

In all which discourse, whereas I haue framed all the lessons and euery enterance properly, to serue for pleading at the barre: yet assuredly, many of them may well helpe those: that preache Gods trueth, & exhort men in open assemblies to vpright dealing.

And no doubt, many of them haue much neede to knowe this Arte, that the rather their tale may hang together, whereas oftentimes they beginne as much from the matter, as it is betwixt Douer and Barwike, whereat some take pitie, and many for wearinesse can scant abide their beginning, it is

Enteraunces apt

for Preachers.

so long or they speake anything to the purpose. Therefore, the learned Clarkes of this our time, haue thought it good, that all Preachers should take their beginning, vpon the occasion of such matter, as is there written, declaring why and wherefore, and vpon what consideration such wordes were in those dayes so spoken, that the reason giuen of such talke then vttered, might serue well to beginne their Sermon. Or els to gather some seuerall sentence at the first, which briefly comprehendeth the whole matter following, or els to beginne with some apt similitude, example, or wittie saying. Or lastly, to declare what went before, and so to shewe that which followeth after. Yea, sometymes to beginne lamentablie, with an vnfained bewayling of sinne, and a terrible declaring of Gods threates: Sometimes, to take occasion of a matter newly done, or of the companie there present, so that all waies the beginning be aunswerable to the matter following.

¶ Of Narration. AFter the preface and first Enterance, the matter must be opened, and euery thing liuely tolde, that the hearers

Narration. i. Briefe.

ii. Plaine. iii. Probable.

may fully perceiue what we goe about, nowe in reporting an act done, or vttering the state of a controuersie, we must vse these lessons, wherof the first is to be short, the next to bee plaine, and the third is to speake likely, and with reason, that the hearers may remember, vnderstand, and beleeue the rather, such things as shall be saied.

And first whereas we should be short in telling the matter as it lieth, the best is to speake no more than needes wee must, not rauing it from the bottome, or telling bytales such as rude

Breuitie, how it

might be vsed.

people full oft doe, nor yet touching euery pointe, but telling the whole in a grosse somme. And where as many matters shall neither harme vs, nor yet doe vs good being brought in, and reported by vs: it were well done not to medle with them at all, nor yet twise to tell one thing, or report that which is odious to be tolde againe. Notwithstanding this one thing would be wel considered, that in seking to be short we be not obscure. And therefore to make our matter plaine, that all may vnderstand it, the best were first and formost to tell euery thing in order so much as is needful, obseruing both the time, the place, the maner of doing, and the circumstances thereunto

Plainesse, how

it might be vsed.

belonging. Wherein good heed would be had that nothing be doubtfully spoken, which may haue a double meaning, nor yet any thing vttered that may make asmuch against vs as with vs, but that all our wordes runne to confirme wholy our matter. And surely if the matter be not so plainely told that all may vnderstand it, wee shall doe little good in the rest of our report. For in other partes of the Oration if we be somwhat darke, it is lesse harme, wee may bee more plaine in an other place. But if the Narration, or substaunce of the tale be not well perceiued, the whole Oration besides is darkned altogether. For to what ende should we goe about to proue that, which the hearers knowe not what it is? Neither can we haue any libertie to tell our tale againe after we haue once tolde it, but must streight goe foorth and confirme that which we haue saied, how soeuer it is. Therefore the reporting of our tale, may sone appere plain if we first expresse our minde in plaine words, and not seeke these roperipe termes, which betraie rather a foole, then commende a wise man: and againe, if we orderly obserue circumstaunces, and tell one thing after an other, from time to time, not tumbling one tale in anothers necke, telling halfe a tale, and so leauing it rawe, hacking and hemming, as though our wittes and our senses were a woll gathering. Neither should we suffer our tongue, to run before our witte, but with much warenesse, set foorth our matter, and speake our minde euermore with iudgement.

Probabilities how

it maie be vsed.

We shall make our sayings appeare likely, and probable: if we speake directly as the cause requireth, if we shewe the verie purpose of all the deuise, and frame our inuention, according as we shall thinke them most willing to allowe it, that haue the hearing of it.

The Narration reported in matters of iudgement, shall seem to stand with reason, if we make our talk to agree with the place, time, thing, and person, if wee shall shewe that whatsoeuer wee say, the same by all likelihoodes is true, if our coniectures, tokens, reasons, and arguments bee such, that neither in them, there appere any fabling, nor yet that any thing was spoken, which might of right otherwise be taken,

Narration in

iudgement.

and that we not onely speake this, but that diuers other of good credite will stand with vs in defence of the same, all which reporting may sone be liked, and the tale so tolde, may be thought very reasonable. Yea, wee shall make our doings seeme reasonable, if we frame our worke to natures will, and seeke none other meanes but such onely, as the honest and wise haue euer vsed and allowed, bringing in and blaming the euill alwayes, for such faultes chiefly, wherevnto they most of all are like to be subiect, as to accuse a spende all, of theft: a whoremonger, of adulterie: a rash quarreller, of manslaughter: and so of other. Sometimes it is good and profitable, to bee merie and pleasaunt, in reporting a matter, against some maner of man, and in some cause. For, neither against all men that offende, nor yet against all matters,

Narration in praysing

and counsell giuing.

should the wittie alwaies vse iesting. And now, for those that shall tel their minde, in the other kindes of Oratorie, as in the kinde Demonstratiue, Deliberatiue, in exhorting or perswading: the learned haue thought meet that they must also call the whole somme of their matter to one point, that the rather the hearers may better perceiue, whereat they leuell all

Preachers what

order they vse.

their reasons. As if a Clarke doe take in hande to declare Gods heft, he will after his enteraunce, tell what thing is chiefly purposed in that place, and next after, shew other things annexed therevnto, whereby not only the hearers may get great learning, and take much profite of his doctrine: but he himselfe may knowe the better what to say, what order to vse, and when to make an ende.

Some do vse after the litterall sense, to gather a misticall vnderstanding, and to expounde the sayings spiritually, making their Narration altogether of things heauenly. Some rehearsing a text particularly spoken, applie the same generally vnto al states, enlarging the Narration most Godly, by comparing words long agoe spoken, with things and matters that are presently done. Notwithstanding, the auncient fathers, because they did onely expounde the Scriptures for the most parte, made no artificiall Narration, but vsed to followe such order, as the plaine text gaue them. So that if euery sentence were plainly opened to the hearers, they went not much farther, sauing that when any word gaue them occasion to speake of some vice, they would largely say their minde in that behalf: as Chrisostome and Basile haue done with other.

The ware marking, and heedy obseruation of time, place, and person, may teach all men (that be not past teaching) how to frame their Narration in all controuersies, that are called in question, and therefore, when present occasion shall giue good instruction, what need more lessons? And especially, feeling Nature teacheth what is comely, and what is not comely for all tymes.

Yea, what tell I now of such lessons, seeing GOD hath raised such worthy Preachers in this our tyme, that their Godly and learned doings, may be a most iust example for all other to followe: aswell for their liuing, as for their learning: I feare me, the precepts be more in number, then will be well kept, or followed this yere.

¶ Of Deuision. AFter our tale is tolde, and the hearers haue well learned what we meane, the next is to reporte wherein the aduersarie and wee can not agree, and what it is, wherein wee doe agree. And then to parte out such principall pointes, whereof we purpose fully to debate, and laie them out to be knowen: that the hearers may plainly see, what wee will say, and perceiue at a worde the substaunce of our meaning. Now,

Deuision of three

partes at the most.

Tullie would not haue a deuision to be made, of, or aboue three partes at the moste, nor yet lesse then three neither, if neede so require. For if we haue three chiefe groundes, wherevpon to rest, applying all our arguments therevnto, we shall both haue matter enough to speake of, the hearers shall with ease vnderstande our meaning, and the whole Oration shall sone bee at an ende. Notwithstanding, this lesson must not so curiously bee kept, as though it were sinne to make the deuision of fower, or fiue partes: but it was spoken for this end, that the deuision should be made of as fewe as may be possible, that men may the better carie it away, and the reporter with more ease, may remember what he hath to saie.

Women rebuked that

nurse not their owne

children.

Now in praising, or dispraising, in perswading, or disswading, deuisions must also be vsed. As if one would enueigh against those women, that will not giue their owne children sucke, he might vse this deuision. Where as women commonly put their children forth to nursing, I will proue, that it is both against the lawe of Nature, and also against Gods holy wil: againe I wil shewe that it is harmefull, both for the childes bodie, and also for his witte: lastly I will proue that the mother selfe, falleth into much sicknesse thereby.

First, Nature giueth milke to the woman, for none other ende but that she should bestow it vpon her childe. And we see beastes feede their yongones, and why should not Women? GOD also commaunded all women, to bring vp their children.

Againe, the childrens bodies shall be so affected, as the milke is which they receiue. Now, if the Nurse bee of an euill complexion, or haue some hid disease, the childe sucking of her breast, must needes take parte with her. And if that be true, which the learned doe say, that the temperature of the minde followes the constitution of the bodie, needes must it be, that if the Nurse be of a naughtie nature, the childe must take thereafter. But if it be, the Nurse be of a good complexion, of an honest behauiour (whereas contrariwise, Maidens that haue made a scape, are commonly called to be Nurses) yet can it not be, but that the mothers milke should be much more naturall for the childe, then the milke of a stranger. As by experience, let a man bee long vsed to one kinde of drinke, if the same man chaunge his ayre, and his drinke, he is like to mislike it. Lastly, for the mothers, howe are they troubled with sore breastes, besides other diseases that happen through plentie of milke, the which Phisitions can tell, and women full oft haue felt.

Likewise in speaking of fasting, I might vse this diuision. First, it is Godly to faste, because the spirite is more free, and apter for a good worke. Againe, it is wholsome, because thereby euill humours are wasted, and many diseases either clerely put away, or much abated of their tirannie. Lastly, it is profitable, because men spend lesse money, the lesse banqueting that they vse. Therefore, if men loue eitheir to be wise, Godly, healthful, or wealthie, let them vse fasting and forbeare excesse.

Now vpon a deuision, there might also be made a subdeuision, as where I say it is Godly to fast, I might deuide Godlinesse into the hearing of Gods worde, into praying deuoutly, and charitable dealing with all the worlde.

Againe, speaking of health, I might say that the whole body is not onely more lustie with moderate fasting, but also more apt for all assaies. The learned man studieth better when he fasteth, then when he is full. The counseler heareth causes with lesse pain being emptie, then he shalbe able after a full gorge.

Againe, whereas the fiue senses bring vs to the knowledge of many things: the more apt that euery one is, the more pleasure they bring euer with them. The eyes see more clerely, the eares heare more quickly, the tongue rowleth more roundly, and tasteth things better, our feeling is more perfite: and the nose smeleth euill sauours the soner.

Philosophie deuided.

Philosophie is deuided, into the knowledge of things naturall, things morall, and into that arte, which by reason findeth out the trueth, commonly called Logique. Now, of these three parts of Philosophie, I might make other three subdiuisions, and largely set them out. But these may suffice for this time.

¶ Of Propositions. QUintilian willeth, that straight and immediatly after the Narration, there should also bee vsed such sentences as might be full of pith, and containe in them the substaunce of much matter, the rather that the hearers may be stirred vpon the only report of some sentencious saying, or weightie text in the Lawe. As in speaking largely against extortion, one might after his reasons applied to the purpose, bring in a pithie and sentencious proposition: as thus. Those hands are euill that scratch out the eyes: and what other doe they that by force robbe their Christian brethren: Woe bee to that Realme, where might out goeth right. Or thus. When rage doth rule, and reason doth want, what good man can hope to liue long in rest. Also an act of a Realme, may well serue to make a proposition. As thus. The Law is plaine: that man shall die as an offender, whatsoeuer he be that breaketh vp an other mans house, and seeketh by spoyle to vndoe his neighbour. Now here is no man that doubteth, but that thou hast done this deede, therefore what needes any more, but that thou must suffer according to the law? In

Thankfulnesse,

what it is.

deuiding a matter, Propositions are vsed and orderly applied for the better setting forth of the cause. As if I should speake of thankfulnesse, I might first shew what is thankfulnesse, next how needfull it is, and last how commendable and profitable it is vniuersally? Thankfulnesse is a kinde of remembring good will shewed, and an earnest desire to requite the same. Without thankfulnesse no man would doe for an other. The brute beastes haue these properties, and therefore man cannot want them, without his great rebuke. Some propositions are plaine spoken, without any cause or reason added thereunto. As thus, I haue charged this man with Felonie, as you haue heard, but he denieth it, therefore

Deuision of

propositions.

iudge you it I pray you. Sometimes a cause added, after the aledging of a proposition. As thus: I haue accused this man of felonie, because he tooke my purse by the hye way side, and therefore I call for Iustice. Thus propositions might be gathered, next and immediatly after the rehearsall of any cause, and beautifie much the matter, beeing either alledged with the cause annexed, or els being plainely spoken, without giuing any reason at all. ¶ Of Confirmation of matters in iudgement. WHen we haue declared the chiefe points, whereunto we purpose to referre all our reasons, wee must heape matter, and finde out arguments to confirme the same to the vttermost of our power, making first the strongest reasons that wee can, and next after, gathering all the probable causes together, that being in one heape, they may seeme strong and of great weight. And whatsoeuer the aduersarie hath said

Causes of confirmation

two waies vsed.

against vs, to answere therevnto as time and place may best serue. That if his reasons bee light, and more good may bee done in confuting his, then in confirming our owne: it were best of all to set vpon him, and put away by Art, all that he hath fondly saied without wit. For prouing the matter, and searching out the substance or nature of the cause, the places of Logique must helpe to set it forwarde. But when the person shall bee touched, and not the matter, wee must seeke els where, and gather these places together.

{i. The name.

{ii. The maner of liuing.

{iii. Of what house he is, of what Countrey, and of

{      what yeares.

{iiii. The wealth of the man.

{v. His behauiour or daiely enuring with things.

{vi. What nature he hath.

{vii. Wherevnto he is most giuen.

{viii. What he purposeth from time to time.

{ix. What he hath done heretofore.

{x. What hath befalne vnto him heretofore.

{xi. What hee hath confessed, or what hee hath to

{      say for himselfe.

IN well examining of all these matters much may bee saied, and great likelihoodes may bee gathered either to or fro, the which places I vsed heretofore, when I spake of matters in Iudgement against the accused Souldier. Now in trying the troth, by reasons gathered of the matter: wee must first marke what was done at that time by the suspected person, when such and such offences were committed. Yea, what he did before this act was done. Again, the time must be marked, the place, the maner of doing, and what heart he bare him. As the opertunitie of doing, and the power he had to doe this deede. The which all set together shall either acquit him, or finde him giltie. These arguments serue to confirme a matter in iudgement, for any hainous offence. But in the other causes which are occupied, either in praising, or dispraising, in perswading, or disswading, the places of confirmation be such as are before rehearsed, as when we commende a thing, to proue it thus.

{Honest. }
{Profitable. }
{Easie. }	to be done.
{Necessarie.}

ANd so of other in like maner, or els to vse in steed of these the places of Logique. Therefore when wee goe about to confirme any cause, wee maie gather these groundes aboue rehearsed, and euen as the case requireth, so frame our

Confutation.

reasons. In confuting of causes the like may be had, as wee vsed to proue: if we take the contrary of the same. For as thinges are alledged, so they may be wrested, and as houses are builded, so they be ouerthrowne. What though many coniectures bee gathered, and diuers matters framed to ouerthrowe the defendant: yet wit may finde out bywaies to escape, and such shiftes may be made, either in auoiding the daunger by plaine deniall, or els by obiections, and rebounding againe of reasons made, that small harme shall turne to the accused person, though the presumptions of his offences be great, and bee thought by good reason to be faultie. The

Places of Logique

most needfull.

places of Logique as I saied, cannot bee spared for the confirmation of any cause. For who is he that in confirming a matter, will not knowe the nature of it, the cause of it, the effect of it, what is agreeing thereunto, what likenesse there is betwixt that and the other thinges, what examples may bee vsed, what is contrary, and what can be said against it. Therfore I wish that euery man should desire, & seeke to haue his Logique perfit, before he looke to profite in Rhetorique, considering the ground and confirmation of causes, is for the most part gathered out of Logique.

¶ The Conclusion.

Conclusion,

what it is.

A Conclusion, is the handsomely lapping vp together, and briefe heaping of all that which was saied before, stirring the hearers by large vtterance, and plentifull gathering of good matter, either the one way or the other.

There are two parts of a conclusion, the one resteth in gathering together briefly, all such arguments as were before rehearsed, reporting the somme of them in as fewe wordes as can bee, and yet after such a sorte, that much varietie bee

Conclusion of

two sorts.

vsed, both when the rehearsall is made, as also after the matter is fullie reported. For if the repetition should be naked, and only set forth in plaine words without any chaunge of speech, or shift of Rhetorique, neither should the hearers take pleasure, nor yet the matter take effect. Therefore, when the Orator shall touch any place, which may giue iust cause to make an exclamation, and stirre the hearers to bee sorie, to bee glad, or to bee offended: it is necessarie to vse Art to the vttermost. Or when he shall come to the repeating of an hainous act, and the maner thereof: hee may set the Iudges on fire, and heate them earnestly against the wicked offender. Thus in repeating, Art may be vsed, and next with the onely rehearsal, matters may bee handsomely gathered vp together. The other part of a conclusion, resteth either in augmenting and vehemently enlarging that, which before was in fewe wordes spoken to set the Iudge or hearers in a heate: or els to mittigate, & asswage displeasure conceiued with much lamenting of the matter, and moouing them thereby the rather to shewe mercie. Amplification is of two sorts, whereof I will speake more at large in the next chapter. The one resteth in wordes, the other in matter. Such wordes must be vsed as bee of great weight, wherein either is some Metaphore, or els some large vnderstanding is conteined. Yea, wordes that fill the mouth and haue a sound with them, set forth a matter very well. And sometimes wordes twise spoken, make the matter appeare greater.

Againe, when we first speake our minde in lowe wordes, and after vse weightier, the fault likewise seemeth the greater. As when one had killed a Gentleman, thus might an other amplifie his minde. For one slaue to strike an other, were worthie of punishment, but what deserueth that wretch, which not onely striketh a man, but striketh a Gentleman, and not onely striketh a Gentleman, but cowardly killeth a Gentleman, not giuing him one wound, but giuing him twentie. To kill any man in such sort deserueth death, but what say you of him, that not onely killeth him so, but also hangeth him most spitefully vpon a Tree. And yet not content with that, but scourgeth him and mangleth him when he is dead, & last of al maketh a iest of his most naughtie deede, leauing a writing there about the dead mans necke. Now then, seeing his crueltie is such, that the onely killing can not content his deuilish deede, and most deadly malice: I aske it for Gods loue, and in the way of Iustice, that this wicked deuill may suffer worthie death, and be punished to the example of al other. Amplifying of the matter consisteth in heaping and enlarging of those places, which serueth for confirmation of a matter. As the definition, the cause, the consequent, the contrary, the example, and such other.

Againe, amplification may bee vsed when wee make the lawe to speake, the dead person to make his complaint, the Countrey to crye out of such a deede. As if some worthie man were cast away, to make the Countrie say thus: if England could speake, would she not make such and such complaintes? If the walles of such a citie or towne had a tongue, would they not talke thus and thus? And to be short, al such things should bee vsed, to make the cause seeme great, which concerne God, or Common weale, or the Lawe of Nature. For if any of these three bee hindered, wee haue a large fielde to walke in. In praising or dispraising, wee must exaggerate those places towardes the ende, which make men wonder at the straungenesse of any thing. In perswading or disswading the rehearsall of commodities, and heaping of examples together increase much the matter. It were a great labour to tell all the commodities, and all the properties which belong vnto the conclusion. For such art may bee vsed in this behalfe, that though the cause bee very euill, yet a wittie man may get the ouerhand, if he be cunning in his facultie.

Athenians forbad

conclusions.

The Athenians therefore did straightly forbid by a Lawe, to vse any conclusion of the cause, or any enterance of the matter to winne fauour. Cicero did herein so excell, that lightly he got the victorie in all matters that euer he tooke in hand. Therefore as iust praise ariseth by this part, so I doubt not but the wittiest wil take most paines in this behalfe, and the honest for euer will vse the defence of most honest matters. Weapons may be abused for murther, and yet weapons are onely ordeined for safegard.

¶ Of the figure Amplification. AMong all the figures of Rhetorique, there is no one that so much helpeth forward an Oration, and beautifieth the same with such delightfull ornaments, as doth amplification. For if either wee purpose to make our tale appeare vehement, to seeme pleasant, or to be well storied with copie: needes must it be that here we seeke helpe, where helpe chiefly is to be had, and not els where. And now because none shal better

Amplification.

be able to amplifie any matter, then those which best can praise, or most dispraise any thing here vpon earth, I thinke it needfull first of all, to gather such thinges together which helpe best this way. Therefore in praising or dispraising, wee must bee well stored euer with such good sentences, as are often vsed in this our life, the which thorowe arte beeing increased, helpe much to perswasion. As for example, where it is saied (gentle behauiour winneth good will, and clerely quencheth hatered) I might in commending a noble Gentleman for his lowlinesse, declare at large how commendable and how profitable a thing gentle behauiour is, and of the other side, how hatefull and how harmefull a proude disdainfull man is, and how beastly a nature he hath, that being but a man, thinketh himselfe better then any other man is, & also ouer good to haue a match or fellowe in this life. As thus, if lowlinesse and charitie maintaine life, what a beast is he that through

Lowlinesse.

hatered will purchase death? If God warneth vs to loue one an other, and learne of him to bee gentle, because he was gentle and humble in heart: How cruell are they that dare withstande his Commaundement? If the Subiect rebell against his King, wee crye with one voyce, hang him, hang him, and shall we not think him worthie the vilest death of all, that being a creature, contemneth his Creatour, being a mortall man, neglecteth his heauenly maker, beeing a vilde moulde of Clay, setteth light by so mightie a GOD, and euer liuing King? Beastes and birdes without reason loue one an other, they shroude and they flocke together, and shall men endued with such giftes, hate his euen Christian, and eschue companie? When Sheepe doe stray, or Cattell do striue one against an other, there are Dogges readie to call them in: yea, they will bite them (as it hath beene full often seene) if two fight together: and shall man want reason, to barke against his lewde affections, or at the least shall he haue none to checke him for his faultes, and force him to forgiue?

Backbiting

Likewise if you would rebuke one that giueth eare to backbiters and slaunderers, you must declare what a great mischiefe an euill tongue is, what a poyson it is, yea, what a murder to take a mans good name from him. We coumpt him worthie death, that poysoneth a mans bodie, and shall not he suffer the like paine, that poysoneth a mans honestie, and seeketh to obscure and darken his estimation? Men be wel excepted among the wise, not for their bodies, but for their vertues. Now take away the thing whereby men are commended: and what are men other then brute beastes? For beastes doe nothing against Nature, but he that goeth against honestie, the same man fighteth against Nature, which would that all men should liue well. When a man is killed secretly, we aske iudgement for the offendour, and shal they escape without iudgement, that couertly murther a mans soule? That separate him from God, that iudge him to Hell, whose life hath euer been most heauenly? When our purse is picked, we make straight search for it againe, and imprison the offender, and shall we not seeke recouerie of our good name, when euill tongues haue stained it? If our fame be more prise, then is either Golde or groates, what meane wee to bee so carelesse in keeping the one, and so carefull in keeping the other? Fond is his purpose, that being in the Raine, casteth his garment in a bush, and standeth naked himself, for sauing the glosse of his gay coate. And yet what other thing doe they, that esteeme the losse of money for great lack, & compt not the losse of their honestie for any want at all? Thus we see, that from vertue, and vice, such amplifications may be made, and no doubt he that can praise, or dispraise any thing plentifully, is able most copiously to exaggerate any matter.

Againe, sentences gathered or heaped together, commende

Sentences gathered to

helpe amplification.

Reuengement forbidden.

much the matter. As if one should say, Reuengement belongeth to GOD alone, and thereby exhort men to pacience. He might bring in these sentences with him, and giue great cause of much matter. No man is hurt but of himselfe, that is to say: aduersitie or wrong suffering is no harme to him that hath a constant heart, and liues vpright in all his doings.

He is more harmed that doth wrong, then he that hath suffered wrong.

He is the stouter that contemneth, then he that committeth wrong.

Yea, he gaineth not a little, that had rather suffer much losse, then trie his right by contention.

Gaine got by fraude, is harme and no gaine.

There is no greater victorie, then for man to rule his affections.

It is a greater matter to ouercome anger, then to winne a fortresse or tower.

There is no greater token of a noble heart, then to contemne wrong.

He that requiteth euill for euil, through hatred of an euil man, is made euill himself, and therefore worthie to be hated.

He that contemneth his enemie in battaile, is coumpted a good man of warre, and a wise.

He that requiteth good for euill, is an Angell of God.

He that mindeth reuengement, is at the next doore to man slaughter.

God is moued with nothing soner to forgiue vs our offences, then if we for his sake, forgiue one an other.

The requiting of iniuries, hath no ende.

Strife is best ended through pacience.

Anger is a madnesse, differing from it in this point only, that anger is short and tarieth not long, madnesse abideth still.

It is a follie to suffer the fome of a horse, or the striking of his foote, and not abide any thing that a foole doth, or a naughtie disposed fellowe speaketh.

No man trusteth a dronkard: and yet seeing the dronkennesse of rage, and madnesse of anger, are much more daungerous then surfetting with Wine: he doth foolishly that trusteth his owne wit any thing, when he is in a rage.

Good deedes should alwaies bee remembred, wrong doing should sone be forgiuen, and sone be forgotten.

Liberalitie commended

with heapes of sentences.

Againe for liberalitie, these sentences might serue.

It is the propertie of God, to helpe man.

He hath receiued a good turne by giuing, that hath bestowed his liberalitie vpon a worthie man.

He giueth twise, that giueth sone and cherefully.

God loueth the glad giuer.

It is a point of liberalitie, sometime to lose a good turne.

Hee that giueth to him that euill vse it, giueth no good thing but an euill thing.

Nothing is more safe laied vp, then is that which is bestowed vpon good folke.

Be not afraied to sowe good fruite.

Nothing is better giuen to Christ, then is that which is giuen to the poore.

No one man is borne for himselfe.

He is vnworthie to haue, that hath onely for himselfe.

The third kind of amplification, is when we gather such sentences as are commonly spoken, or els vse to speake of such things as are notable in this life. Of the first, these

Prouerbes alledged

help amplification.

may bee examples. In lamenting the miserie of Wardships, I might say, it is not for nought, so commonly saied: I will handle you like a Warde. She is a steppe mother to me, that is to say, she is not a naturall mother: who is worse shod then the Shoomakers wife? That is to say: Gentlemens children full oft are kept but meanly. Trot sire, and trot damme, how should the Fole amble, that is, when both father and mother were nought, it is not like that the childe will proue good, without an especiall grace of God.

Likerish of tongue, light of taile: That is, he or she that will fare daintely, will oft liue full wantonlie. Sone ripe, sone rotten. Honour chaungeth maners. Enough is as good as a feast. It is an euill Cooke, that cannot licke his owne fingers. I will soner trust mine eye, then mine eare. But what neede I heape all these together, seeing Heywooddes Prouerbes are in Print, where plenty are to be had: whose paines in that behalf, are worthie immortall praise.

Thinges notable in this life are those, the which chaunce to fewe: As this: To see a man of an hundred yeares of age.

Thinges notable or straunge,

helpe forward

amplification.

A yong childe as sober, as a man of fiftie yeares. A woman that hath had twentie and fower children. A man once worth three or fower thousand pound, now not worth a groate. A young man fairer then a woman. A woman that hath had seuen or eight husbands. A man able to drawe a yarde in his Bowe, besides the feathers. A man merie now, and dead within halfe an hower after. There is none of all these, but serue much to make our talke appeare vehement, and encrease the weight of communication. As for example. If one would perswade an olde man to contemne the vanities of this world, he might vse the examples of sodaine death, and shewe that children haue died in their mothers lappe, some in their Cradle, some striplinges, some elder, and that not one among a thousand commeth to three score yeares. Or bee it that some liue an hundred yeares, beyond the which, not one in this last age passeth. What is there in this life, for the which any man should desire to liue long, seeing that old age bringeth this onely commoditie with it, that by long liuing we see many things that wee would not see, and that many a man hath shortened his life, for wearinesse of this wretched worlde. Or what though some pleasures are to be had in this life, what are they all to the pleasures of the life to come? Likewise in speaking of euill happe, I might bring him in that was once worth three thousand pounde, and is not now worth three groates, and perswade men either to set light by riches, or els to comfort them, and perswade them not to take thought, seeing great harme happened to other heretofore, and time may come when God will send better. These sentences aboue rehearsed, being largely amplified, encrease much any such kinde of matter.

¶ What is Amplification[?] AMplification is a figure in Rhetorique, which consisteth most in augmenting, and diminishing of any matter, and that diuers waies. ¶ The deuision of amplification. AMplification and diminishing, either is taken out of the substances in thinges, or els of wordes. Out of the substances and matter affections are deruied: out of wordes such kindes of amplifications as I will now shewe, and partly haue shewed before, when I spake of the conclusion, or lapping vp of any matter.

The first kinde of amplification is, when by changing a word, in augmenting wee vse a greater, but in diminishing, wee vse a lesse. Of the first this may bee an example. When I see one sore beaten, to say he is slaine: to call a naughtie fellowe theefe, or hangman, when he is not knowne to be any such. To call a woman that hath made a scape, a common Harlot: to call an Alehouse haunter a dronkard: to call one that is troubled with Choler and often angrie, a mad man: to call a pleasaunt Gentleman, a rayling Iester: to call a couetous man a Deuill.

Or the latter, these examples shalbe: when one hath sore beaten his fellow, for the same man to say, that he hath scant touched him. When one hath sore wounded an other, to say he hurt him but a little: when one is sore sicke, to bee said

Diminution.

he is a little crased. In like maner also, when wee giue vices the names of vertues: as when I call him that is a cruell or mercilesse man, somewhat sore in iudgement. When I call a naturall foole, a plaine simple man: when I call a notable flatterer, a faire spoken man: a glutton, a good fellowe at his Table: a spendall, a liberall Gentleman: A snudge or pinch penie, a good husband, a thriftie man.

Now in all these kindes, where wordes are amplified they seeme much greater, if by correction the sentence be vttered, and greater wordes compared with them, for whom they are vttered. In the which kinde of speech, we shall seeme as though we went vp by stayers, not only to the toppe of

Correction.

a thing, but also aboue the top. There is an example here of in the seuenth action that Tullie made against Verres. It is an offence, to binde a Citezein of Roome with chaines, it is an hainous deede to whip him: it is worse then manslaughter to kill him, what shall I call it to hang him vp vpon a Gibbet? If one would commende the aucthoritie, which he alledgeth, he might say thus. These wordes are no fables vttered among men, but an assured trueth left vnto vs by writing, and yet not by any common writing, but by such as all the world hath confirmed and agreed vpon, that it is autentique and canonicall: neither are they the words of one that is the common sort, but they are the wordes of a Doctor in the Church of God, and yet not the wordes of a Deuine, or Doctor of the common sort, but of an Apostle: and yet not one that is the worst, but of Paule that is the best of all other: and yet not Paules, but rather the words of the holy Ghost, speaking by the mouth of Paule. He that loueth to enlarge by this kinde, must marke well the circumstaunces of thinges, and heaping them altogether, hee shall with ease espie how one thing riseth aboue an other. And because the vse hereof extendeth largely, I will largely vse examples. As thus. If a Gentleman & an officer of the Kings, being ouercharged at Supper with ouer much drinke, and surfetting with gorge vpon gorge, should vomite the next day in the Parliament house: I might enueigh thus: O shamefull deede, not onely in sight to be lothed, but also odious of all men to be heard. If thou haddest done this deede at thine house, being at Supper with thy wife and children, who would not haue thought it a filthie deed? But now for thee to doe it in the Parliament house, among so many Gentlemen, and such, yea, the best in all England, beeing both an Officer of the Kings, and a man of much authoritie, and there to cast out gobbettes (where belching were thought great shame) yea and such gobbets as none could abide the smell, and to fill the whole house with euill fauour, and thy whole bosome with much filthines, what an abhominable shame is it aboue all other? It had beene a foule deede of it selfe, to vomite where no such gentlemen were: yea, where no gentlemen were: yea where no English men were: yea, where no men were: yea, where no companie were at all: or it had beene euill, if he had borne no maner of office, or had beene no publique officer, or had not bene the Kings officer: but being not onely an officer, but a publique officer, and that the Kings officer: yea, and such a Kings, and doing such a deede: I cannot tell in the world, what to say to him. Diuers examples may bee inuented like vnto this. As thus, against an hedd Officer in a Noble mans house, I might enueigh thus. Now Lord, what a man is he, he was not ashamed being a Gentleman, yea, a man of good yeares, and much aucthoritie, and the hedd Officer of a Dukes house, to play at Dice in an Alehouse with boyes, bawdes and verlets. It had beene a great fault to play at so vile a game among such vile persons, being not Gentleman, being no officer, being not of such yeares: but being both a man of faire Lands, of an auncient house, of great aucthoritie, an Officer of a Duke, yea, and to such a Duke, and a man of such yeares, that his white heares should warne him to auoyd al such follie, to play at such a game with such Roysters and such verlets, yea, and that in such an house as none comes thither but Theeues, Bawdes, and Ruffians: now before God, I cannot speake shame enough on him.

There is an other kinde of Amplification, when vnto the hiest there is added some thing higher then it is. As thus. There is no better Preacher among them all, except Hugh Latimer, the Father of al Preachers. There is no better Latine man within England, except Gualter Haddon the Lawyer. Againe, we amplifie a matter not ascending by degrees, but speaking that thing onely, then the which no greater thing can be spoken. As thus. Thou hast killed thine owne Mother, what shall I say more, thou hast killed thine owne Mother. Thou hast deceiued thy Soueraigne Lorde and King, what shall I say more, thou hast deceiued thy Soueraigne Lord and King.

Sometime we amplifie by comparing, and take our ground vpon the weakest and least, the which if they seeme great, then must that needes appeare great, which wee would amplifie and increase. As Tullie against Catiline. My seruaunts in good soth, if they feared me in such sort, as all the Citizens doe feare thee: I would thinke it best for me to forsake my house. Thus by vsing the least first, this sentence is increased, fewe seruaunts are compared with all the Citizens, bondmen are compared with free men: Tullie their Maister, is compared with Catiline the Traytour, which was neither Lorde nor ruler ouer the Citizeins: and Tullies house is compared with the Citie.

By comparing of examples, we vse also to encrease our matter. As thus. Did the Maior of London thrust through Iacke Strawe, being but a verlet rebell, and onely disquieting the Citie: and shal the King suffer Captaine Kete to liue in Englands ground, and enioye the fruites of the Realme, being a most tyrannous Traytour, and such a Rebell as sought to ouerthrowe the whole Realme.

Here is Iacke Strawe compared with Captain Kete, the Citie of London with the whole Realme, the Maior with the King. So that if he which is a priuate person, and hath no power of death, might punish with death the disquieting of a Citie: the King himselfe hauing all power in his hand, maie iustly punish him, that seeketh to ouerthrowe his whole Realme.

The places of Logique helpe oft for Amplification. As where men haue a wrong opinion, and thinke Theft a greater fault than slaunder, one might proue the contrarie, as well by circumstaunces, as by arguments. And first he might shewe that slaunder is Theft, and euery slaunderer is a Theefe. For

Slaunder a greater

offence then Theft.

as well the slaunderer as the Theefe, doe take away an other mans possession against the owners will. After that he might shewe, that a slaunderer is worse then any Theefe, because a good name is better then all the goodes in the world, and that the losse of money may be recouered, but the losse of a mans good name, cannot bee called backe againe, and a Theefe may restore that againe, which he hath taken away, but a slaunderer cannot giue a man his good name againe, which he hath taken from him. Againe, he that stealeth goodes or cattell, robbes onely but one man, but an euill tongued man infecteth all their mindes: vnto whose eares this report shall come.

Besides this, there are Lawes and remedies to subdue Theeues: but there is no lawe against an euill tongue. Againe, al such hainous offences, are euer the more greuously punished, the more closely and more craftely they are committed. As it is thought a greater fault to kill one with poyson, then to kill him with the sworde, and a more hainous offence to commit murther, then to commit manslaughter: wee may gather an argument also from the instrument or maner of doing. As a theefe hath done this offence with his hande, a slaunderer hath done it with his tongue. Againe, by the iudgement of all men, enchauntment is a notable euil: but they that infect a Prince or King with wicked counsail, are not they more wicked enchaunters, considering they doe as much, as if one should poyson a Conduite head, or a Riuer, from whence all men fetch their water. And yet they doe more, for it is a greater fault to poyson the minde, then the bodie. Thus by the places and circumstaunces, great matters might be made.

By contraries set together, things oftentimes appearre greater. As if one should set Lukes Veluet against Geane Veluet, the Lukes will appeare better, and the Geane will seeme worser. Or set a faire woman against a foule, and she shal seeme much the fairer, and the other much the fouler. According whereunto there is a saying in Logique: Contraria inter se opposita magis elucescunt. That is to say. Contraries being set the one against the other, appeare more euident. Therfore, if any one be disposed to set forth chastitie, he may bring in of the contrary part whoredome, and shewe what a foule offence it is to liue so vncleanly, and then the deformitie of whoredome, shall much set forth chastitie: or if one bee disposed to perswade his fellowe to learning and knowledge, he may shewe of the contrarie, what a naked wretch man is: yea, how much a man is no man, and the life no life, when learning once wanteth. The like helpe we maie haue by comparing like examples together, either of creatures liuing or of thinges not liuing: as in

Storkes.

speaking of constancie, to shewe the Sunne, who euer keepeth one course: in speaking of inconstancie, to shewe the Moone which keepeth no certaine course. Againe, in young Storkes, we may take an example of loue towards their damme, for when she is old, and not able for her crooked bill to picke meate, the yong ones feede her. In yong Vipers

Vipers.

there is a contrary example (for as Plinie saieth) they eate out their dammes wombe, and so come forth. In Hennes there is a care to bring vp their Chickens: in Egles the contrary, which cast out their Egges, if they haue any moe then three: and all because they would not be troubled with bringing vp of many.

There is also a notable kinde of amplification, when we would extenuate and make lesse great faultes, which before wee did largely increase: to the ende that other faultes might seeme the greatest aboue all other. As if one had robbed his Maister, thrust his fellowe through the arme, accompanied with Harlots, kept the Tauerne till he had bene as dronke as a Ratte. To say after a large Inuectiue, against all these offences. You haue heard a whole Court role of Ribaudrie, and yet all these are but flea bitings, in respect and comparison of that, which I shal now shew you. Who doth not looke for marueilous great matter, and a most hainous offence, when these faultes that are thought most greeuous, are coumpted but flea bytings, in respect and comparison of that, which he mindeth to rehearse? In like maner one might exhort the people to godlinesse, and whereas he hath set forth all the commodities that followe the same, as in shewing a quiet conscience, not giltie of any great fault, the libertie of the Spirite, the peace which we haue with GOD, the fellowshippe with all the elect, for the seruaunt of Sathan, to bee the sonne of God, the comfort of the soule, the greatnesse whereof no man is able to conceiue: to say at length, and what can be greater, what can be more excellent, or more blisfull? And yet al these are small matters, if they be compared with the blessed inheritaunce of the euer liuing God, prepared for all those that liue godly here vpon earth, fastning their whole trust vpon Christ aboue, which both is able, and will saue all those, that call vnto him with faith. We doe encrease our cause by reasoning the matter, and casting our accoumpt, when either by things that followe, or by thinges that goe before, or els by such things as are annexed with the matter, wee giue sentence how great the thing is. By thinges going before, I iudge when I see an enuious or hastie man, fight with an other as hastie, that there is like to bee bloudshed. As who should say, can enuious or hastie men match together, but that they must needes trie the matter with bloudshedding. Assuredly it cannot be otherwise, but that blood must appease their rage. Likewise, seing two wise men earnestly talking together, I cannot otherwise iudge, but that their talke must needes bee wittie, and concerne some weightie matter. For to what ende should wise men ioyne, or wherefore should they laie their heddes together, if it were not for some earnest cause? What a shame is it for a strong man, of much health, and great manhood, to be ouercome with a cuppe of drinke. From thinges ioyned with the cause, thus. A woman hauing her housband emprisoned, and in daunger of death, sodainly stept before the King and craued his pardon. Bold was that woman, which durst aduenture to kneele before a King, whose housband had so greeuously offended. Though women by nature are fearefull, yet in her appeared a manly stomacke, and a good bolde harte, yea, euen in greatest daunger. By thinges that followe, thus. All England lament the death of Duke Henry, and Duke Charles, two noble brethren of the house of Suffolk. Then may we well iudge that these two Gentlemen, were wonderfully beloued, when they both were so lamented.

There is a kinde of amplifying, when in speaking of two that fought together, we praise him much that had the worse, because we would the other to haue more praise. Considering for a man to beate a boye, it were no praise, but for a tall man to match with an other, that were as tall as him self: that were somwhat worth. Therefore, I would haue the Scottes well praised, whom the Englishmen haue so often vanquished. He that praiseth much the strong holde of Boleine, must needes thereby praise King Henry the eight of Englande, who by Martiall power wonne it, and kept it all his life tyme. Or thus: such a one keepes a marueilous good house, for the worst boye in his house, drinkes one and the same drinke with his Maister: and all one bread, yea, euery one hath his meate in siluer, Chamber vessels, and all are of siluer. Wee iudge by Apparell, by Armour, or by harnesse, what a man is of stature or bignesse. We iudge by occasion the goodnes of men, as when they might haue done harme, they would not: when they might haue slaine, they sought rather to saue. From the place were one is, encrease may be gathered. As thus. Being euen in the Court he was neuer moued to gaming: being at Rome, he hated Harlots, where there is by report, so great plentie as there are starres in the Element.

From the time thus, hee must needes bee well learned in the lawes of our Realme, that hath bene a student this thirtie Winter.

From the age: assuredly, he is like to be good, for being but a childe he was euer most Godly.

From the state of life: no doubt but he is honest, for being but a seruaunt, he liued so vprightly, as none could iustly blame his life.

From the hardnesse of a thing. That which is almost onely proper to Angels, must needes be hard for man: therefore, Chastitie is a rare gift, and hard for man to keepe.

From the straightnesse of a thing. Eloquence must needes be a wonderfull thing, when so fewe haue attained it.

Likewise, notable aduentures done by a fewe, are more praise worthie, then such as haue bene done by a great number. Therefore, the battaile of Muskelborowe, against the Scottes, where so fewe Englishmen were slaine, and so many Scottes dispatched: must needes be more praise worthie, then if the nomber of Englishmen had bene greater.

Vehemencie of words, full often helpe the matter forwardes when more is gathered by cogitation, then if the thing had bene spoken in plaine wordes. When we heare one saie, such a man swelled, seeing a thing against his minde, we gather that he was then more then halfe angry. Againe, when we heare one say, such a woman spittes fire, we gather straight that she is a deuill. The Preacher thundered in the Pulpit, belike then he was meetely hotte. But concerning all such speeches, the knowledge of a Metaphore, shall bring men to much knowledge, whereof I wil speake hereafter among the figures: and therefore, I surcease to speake of it in this place.

We encrease our cause, by heaping of words and sentences together, touching many reasons into one corner, which before were scattered abroade, to the intent that our talke might appere more vehement. As when by many coniectures and greate presumptions, we gather that one is an offendour,

Amplification

by coniectures.

heaping them all into one plumpe, which before were sparpled abroade, and therefore did but little good. As thus: to proue by coniectures, a murder committed, I might thus say, against a suspected person. My Lordes, doe not weye my wordes and sentences seuerally, but consider them altogether. If the accused person here, shal receiue profite by this other mans death, if his life heretofore hath euer been euill, his nature couetous, his wealth most slender, and that this dead mans goods could turne to no mans auaile so much, as vnto this accused person, and that no man could so easily dispatch hym, and that this man could by no better meanes compasse his desire, and that nothing hath beene vnattempted, which might further his naughtie purpose, and nothing done, that was thought needlesse, and seeing a meete place, was chiefly sought for, and occasion serued very well, and the tyme was most apt for such an attempt, and many meanes heretofore deuised to compasse this offence, and great hope both to keepe it close, and also to dispatche it, and besides that, seeing this man was seene alone, a little before in the same place where this other man was slaine, and that this mans voyce which did slaie hym was heard a little before in the same place, where this other man was slain, and seeing it is well knowne that this man came home late the same night, and the next day after being examined, did answere confusedly, fearefully, and as though he were amased, and seeing all these things are partly shewed by witnesses, partly by good reason, partly by his owne confession, and partly by the reporte that commonly goeth of hym, which by like is not spoken without some ground: It shall be your partes, worthy Iudges, weying all these things together, to giue certaine iudgement of him for his offence, and not to thinke it a matter of suspition. For it might haue been, that three or fower of these coniectures beeing prooued, might giue but only a cause of suspition, but whereas al these together are plainly proued by him, it can not be otherwise but that he hath offended.

It is an excellent kinde of amplifying, when things encreased, and things diminished, are both sette together, that the one may the rather beautifie the other. As if, when Gods goodnesse towards vs, were largely amplified, wee did straight extenuate our vnthankfulnesse towards him againe. As thus: Seing God hath made man a creature vnto his owne likenesse, seeing he hath giuen him life, and the spirite of vnderstanding, endewing hym with his manifold graces, & redeming him, not with vile money, but with his owne precious body, suffering death, and blouddsheding vppon the Crosse, the rather that man might liue for euer: what an vnthankfull part is it, yea, what an hainous thing it is for man so oft to offende, so oft to wallowe in such his wickednesse, and euermore for Gods louing kindnesse, to shewe himselfe of all other creatures most vnkinde.

Likewise, contraries being rehearsed, and the euill immediatly vttered after the good, make much for encrease. As many men now a daies for Sobrietie, follow Gluttonie: for Chastitie, take Lecherie: for trueth, like falshood: for gentlenesse, seeke crueltie: for Iustice, vse wrong dealing: for Heauen, Hel: for God, the Deuill: to whom they will without peraduenture, if Gods grace be not greater.

¶ Of mouing affections. BEcause the beautie of amplifying, standeth most in apt mouing of affections: It is needfull to speake somewhat in this behalfe, that the better it may be knowen what they are, and howe it may bee vsed. Affections therefore (called Passions) are none other thing, but a stirring or forsing of the minde, either to desire, or els to detest and loth any thing, more vehemently then by nature we are commonly wont to doe.

Affections

mouing.

We desire those things, we loue them, and like them earnestly, that appeare in our iudgement to be godly: wee hate and abhorre those things that seeme naught, vngodly, or harmefull vnto vs. Neither onely are wee moued with those things, which wee thinke either hurtfull, or profitable for our selues, but also we reioyce, we be sorie, or wee pittie an other mans happe.

And euermore there are two things, which mooue vs either this waie, or that waie. The matter selfe which doth happen, or is like to happen: and the person also whom the matter doth concerne. As for example: If a wicked wretch haue his desertes, we are all glad to heare it, but if an innocent should be cast awaie, we thinke much of it, and in stomacke repine against wrong iudgement. If an euill man finde much fauour, we enuie his good hap, yea, it greeueth vs, that any one such, should haue such fauour shewed: and not onely doe we hate the euill that are come to any wealth, but also we enuie commonly all such as come to any preferment, especially, if either they haue bene as poore men as we are, or els came of a meaner house then we haue done. Noe one man would haue any to be better then himself, and euery one enhableth his owne gooddes, to deserue like dignitie with the best. And where as some haue gotte before, starting sodainly from an inch to an ell, we spare not to say, that flatterie made them speed, and though they haue much goodes, yet are they clere voyde of all goodnesse, and therefore much good may it do them, we would not come by goodes in such sort, to winne all the worlde. For the deuill and they (say wee) shall part stakes with them one day. And thus we can neuer be content to giue our neighbour a good worde. Yea, though they haue serued right well, and deserued a greater reward, wee must needes finde some fault with them to lessen their praises, and say that though their desertes be greate, yet their natures are nought: none so proude, though fewe bee so hardie, none so enuious, though few so faithful: none so couetous though fewe so liberall: none so gluttonous, though fewe keepe such an house. And thus, though we graunt them one thing, yet we will take an other thing as fast againe from them.

Such a man is an excellent fellow (saith one) he can speake the tongues well, he plaies of Instruments, fewe men better, he feigneth to the Lute, marueilous sweetely, he endites excellently, but for all this (the more is the pitie) he hath his faultes, he wil be dronke once a day, he loues women well,

With praysing,

dispraysing vsed.

he will spend Gods Coope if he had it, he will not tary long in one place, and he is somewhat large of his tongue. That if these faultes were not, surely he were an excellent fellowe. Euen as one should saie: if it were not for lying and stealing, there were not an honester man then such a one is, that perchaunce hath some one good qualitie to set him forward. These buttes be too broade, and these barres be ouer bigge, for looke what is giuen to one by commending, the same is straight taken away by butting. Therefore, such are not to bee liked that giue a man a shoulder of Mutton, and breake his head with the Spitte when they haue done. And yet, this is many a mans nature, especially, where enuie hath any grounded dwelling place, whose propertie is alwaies to speake nothing of other, without reproach and slaunder.

In mouing affections, and stirring the Iudges to be greeued, the waight of the matter must be set forth, as though they sawe it plaine before their eyes, the report must be such, and

Description of an

euill and wicked offence

done.

the offence made so hainous, that the like hath not bene seen heretofore, and all the circumstaunce must thus be heaped together: The naughtinesse of his nature that did the deede, the cruell ordering, the wicked dealing, and malicious handling, the tyme, the place, the maner of his doing, and the wickednesse of his will to haue done more. The man that sustained the wrong, how litle he deserued, how well hee was esteemed among his neighbours, how small cause he gaue him, how great lack men haue of him. Now, if this be not reformed, no good man shall liue saufe, the wicked will ouerflow all the world, and best it were for saufegard to be nought also, and so take part with them, for no good man shall go quiet for them if there be not speedie redresse found, and this fault punished to the example of all other.

Quintilian coucheth together in these fewe wordes, the full heape of such an hainous matter, by gathering it vp after this sorte.

{i. What is done.

{ii. By whom.

{iii. Against whom.

{iiij. Vpon what mind.

{v. At what time.

{vj. In what place.

{vij. After what sorte.

{viij. How much he would haue done.

What is done.

By whom.

IF one be beaten blacke and blewe, we take it greeuously: But if one be slaine, wee are much more troubled. Againe, if a slaue or ruffine shall doe such a deede, we are displeased: but if an officer, a Preacher, or an hed Gentleman should vse any slauerie, we are much more greeued. Yea, for if a very

Against whom.

Vpon what minde.

notable euill man commit such an horrible offence, wee thinke him worthie to haue the lesse fauour. If a sturdie fellow be stroken, wee are not so much disquieted, as if a childe, a woman, an aged man, a good man, or a chiefe officer, should be euil vsed. If the offence be committed vpon a prepensed minde, and wilfully, wee make much more a doe, then if it were done by chauncemedly. If it be done

At what time.

In what place.

vpon an holy daie, or els vpon the day of Assise, or vpon the daie of a Kings Coronation, or about such a solempne time, or if it be done in the night, rather then at noone daies, we make the matter greater, then if it had beene done at an other time. In the Court if one strike a man, it is thought greater, then if he should strike him in the open streate. The maner of doing also, doth much moue the pacience of men,

After what sorte.

as if one should cowardly kill one, and strike him sodainely, he were worthie greater blame, then if hee should manfully set vpon him: or if one kill his fellowe secretly with a Gunne, he were worthie more hatred, then if he killed him with a sworde, or if he wounded him sore, or cruelly mangeled him,

How much he wold.

we crie out much more then if he had barely killed him. And last of all, if his will had bene to haue done much more then he did: we encrease our anger against his rage much more, then euer wee would els haue done.

¶ Of mouing pitie. NOW in mouing pitie, and stirring men to mercie, the wrong done, must first be plainly tolde: or if the Iudges haue sustained the like extremitie, the best were to wil them, to remember their owne state, how they haue bene abused in like maner, what wrongs they haue suffered by wicked doers: that by hearing their owne, they may the better harken to others.

Againe, whereas all other miseries that befall vnto man, are greeuous to the eare, there is nothing more hainous, then to heare that the most honest men are sonest ouerthrowen, by them that are most wicked, and vertue put to flight through the only might of vice. That if the like hath not happened vnto the hearers of this cause, yet it were meete to shewe them that the like may happen, and so require them to giue iudgement in this cause, as they would do in their owne, and remember that harme may chaunce to euery one, that perhappes chaunceth to any one. And no doubt euery man remembring himselfe, and his owne case, will looke well about him and giue iudgement according to right.

He that will stirre

affections to other,

must first be moued

himselfe.

Neither can any good bee done at all, when wee haue sayd all that euer we can, except we bring the same affections in our own harte, the which we would the Iudges should beare towards our owne matter. For how can he be greeued with the reporte of any hainous act, either in stomaking the naughtinesse of the deede, or in bewayling the miserable misfortune of the thing, or in fearing much, the like euill hereafter: except the Oratour himselfe vtter such passions outwardly, and from his heart fetch his complaints in such

Heate, causeth heate.

sorte, that the matter may appeare, both more greeuous to the eare, and therewith so hainous, that it requires earnestly a speedie reformation? There is no substaunce of it selfe, that wil take fire, except ye put fire to it. Likewise, no mans nature is so apt, straight to be heated, except the Oratour himselfe, be on fire, and bring his heate with him. It is a common saying, nothing kindleth soner than fire. And therefore a fierie stomacke causeth euermore a fierie tongue. And he that is heated with zeale and godlinesse, shall set other on fire with like affection. No one man can better enueigh against vice, then he can do which hateth vice with all his heart. Againe, nothing moisteth soner then water. Therefore, a weeping eye causeth much moisture, and prouoketh teares. Neither is it any maruaile, for such

A weeping eye

prouoketh

moysture.

men, both in their countenaunce, tongue, eyes, gesture, and in all their bodie els, declare an outward griefe, and with wordes so vehemently and vnfeinedly sets it forward, that they will force a man to be sory with them, and take part with their teares euen against his wil. Notwithstanding when such affections are moued, it were good not to stand long in them. For though a vehement talke may mooue teares, yet no arte can long holde them. For as Cicero doth say, nothing drieth soner then teares, especially when we lament an other mans cause, and be sorie with him for his sake.

But now that I haue taught men to be sorie, I will attempt againe to make them merie, and shewe what learned men saie, concerning laughter, in deliting the hearers, when tyme and place shall best require.

¶ Of deliting the hearers, and stirring
them to laughter. COnsidering the dulnesse of mans Nature, that neither it can be attentiue to heare, nor yet stirred to like or alow any tale long told, except it be refreashed, or finde some sweete delite: the learned haue by witte and labour, deuised much varietie. Therefore, sometimes in telling a waightie

Laughter mouing.

matter, they bring in some heauie tale, and moue them to be right sorie, whereby the hearers are more attentiue. But after when they are wearied, either with tediousnesse of the matter, or heauinesse of the report: some pleasaunt matter is inuented, both to quicken them againe, and also to keepe them from sacietie. But surely fewe there be that haue this gift, in due time to cheare men. Neither can any do it, whom Nature hath not framed, and giuen an aptnesse thereunto.

Some mans countenance wil make pastime, though he speake neuer a worde. Yea, a foolish worde vttered by an apt man, or a gesture straungely vsed by some pleasaunt bodie, settes men full oft vpon a laughter. And whereas some thinke it a trifle to haue this gift, and so easie, that euery varlet or common iesture, is able to matche with the best: yet it appeareth that they which vtterly can be pleasaunt, and when time serueth can giue a merie aunswere, or vse a nipping taunt, shall be able to abashe a right worthie man, and make him at his wittes ende, through the sodaine quicke, and vnlooked frumpe giuen. I haue knowne some so hitte of the thumbes, that they could not tell in the world, whether it were best to fight, chide, or to goe their way. And no maruaile: for where the iest is aptly applied, the hearers laugh immediatly, and who would gladly bee laughed to scorne? Some can pretely by a worde spoken, take occasion to be right merie.

Other can iest at large, and tell a rounde tale pleasauntly, though they haue none occasion at that time giuen. But assuredly, that mirth is more worthe, which is moued by a worde newly spoken, then if a long tale should pleasauntly be tolde. For as much, as both it cometh vnlooked for, and also declares a quicknesse of witte, worthie commendation. There are fiue thinges which Tullie noteth, concerning pleasaunt talke.

{i. What it is to delite the hearers.

{ii. Whereof it cometh.

{iii. Weether an Orator may moue laughter.

{iiii. How largely he may goe, and what measure hee

{      must vse.

{v. What are the kindes of sporting, or mouing to

{      laughter.

NOw to tell you in plaine words, what laughter is, how it stirreth and occupieth the whole body, how it altereth the countenance, & sodainly brasteth out that we cannot keepe it in: let some mery man on Gods name take this matter in hand: for it passeth my cunning, & I think euen thei that can best moue laughter, would rather laugh merily when such a question is put forth, then giue answere earnestly, what, & how laughter is in deed.

The occasion of laughter, and the meane that maketh vs mery (which is the second obseruation) is the fondnes, the filthines, the deformitie, and all such euill behauiour, as we see to be in other. For we laugh alwaies at those things, which either onely or chiefly touch handsomely, and wittely, some especiall fault, or fond behauiour in some one body, or some one thing. Somtimes we iest at a mans bodie, that is not well proportioned, and laugh at his countenance, if either it be not comely by nature, or els he through folly can not well see it. For if his talke be fond, a mery man can want no matter to hitte him home, ye may bee assured. Some iest is made, when it toucheth no man at all, neither the demaunder, neither the standers by, nor yet any other, and yet deliteth as much the hearers, as any the other can doe. Now when we would abashe a man, for some words that he hath spoken, and can take none aduauntage of his person, or making of his bodie, we either doult him at the first, and make him beleeue, that he is no wiser then a Goose: or els we confute wholy his sayings with some pleasaunt iest, or els we extenuate and diminish his doings

Mirth how many

waies it is moued.

by some pretie meanes, or els we cast the like in his dish, and with some other deuise, dash hym out of countenance: or last of all, we laugh him to scorne out right, and sometimes speake almost neuer a word, but onely in continuaunce, shewe our selues pleasaunt. But howsoeuer we make sporte, either the delite is vttered by countenance, or by pointing to some thing, or shewed at large by some tale, or els occasion taken by some word spoken.

The third question is, whether it standeth with an Oratours profession, to delite the hearers with pleasaunt reportes, and wittie sayings, or no. Assuredly it behoueth a man that must

Preachers.

talke much, euermore to haue regarde to his audience, and not onely to speake so much as is needfull, but also to speake no longer then they bee willing to heare. Euen in this our tyme, some offende much in tediousnesse, whose part it were to comfort all men with cherefulnesse. Yea, the Preachers of

Platoes saying

to Antisthenes.

God mind so much edifying of soules, that they often forget we haue any bodies. And therfore, some doe not so much good with telling the trueth, as they doe harme with dulling the hearers, being so farre gone in their matters, that oftentimes they can not tel when to make an end. Plato therefore the father of learning, and the Well of all wisedome, when he heard Antisthenes make such a long Oration, that hee starke wearied al his hearers, phy for shame man (quoth he) doest thou not knowe, that the measuring of an Oration standeth not in the speaker, but in the hearers. But some perhaps wil saie vnto me, Facite quantum in vobis est, to whom I aunswere, estote prudentes. And now because our senses be

1. Peter 5.

Math. 10.

such, that in hearing a right wholsome matter, we either fall a sleepe when we shoulde most harken, or els are wearied with still hearing one thing, without any change, and think that the best part of his tale, resteth in making an ende: the wittie and learned haue vsed delitefull sayings, and quicke sentences, euer among their waightie causes, considering that not onely good will is got thereby (for what is he that loueth not mirth?) but also men wonder at such a head, as hath mens hartes at his commaundement, being able to make them merie when he list, and that by one word speaking, either in aunswering some thing spoken before, or els oftentimes in giuing the onset, being not prouoked thereunto. Againe, we see that men are full oft abashed, and put out of countenance by such taunting meanes, and those that haue so done are coumpted to be fine men, and pleasaunt fellowes, such as fewe dare set foote with them.

Thus knowing that to moue sporte, is lawfull for an Orator, or any one that shall talke in any open assembly: good it were to knowe what compasse hee should keepe, that should thus bee merie. For feare he take too much ground,

Iesting when it

should be spared.

and goe beyond his boundes. Therefore, no such should be taunted, or iested withall, that either are notable euill liuers, and hainous offenders: or els are pitifull catifes, and wretched beggers. For euery one thinketh it a better and a meeter deede, to punish naughtie packes then to scoffe at their euil demeanour: and as for wretched soules or poore bodies, none can beare to haue them mocked, but thinke rather that thei should be pitied, except they foolishly vaunt them selues. Againe, none such should be made any laughing stockes, that either are honest of behauiour: or els are generally wel beloued. As for other, we may be bolde to talke with them, and make such game and pastime, as their good wits shal giue good cause. But yet this one thing, we had neede euer to take with vs, that in all our iesting we keepe a meane, wherein not onely it is meet to auoyd all grosse bourding, and alehouse iesting, but also to eschue all foolish talke, and Ruffine maners, such as no honest eares can once abide, nor yet any wittie man can like well or allowe.

¶ The deuision of pleasaunt be[h]auiour.

Mirth making,

two waies vsed.

PLeasauntnesse, either appeareth in telling a rounde tale, or els in taking occasion of some one worde. The matter is tolde pleasantly, when some mans nature (whereof the tale is tolde) is to set forth his countenaunce so counterfeited, and all his iesture so resembled, that the hearers might iudge the thing, to be then liuely done, euen as though he were there, whereof the tale was tolde. Some can so liuely set foorth an other mans nature, and with such grace report a tale: that few shall be able to forbeare laughter, which knowe both parties, though they would the contrary neuer so faine. Nowe in counterfeiting after this sorte, if such moderation be not vsed, that the hearer may iudge more by himsefe, then the pleasaunt disposed man is willing fully to set foorth: it will not be well liked. For, he that exceedeth and telleth all: yea, more then is needefull, without all respect or consideration had: the same shalbe taken for a common iester, such as knowe not how to make an ende, when they once begin, being better acquainted with bible bable, then knowing the fruite of wisedomes lore.

Pleasauntnesse

in a saying.

Pleasauntnesse in a saying, is stirred by the quicke altering of some one worde, or of some one sentence. But euen as in reporting a tale, or counterfeiting a man, to much is euer naught: So scurrilitie or (to speake in olde plaine English) knauerie in iesting would not be vsed, where honestie is esteemed. Therfore, though there be some witte in a pretie deuised iest: yet we ought to take heede that we touche not those, whom we would be most loth to offende. And yet some had as leue lose their life, as not bestowe their conceiued iest, and oftentimes they haue as they desire. But shall I saie of such wilfull men, as a Spanyard spake of an earnest Gospeller, that for words spoken against an Ecclesiasticall lawe, suffered death in Smithfielde? Ah miser, non potui tacere et uiuere? Ah wretch that hee was, could hee not liue and hold his peace.

Againe, to iest when occasion is giuen, or when the iest

Difference betwixt a

common iester, and

a pleasant wiseman.

may touch all men: it is thought to be against all good maner. Therefore, the consideration of time, and moderation of pastime, and seldome vsing of drie mockes, euen when neede most requireth, make a difference, and shew a seuerall vnderstanding betwixt a common iester, and a pleasaunt wiseman.

Now the time requireth, to shewe what kindes there are of mouing laughter, and making the heart to be merie: Notwithstonding, this would first be learned, that out of diuers pleasaunt speeches, auncient sayings also may be gathered. As for example, we may by one worde, both praise a faithfull seruaunt, and if he be naught, we may also iest of him, and praise him. According to that merie saying of Nero, vpon his man that was light fingred. I haue one at home (quoth he) among all other, to whome there is no coffer lockt, nor doore shut in all my house, meaning that he was a picklocke, and a false verlet, and yet these wordes might haue been spoken of a faithfull seruaunt.

Pleasant answeres made

contrarie to our

looking delite vs much.

We shall delite the hearers, when they looke for one answere, and we make them a cleane contrary, as though we would not seeme to vnderstand what they would haue. As one Pontidius being sore greeued, that an other man had committed Adulterie, came to a friend of his, and said sadly. Ah Lord, what thinke you sir of him, that was taken in bed of late with an other mans wife? Marie (quoth the other) I thinke him to be a very sluggard. Pontidius, hearing him saie so, was abashed at the straungenesse of his aunswere, and looking for no such thing, was driuen to laugh at his owne errour, although before he was much greeued, with the Adulterers most wicked deede.

One being sore greeued with the euill behauiour of a certaine Gentleman, spake his pleasure largely against him, wherevpon an other merie man, dissembling to take his parte, sayde, he was an honester man then so. Yea (quoth the other) what one thing hath he, whereby to proue himself honest at all? Marie (quoth the man) he hath the Kings Pardon, and what saie you to that?

Diogenes.

When is it best to dine (quoth one to Diogenes) Marie (quoth he) for a rich man when he list: for a poore man when he can.

A noble man, that whilome kept a chappell, being disposed to serue God, went to his closet deuoutly, and made him self redy to praie, whervpon one came doune in hast, and said to the chaunter, you must begin sir. The chaunter being a mery man, aunswered thus as though he were angrie. Begin quoth he, I wil begin with none except they begin with me. And so made the whole quire that then was redy for singing to fall straight a laughing. The which is al one, for sing we, or laugh we, what maketh matter so we be mery.

An Abbat in Italy, being grosse of his body, and vnweldy to beholde, walking out of Florence for his pleasure, and hauyng farther trauailde towards the Euening, then he thought himself well able to returne, before the gates of the Citie were shut: met a countrey man comming from thence, and because it was somewhat late, asked him if he might get in at the Gates: the Housbandman, seeing this fatte Abbat looking for a readie aunswere, and lothe to lose any time for feare hee should bee kept out, sayde pleasauntly to the deuout religious fat Priest: Sir, be not afraid, for a Carte loden with Haie, may easely get in at any Gate in Florence, and therefore you neede not to doubt, although you were as bigge againe, whereas the Abbats meaning was, if hee might come in tyme before the Gates were lockt.

A frend of mine, and a good fellowe, more honest then wealthie, yea, and more pleasant then thriftie, hauing need of a nagge for his iourney that he had in hande, and being in the countrey, minded to goe to Partnaie faire in Lincolnshire, not farre from the place where he then laie, and meeting by the way one of his acquaintaunce, told him his arrande, and asked him how horses went at the Faire. The other aunswered merely and saide, some trotte sir, and some amble, as farre as I can see. If their paces be altered, I praie you tell me at our next meeting. And so rid away as fast as his horse could cary him, without saying any worde more, whereat he there being alone, fel a laughing hartely to him self, & looked after a good while, vntill the other was out of sight.

A Gentleman hauing heard a Sermon at Paules, and being come home, was asked what the preacher said. The Gentleman answered he would first heare what his man could saie, who then waited vpon him, with his hatte and cloake, and calling his man to him, sayd, nowe sir, what haue you brought from the Sermon. Forsothe good Maister, sayd the seruaunt your cloake and your hatte. A honest true dealing seruaunt out of doubt, plaine as a packsaddle, hauing a better soule to God, though his witte was simple, then those haue, that vnder the colour of hearing, giue them selues to priuie picking, and so bring other mens purses home in their bosomes, in the steade of other mens Sermons.

In the time of Pope Iulie the seconde, or Alexander the sixt, I doe not well remember (but either of them both may serue well for this purpose being both warriers, as what Pope is not) it so hapened that a Cardinall of Spaine, hauing charge vnder the Pope of an Armie, and seing it necessarie, to trie the fortune of battaile, against the enemies of the Popes holinesse, valiantly encouraged those soldiours, to shew themselues like men, assuring to them that would hassarde their liues, in that conflict, not onely to haue full pardone of their sinnes, but also that they should that morning, goe dine with GOD and his Angelles in Heauen. And when he had thus saied, he withdrew himselfe from the battaile. Vnto whom a Soldiour said that was nigh at hand. Right reuerend Father, how happeneth your Grace, doeth not withsaue to tarie with vs, that you might also goe dine this morning with God and his Angels. Holde thy peace knaue (quoth the Cardinall) I haue no list to eate now, it is to earely for mee, my stomacke is not yet come to me.

Wordes doubtfully spoken, giue often iust occasion of much laughter. Ah (quoth a certaine man) doe you see yonder fellowe, and doe you knowe him? Yea (quoth the other) I know him very well. I shall tell you sir (saied the Gentleman) there is not a man of greater vnderstanding within this Citie then he is. Tush it is not so (quoth he) No? (said the other) marke well the bought of his legge, and you shall see his vnderstanding worthie to be compared with the best and greatest of them all.

Chaunging of a letter,

or altering part of

a word, or adding a

sillable.

Sometimes it is wel liked, when by the chaunging of a letter, or taking away some part of a word, or adding sometimes a sillable, we make an other meaning. As one saied, that meant full vnhappely, enueighing against those that held of Christes spiritual being in the sacrament: some (quoth he) will haue a Trope to be in these words: This is my body: but surely I would wish the T. were taken away, & that they had for their labour which is left behind.

A Gentleman, being handfasted to a Gentlewoman, and sure to her, as he thought: afterwards lost her, being made faster to an other man, then euer she was to him. Wherevpon he tooke great displeasure, and sought by law to win her. Notwithstanding, she had carnally beene acquainted with the other Gentleman. A noble man being earnestly desired of him, that had first lost her, to helpe him to her againe: I maruaile (quoth the noble man) what you meane to bee so earnest to recouer her, whom an other man haue alreadie couered. If I were in your case, she should goe for me, and he should haue her, that hath thus before hand seased vpon her. The Gentleman discouraged vpon this answere, departed with an vnquieted minde, and thought notwithstanding, to be euen with the woman, if he could tell possibly how or which way.

What cary you maister Parson (quoth a Gentleman) to a Priest that had his woman on Horsback behind him, haue you got your Male behind you? No sir (quoth the Priest) it is my Female.

Interpretation

of a word.

The interpretation of a worde, doth oft declare a witte. As when one hath done a robberie, some will saie, it is pitie he was a handsome man, to the which an other made answere, you say trueth sir, for he hath made these shiftes by his hands, and got his liuing with light fingering, and therefore, being handsome as you say he is, I would God he were handsomely hanged.

Wordes taken, and

not the meaning.

Sometimes it is delitefull, when a mans word is taken, and not his meaning. As when one had saied to an other (whose help he must needes haue) I am sorie sir to put you to paines: the other aunswered, I will ease you sir of that sorrow, for I will take no such paines for you at all.

An answere from

euill to worse.

The turning of a worde, and denying that wherewith we are charged, and aunswering a much worse, doth often mooue the hearer. There was one Bassus, as Quintilian doth tel, which seeing a Ladie called Domitia, to bee very nigh her selfe, spake his pleasure of her. Whervpon she being greeued, charged him with these wordes, that hee should say shee was

Snudging wittely

rebuked.

such a pinch penie, as would sell her olde shooes for money, wherevpon he aunswered: no forsooth Madame, quoth he, I saied not so, but these were my wordes: I sayd you bought olde Shooes, such as you could get best cheape for money.

The Hollanders wordes are worthie rehearsall, who being a poore man, as Erasmus telleth the tale, had a Cowe or two going in the Commons, wherevpon it happened that an Oxe of a rich mans, who then was Maior of the Towne, had gored the poore mans Cowe, and almost killed her. The poore man being in this case halfe vndone, thought notwithstanding

A wittie deuised tale

to get right iudgement.

by a wittie deuise, to get right iudgement of maister Maior, for the losse of his Cowe, if he got nothing els, and therfore thus he framed his tale. Sir, so it is that my Cowe hath gored and almost killed your Oxe. What hath she, quoth he, by Sainct Marie thou shalt pay for him then. Nay, quoth the poore man, I crie you mercie, your Oxe hath gored my Cowe. Ah, quoth the Maior, that is an other matter, we will talke of that hereafter at more leasure.

These wordes were spoken of purpose, but now you shal heare what an olde woman spake of simplicitie. In the doting world when stockes were Saincts, and dumme walles spake, this old grandame was deuoutly kneeling vpon her knees, before the Image of our Lady. Wherevpon a merie fellowe asked her what she ment to crouch and kneele there.

A beldames blinde

aunswere.

Marie, quoth the olde mother, I praie to our Ladie, that she maie praie to her Sonne for me: with that he laughed at her ignoraunce. Whervpon she thinking that her wordes were spoken amisse, corrected her owne saying in this wise. Nay (quoth she) I pray to Christ in heauen, that he will pray for me to this good Ladie here.

Words ouerthwartly

answered.

Wordes rehearsed contrarie to that which was spoken, and (as a man would say) ouerthwartly aunswered, doe much abash the opponent, and delite the hearers. As when Sergius Galba being sicke, and therfore keeping his house, had appointed certaine of his freendes, to heare a matter of one Libo Scribonius, Tribune of the people, a man much noted for his naughtie and vncleane life: this Libo saied to him in this wise. Good Lord, when shall we see you sir abroad out of your Parlour. Marie (quoth he) when thou keepest thy selfe out of an other mans Chamber, meaning that he was ouer familiar with an other mans wife. Thus we see how and in what maner pleasaunt sawes are gathered and vsed, vpon the occasion of diuers wordes spoken.

Alphonsus King of Naples, had a Iester in his Court, who made a booke, and kept a reckening of all follies, especially such as he thought to bee follies, of all those Gentlemen and others that waited in the Court, wherat the King tooke great pleasure oftentimes. And so it happened that the King hauing a More in his house, sent the same man into Leuant, with three or fower thousand pound in his purse to buye horses in Affrica. The Iester seeing this act, did put it in his Booke of remembraunce for a plaine follie. Now it happened that within a little while after, the King asked this Iester for his booke, because he had not sene it of a long time before. And in reading vpon his booke, where he found many mery mad toyes, he hit at length vpon himself & the Moore, vnto whom he had giuen three thousand pounde, to buye horses for him in Barbarie. Whervpon the King somwhat chaunged in colour, asked him in his anger, why he had put him in his booke after that sort. I haue put you in my booke (quoth the Iester) because you haue plaid the very foole, to giue the bestowing of so much money to a straunger, whom you shal neuer see againe. And what if he come againe (quoth the King) and bring the horses with him, haue I then plaied the foole? Well (quoth the Iester) so sone as he is come, I will then put out your name out of my booke, and put his name in your place. For then I must needes take him to be a more foole then you are a great deale. But till he come, you shall be in my booke, God willing.

Pleasaunt sport made, by rehearsing of a
whole matter.

Difference betwixt a

iest in a worde, and

a iest in a long tale.

THE nature and whole course of a matter, beeing largely set out with a comely behauiour, doth much delite the hearers, and giueth good cause of great pastime. This difference is betwene a iest in a word, and a iest vttered in a long tale. That which is still delitefull, with what wordes soeuer you tell it, is contained in the substance or nature of a long tale: that which loseth his grace by alteration of a worde, is contained in the nature of a worde. They that can liuely tell pleasaunt tales, and merie deedes done, and set them out aswell with iesture, as with voyce, leauing nothing behind, that may serue for beautifying of their matter: are most meete for this purpose, whereof assuredly there are but fewe. And whatsoeuer he is, that can aptly tell his tale, and with countenaunce, voyce, and iesture so temper his report, that the hearers may stil take delite: him compt I man worthie to be highly esteemed. For vndoubtedly no man can doe any such thing, except they haue a great mother wit, & by experience confirme such their comelinesse, wherevpon by nature they were most apt. Many a man readeth histories, heareth Fables, seeth worthie acts done, euen in this our age, but few can set them out accordingly, and tell them liuely, as the matter self requireth to be tolde. The kindes of deliting in this sort are diuers: whereof I will set forth many, as hereafter they shall followe. ¶ Sport moued by telling of old tales. IF there bee any olde tale or straunge historie, well and wittely applied to some man liuing, all men loue to heare it of life. As if one were called Arthur, some good fellowe that were well acquainted with King Arthures booke, and the Knights of the round Table, would want no matter to make good sport, and for a neede would dub him Knight of the round Table, or els proue him to be one of his kinne, or els (which were much) proue him to be Arthur himselfe. And so likewise of other names, merie companions would make mad pastime.

Deformitie of bodie

mooueth mirth.

Oftentimes the deformitie of a mans bodie, giueth matter enough to bee right merie, or els a Picture in shape like an other man, will make some to laugh right hartely. One being grieued with an other man, saied in his anger, I will set thee out in thy colours, I will shewe what thou art. The other being therewith much chafed, shewe quoth he, what thou canst: with that hee shewed him, pointing with his finger, a man with a bottle Nose, blobbe cheeked, and as red as a Butchers bowle, euen as like the other man, as any one in al the world could be. I neede not to say that he was angrie. An other good fellowe being merily disposed, called his acquaintance vnto him and saied: Come hether I saie, and I will shewe thee as very a loute, as euer thou sawest in all thy life before: with that he offered him at his comming, a steele Glasse to looke in. But surely I thinke he looked a wrie, for if I had bene in his case, I would haue told him that I espied a much greater loute, before I sawe the Glasse.

Augmenting or

diminishing.

In augmenting or diminishing without all reason, wee giue good cause of much pastime. As Diogenes seeing a pretie towne, hauing a great paire of gates at the comming in: Take heede quoth he, you men of this towne, least your towne run out of your gates. That was a meruailous bigge gate I trowe, or els a wonderfull little towne, where such passage should be made.

A Frier disposed to tell misteries, opened to the people that the soule of man was so little, that a leuen thousand might dance vpon the naile of his thumbe. One meruailing much at that, I pray you maister Frier quoth hee, where shall the Pyper stande then, when such a number shall keepe so small a roume.

Opening a weightie

or vnknowne thing.

Mirth is mooued, when vpon a trifle or a word spoken, an vnknowne matter and weightie affaire is opened. As if one should finde fault with some mans sumptuous building, or other such thing, which had found much fauour at the same mans hande: an other might say, well sir, he that builded this house, saued your worshippe from hanging when the time was. A necessarie note for him, thankfully to remember the builder of that house, and not slaunderously to speake euill of him.

Dissembling.

It is a pleasaunt dissembling, when we speake one thing merily and thinke an other earnestly: or els when wee praise that which otherwise deserueth dispraise, to the shaming of those that are taken not to be most honest.

As in speaking of one that is well knowne to bee naught, to say among all men that are seen too, there is one that lacketh his reward. He is the diligentiest fellowe in his calling of all other, he hath trauailed in behalfe of his countrey, he hath watched day and night to further his Commonweale, and to aduaunce the dignitie thereof, and shal he goe emptie home? Who stood by it at such a field, who plaid the man and cried, stoppe the theefe, when such a man was robbed? Who seeth good rule kept in such a place? Can any here charge him with bawdrie? Which of you al dare say, or can say that euer you sawe him dronken, if then these be true, ought not such to be seen too: and rewarded accordingly? For praising the vnworthy, I remember once that our worthie Latimer, did set out the Deuill for his diligence wonderfully, and preferred him for that purpose, before all the Bishops in England. And no doubt, the wicked be more busie and stirring, then the children of light be in their generation.

What talke you of such a man (saith an other) there is not an honester man ye may bee assured. For if a man had neede of one, he is readie at a pinch, his bodie sweates for honestie, if you come to him in a hot Sommers day, you shall see his honestie in such sort to reeke, that it would pitie any Christian soule liuing. He hath more honestie with him then he needes, and therefore both is able and will lende, where it pleaseth him best. Beware of him aboue all men that euer you knewe. He hath no fellowe, there is none such. I thinke he will not liue long, he is so honest a man, the more pitie that such good fellowes should know what death meaneth. But it maketh no matter when he is gone, al the world will speake of him, his name shal neuer dye, he is so wel knowne vniuersally.

Thus wee may mockingly speake well of him, when there is not a noughtier fellowe within al England againe, and euen as well set out his noughtinesse this way, as though wee had in very deede vttered al his naughtie conditions plainly, and without iesting. Among all that euer were pleasaunt in this kinde of delite, Socrates beareth the name, and may worthely chalenge praise. Sir Thomas More with vs here in England, had an excellent gift, not onely in this kinde, but also in all other pleasant delites, whose witte euen at this hower, is a wonder to all the worlde, and shall bee vndoubtedly euen vnto the worldes ende. Vnto this kinde of dissembling, is next adioyning a manner of speech, when we giue an honest name to an euill deede. As when I would call one accordingly, that is of a naughtie behauiour, to say: Ah sirrha, you are a Marchaunt in deed: where as I think a Marchaunts name is honest. Some old fellowes, when they thinke one to bee an Heretique, they will say he is a Gospeller. Some newe fellowes when they thinke one a Papist, they will call him streight a Catholique, and bee euen with him at the lands end. Contrariwise, some will giue an euil name to a good thing: As a Father louing his Sonne tenderlie, and hauing no cause to bee grieued with him, will sometimes say to him: Come hether sir knaue: and the Mother merelie being disposed, will say to her sweete Sonne: Ah you little horesonne, will you serue me so. Where as I thinke some women that oft say so, will sweare vpon a booke they are none such, and almost I had saied, I dare sweare for some of them my selfe, if God had not forbidden me to sweare at all.

This kinde also is pretie, when wee gather an other thing by a mans tale, then he would gladlie wee should gather. When Liuius Salinator a Romaine Captaine, had kept the Castell of Tarentum, losing the Towne to Hanniball his enemie,

Q. Fabius Maximus.

and that Maximus therevpon had laied siege to the same Toune, and got it againe by the sword: Then Salinator which thus kept the Castell, desired him to remember, that through his meanes he got the Towne. Why should I not (quoth he) think so: for if you had neuer lost it, I had neuer got it.

To dissemble sometimes, as though wee vnderstood not what one meant, declareth an apt wit, and much deliteth such as heare it. Diogenes was asked on a time, what Wine he loued best to drinke. Marie (quoth he) an other mans

Diogenes.

Wine: meaning that he loued that drinke best that cost him least. The same Diogenes likewise was asked what one should giue him, to let him haue a blowe at his head. Marie a Helmet, quoth he.

One Octauius a Libian borne (as witnesseth Macrobius) saied vnto Tullie, when he spake his minde vpon a matter. Sir, I heare you not, I pray you speake louder. No? (quoth Tullie) that is a meruaile to me, for as I doe remember, your eares are well bored through, meaning that he was nailed vpon a Pillorie, or els had holes made in his eares, which might serue (as Tullie iested) to receiue open aire.

An other being sore offended vpon some cause with a fellowe, who had lost his eares for good cause, saied in his heate. I will handle thee like a knaue, seest thou now. And heaping wordes vpon words, would gladly belike that the partie should haue caried them away, and well remembred them, and therefore saied fumously vnto him, doest thou heare me? Vpon that, one that stood by, said to this angrie Gentleman, I doubt sir, that this Pillorie fellowe doth not heare you at all. For as you remember he lost his eares of late, and how can he heare that hath no eares at all. With that the Gentlemans anger was altered to mirth and laughter, and so they all departed.

When Mettellus tooke Muster, and required Cæsar to bee there, not abyding that he should be absent, though his eyes grieued him, and said: what man do you see nothing at al? Yes Mary (quoth Cæsar) as euil as I see, I can see a Lordship of yours (the which was fower or fiue miles from Rome) declaring that his building was ouer sumptuous, and so houge withall (much aboue his degree) that a blind man might almost see it. Now in those daies ouer costly buildings was generally hated, because men sought by such meanes to get fame, & beare rule in the Commonweale.

The like also is of one Nasica, who when he came to the Poet Ennius, and asked at the gates if Ennius were at home, the mayd of the house being so commaunded by her maister, made answere that he was not within. And when he perceiued, that she so saied by her maisters commaundement, he went straight his way, and saied no more.

Ennius pleasaunt

aunswere to Nasica.

Now shortly after when Ennius came to Nasica, and called for him at the doore, Nasica cried out a loude, and saied: Sirrha, I am not at home? What man (quoth Ennius) I heare thee speake. Doe not I knowe thy voyce? Then (quoth Nasica.) Ah shamelesse man that thou art, when I sought thee at thy home, I did beleeue thy maide, when she saied thou wast not at home, and wilt not thou beleeue me, when I tell thee mine owne self, that I am not at home?

A man mocked with

the fame he bringeth.

It is a pleasaunt hearing, when one is mocked with the fame that he bringeth. As when one Q. Opimius hauing an euill name for his light behauiour, had saied to a pleasaunt man, Egilius that seemed to be wanton of liuing, and yet was not so: Ah my sweet darling Egilia, when wilt thou come to my house sweete wench, with thy rocke and thy spindell? I dare not in good faith (quoth she) my mother hath forbidden me, to come in any suspected house, where euill rule is kept.

An Eeremite in Italie, professing a meruailous straight life, and eschewing the Citie dwelt in a Desert, where he made him self a Caue, wrought by his owne hands with Spade and Shouell, and couering the same with boughes and earth, lay there in his Couch or Cabine liuing in contemplation, as one that vtterly had forsaken the worlde, wherevpon he came in great credite with the people, and especially with the women of that Towne, as by Nature women are more apt to beleeue, and readier giuen to Superstition then men are. Afterwards it appeared that this Eremites holinesse was altogether counterfeite, and he founde a very lewde man. For it was knowne and well proued, that he had the companie of diuers Gentlewomen of that Citie, & therefore being examined openly, and greeuously rebuked, he confessed that he had the vse of diuers Ladies there. Wherevpon a Register that tooke the note of al their names, being much greeued with his filthie behauiour, especially because he had vsed so many said thus. Ah thou vile man. Is there any other with whom thou hast bene acquainted? Say on beast and shame the Deuill. The poore Eremite beeing wonderfully rebuked of euery bodie, and meruailous sorie of such his folies priuely committed, and openly knowne. Saied to the Register in this wise. Sir, seeing I am charged to say the trueth, and that the holie mother Church willeth me to leaue nothing vnrehearsed, that the rather vppon my plaine confession, I may the sooner haue obsolution: In good faith maister Register (quoth he) I doe not remember any other sauing your wife onely, who was the first and the last that euer I haue touched, since I made my graue, and therefore if it please you to put her into your booke also, you may boldly doe it. For surely she was very louing to me. With that the Register in a great heate stoode vp, and casting his pen out of his hand, would haue bene at the Eremite rather then his life. The people laughed hartely, to see the Register that was so hastie before, to charge the simple Eremite with his wanton follies, to bee in such sort touched with his wiues default. And many then there (as young men bee in such cases forward) would in any wise, that the Register should haue written his wiues name in his owne booke, ad æternam rei memoriam.

Those Iestes are bitter which haue a hid vnderstanding in them, wherof also a man may gather much more then is spoken. A homely fellowe made his wofull lamentation to Diogenes in most pitifull sort, because his wife had hanged

Diogenes doggish aunswere

in despite of women.

her selfe vppon a Figtree, hoping to finde some comfort at his hande. But Diogenes hearing this straunge deede: for the loue of God (quoth he) giue me some slippes of that tree, that I might set them in some Orchard. The fruite liked him wel, and belike he thought that such slippes, would haue bene as good to dispatch noughtie women, as Lime twigges are thought meete to catch wild birds withal.

An Archdeacon beeing nothing so wise as he was wealthie, nor yet so learned as he was worshipfull, asked a yong man once whether he had a good witte or no. Yea Marie sir (quoth he) your witte is good enough, if you keepe it still and vse it not, for euery thing as you knowe, is the worse for the wearing. Thou saiest euen troth (quoth he) for that is the matter that I neuer vsed preaching: for it is nothing but a wasting of witte, and a spending of winde. And yet if I would preach, I thinke I could doe as well as the best of them. Yea sir (quoth he) but yet I would ye should not proue it, for feare a strayning your self too much: why? Doest thou feare that (quoth he) nay thou maiest be assured, I will neuer preach so long as I liue, God being my good Lord. There are ouer many Heretiques, for good meaning men to speake any thing now adaies. You say euen troth (quoth the yong man) and so went forth: but to tell all, I had neede to haue time of an other world, or at the least to haue breath of an other bodie.

An vnlearned Oratour made an Oration on a time, thinking that he had with his well doing delited much al men, and moued them to mercie and pittie, and therefore sitting downe, he asked one Catulus if he had not moued the hearers to mercie. Yes Marie, quoth he, and that too great mercie and pitie both, for I think there is none here so hard harted, but thought your Oration very miserable, and therefore needfull to be greatly pitied.

Churlish aunsweres like the hearers sometimes very well. When the father was cast in iudgement, the Sonne seeing him weepe: why weepe you Father? (quoth he) To whom his father aunswered. What? Shall I sing I pray thee, seeing by Lawe I am condemned to dye. Socrates likewise beeing mooued of his wife, because he should dye an innocent and guiltlesse in the law: Why for shame woman (quoth he) wilt thou haue me to dye giltie & deseruing. When one had falne into a ditch, an other pitying his fall, asked him and saied: Alas how got you into that pit? Why Gods mother, quoth the other, doest thou aske me how I got in, nay tell me rather in the mischiefe, how I shall get out.

There is an other contrarie vnto this kinde, when a man suffereth wrong, and giueth no sharpe answere at all. As when Cato was stroken of one that caried a Chest: some say a long poule: when the other saied after he had hit him. Take heede sir I pray you: why (quoth Cato) doest thou carie any thing els.

Follie and lacke of naturall wit, or els want of honestie, giue good matter of mirth oftentimes. When Scipio beeing Pretor had appointed vnto a certaine Sicilian, one to be his Lawier that was of a good house, and had an euill wit, little better than half a foole: I pray you (quoth the Sicilian to Scipio) appoint this Lawyer for mine aduersarie, and let me haue none at all hardly.

In speaking against an euil man, and wishing somewhat therupon, a iest may seeme delitefull. When an euill man had accused many persons, and none tooke any harme by him, but rather were acquited from time to time, and taken the sooner for honest men. Now would to Christes passion,

Wishing.

quoth a naughtie fellowe, that he were mine accuser, for then should I bee taken for an honest man also through his accusation. Demonedes hauing crooked feete, lost on a time both his shooes, wherevpon he made his prayer to GOD, that his shooes might serue his feete, that had stolne them away. A shrewde wish for him that had the shooes, and better neuer weare shooes, then steale them so dearly.

Coniectures.

Things gathered by coniecture, to seeme otherwise then they are, delite much the eares being wel applied together. One was charged for robbing a Church, and almost euidently proued to be an offender in that behalf, the said man to saue himself harmelesse, reasoned thus: Why, quoth he, how should this be, I neuer robbed house, nor yet was euer faultie in any offence besides, how then should I presume to rob a Church? I haue loued the Church more then any other, and will louers of the Church robbe the Church? I haue giuen to the Church, how happeneth that I am charged to take from the Church, hauing euer so good minde to Church dignitie? Assure your selues they passe litle of the Church that would aduenture to rob the Church. They are no Churchmen, they are maisterlesse men, or rather S. Nicolas Clarkes that lacke liuing, and going in Procession takes the Church to bee an Hospitall for way fairers, or a pray for poore and needie beggers: but I am no such man.

Things wanting.

Thinges wanting, make good pastime beeing aptly vsed. Alacke, alacke, if such a one had somewhat to take to, and were not past grace: he would doe well enough without all doubt: I warrant him: He wants nothing saieth an other of a couetous man, but one thing, he hath neuer enough.

Such a man hath no fault but one, and if that were amended, all were well: what is that? (quoth an other) In good faith he is naught.

Familiar aduise

giuing.

To giue a familiare aduise in the way of pastime, deliteth much the hearers. When an vnlearned Lawyer had been hoarse and almost lost his voyce with ouerlong speaking, one Granius gaue him counsell to drinke sweet wine colde, so sone as he came home. Why, quoth he, I shall lose my voce if I do so. Marie, quoth he, better do so then vndo thy client, and lose his matter altogether.

Things spoken

contrarie to

expectation.

But among all other kindes of delite, there is none that so much comforteth and gladdeth the hearer, as a thing spoken contrary to the expectation of other. Augustus Emperour of Rome, seeing a handsome young man there, which was much like vnto himselfe in countenaunce, asked him if euer his mother was in Roome, as though he had been his bastard. No forsooth (quoth he) but my father hath beene here very often: with that the Emperour was abashed, as though the Emperours own mother had beene an euill woman of her bodie.

When an vnlearned Phisition (as England lacketh none such) had come to Pausanias a noble Gentleman, and asked him if he were not troubled much with sicknesse. No sir (quoth he) I am not troubled at all, I thanke GOD, because I vse not thy counsaile. Why doe ye accuse me (quoth the Phisition) that neuer tried me? Marie (quoth Pausanias) if I had once tried thee, I should neuer haue accused thee, for then had I beene dead, and in my graue many daies agone.

An English Phisition ryding by the way: and seeing a great companie of men gathered together, sent his man to know what the matter was, whervpon his man vnderstanding that one there was appointed to suffer for killing a man: came riding backe in al post haste, and cried to his maister, long before he came at him: get you hence sir, get you hence for Gods loue. What meanest thou (quoth his maister.) Mary (quoth the seruaunt) yonder man shall dye for killing of one man, and you I dare saie, haue killed a hundred men in your daies: get you hence therefore for Gods loue if you loue your self.

An Italian hauing a sute here in England, to the Archbishop of Yorke that then was, and comming to Yorke Towne at that time, when one of the Prebendaries there brake his bread, as they terme it, and therevpon made a solemne long dinner, the which perhaps began at aleuen, and continued wel nye fower in the afternoone, at the which dinner this Bishop was: It so fortuned that as they were set, the Italian knockt at the gate vnto whom the Porter perceiuing his errand, aunswered, that my Lord Bishop was at dinner. The Italian departed, and returned betwixt xii. and one, the Porter answered they were yet at diner, he came againe at two of the clocke, the Porter told him they had not half dined: he came at three a clock, vnto whom the Porter in a heate answered neuer a worde, but churlishly did shut the gates vpon him. Whereupon others told the Italian, that there was no speaking with my Lord, almost al that day, for the solemne dinner sake. The Italian Gentleman, wondering much at such long sitting, and greatly greeued, because hee could not then speake with the Bishops grace, departed straight towards London, and leauing the dispatch of his matters with a deare freend of his, tooke his iourney towards Italie. Three yeares after it happened that an English man came to Rome, with whom the Italian by chaunce falling acquainted, asked him if he knewe the Bishop of Yorke. The Englishman saied, he knew him right well. I pray you tell me (quoth the Italian) hath the Bishop yet dined? The English man much meruailing at his question, could not tel what to say. The Italian vp and tolde him all, as I haue saied before, whereat they both laughed hartely.

Examples be innumerable that serue for this purpose.

A lye mocked

with a lye.

A man may by hearing a loude lye, pretelie mocke the lye by reporting a greater lye. When one being of a lowe degree, and his father of meane wealth, had vaunted much of the good house that his father kept: of two Beefes spent weekely, and halfe a score tunne of wine dranke in a yere, an other good fellowe hearing him lye so shamefully: in deede (quoth he) Beefe is so plentifull at my maister your fathers house, that an Oxe in one day is nothing, and as for Wine, Beggers that come to the doore, are serued by whole gallands. And as I remember your father hath a spring of Wine in the middest of his Court, God continue his good house keeping.

Graunting to other the

same, that they will not

graunt to vs.

Oftentimes wee may graunt to an other, the same that they will not graunt to vs. When a base borne fellow, whose parents were not honest, had charged Lelius that he did not liue according to his auncesters: yea, but thou doest liue, quoth Lelius, according to thy elders.

Better bee borne a

begger, then dye a

begger.

One being a gentleman in birth, and vnthriftie in conditions, called an other man in reproach begger and slaue. In deede sir, quoth the poore man, you are no begger borne, but I feare me ye will dye one.

An other likewise called Diogenes varlet and caitife, to whom Diogenes aunswered in this wise. In deed such a one haue I bene as thou art now, but such a one as I now am, shalt thou neuer be.

Salust being a Gentleman borne, and a man of much wealth, and yet rather by birth Noble: then by true dealing honest, enueighed much the estimation which Tullie had among all men, and saied to him before his face: Thou art no Gentleman borne, and therefore not meete to beare office in this commonweale: In deed (quoth Tullie) my nobilitie beginnes in me, and thine doth end in thee. Meaning thereby that though Salust were borne noble, yet he were like to die wretched, whereas Tullie being borne both poore and bace, was like to dye with honour, because of his vertue, wherein chiefly consisteth Nobilitie.

There is a pleasaunt kinde of dissembling, when two meetes

Pleasaunt dissembling

in outward behauiour.

together, and the one cannot well abide the other: and yet they both outwardly striue to vse pleasaunt behauiour, and to shewe much courtesie, yea, to contend on both parts, which should passe other in vsing of faire wordes, and making of liuely countenaunces: seeking by dissembling, the one to deceiue the other.

Checking a lyer with

an open mocke.

When we see a notable lye vtterde, wee checke the offendour openly with a pleasaunt mocke. As when one Vibius Curius did speake much of his yeares, and made himself to be much yonger then he was (quoth Tullie) why then maister Vibius, as farre as I can gather by my reckening, when you and I declamed together last, you were not then borne by all likelihood, if that be true which you say.

When Fabia Dolobella saied to the same Tullie, that she was but thirtie yeares of age: As women by their good willes would neuer be old: I thinke so (quoth Tullie) for I haue heard you say no lesse, twentie yeares agoe.

A Souldier that thought his estimation, stoode most in the vertue of his hand Gunne, made a meruailous bragge of it, and saied he was able to shoote leauell a great deale farther, then any one there would beleeue him to say trueth: whereupon he called his man to beare witnesse of the same, and

asked him whether it were so or no. In deede, quoth his
man, you say trueth, but then you must remember sir,
you had the winde with you when you shott so
farre. Belike he thought, there would
neuer come such a Winde againe. ¶ Of disposition and apt ordering
of things. I Haue trauailed hetherto in teaching the right way, to finde meete matter for euery cause, vsing Arte as my slender witte could best yeeld. And now, next and immediatly after inuention, I thinke meete to speake of framing, and placing an Oration in order, that the matter beeing aptly setled and couched together: might better please the hearers, & with more ease be learned of al men. And the rather I am earnest in this behalf, because I knowe that al things stande by order, and without order nothing can be. For by an order we are borne, by an order we liue, and by an order we make our ende. By an order and rule as head, and other obey as members. By an order Realmes stande, and Lawes take force. Yea, by an order the whole worke of Nature, and the perfite state of all the Elements haue their appointed course. By an order wee deuise, wee learne and frame our doings to good purpose. By an order the Carpenter hath his squire, his Rule, and his Plomet. The Taylour his Metyard and his Measure: The Mason his Former, and his Plaine, and euery one according to his calling, frameth things thereafter. For

Order of what

sort it is.

though matter be had, and that in great plentie: yet all is to no purpose, if an order be not vsed. As for example. What auaileth Stone, if Masons doe not worke it? What good doth cloath, if Taylours take no measure, or doe not cut it out? Though Timber bee had for making a Ship, and all other things necessarie, yet the Ship shal neuer be perfite, till workmen beginne to set to their hands, and ioyne it together. In what a comely order hath God made man, whose shape is not thought perfite, if any part be altered? Yea, all folke would take him for a Monster, whose feete should occupie the place of his handes. An armie neuer getteth victorie that is not in araie, and set in good order of battaile. So an Oration hath little force with it, and doth smally profite, which is vtterd without all order. And needes must he wander, that knowes not howe to goe, neither can hee otherwise chuse but stumble: that groping in the darke, cannot tell where he is: yea, he must needes both leaue much vnspoken, repeate often thinges spoken before not knowing what, nor where to speake best: that giues himselfe rather to take the chaunce of fortune, then to follow the right waie of aduised counsaile. What should a man doe with a weapon, that knoweth not how to vse it? What though one haue mountaines of golde, what auaileth him to haue such heapes, if he cannot tell how to bestowe them? It is not enough to haue learning, but it is all to vse learning. Therefore, because this part of bestowing matter, and placing it in good order is so necessarie. I wil shewe what the learned haue saied in this behalfe, so much as I shall thinke it needfull. ¶: Disposition what it is. DIsposition as Tullie doth define it: is a certaine bestowing of things, and an apt declaring what is meete for euery part, as time and place doe best require. ¶ Diuding of disposition. THere are two kindes of disposing, and placing of matter. The one is, when we followe the appointed rule of Rhetorique, the which Nature doth almost teach vs: The other is wholie fashioned by the discretion of him that makes the Oration.

Rhetorique, what it

teacheth for ordering

of things.

Rhetorique doth teach vs, and Nature also leadeth vs thereunto, first to speake somewhat before we open our matter, after that to tell the cause of our entent, setting forth the matter plainly that all may vnderstande it, then to proue our owne cause by good reason, and to confute all such thinges, as are contrarie to our purpose: last of all, to gather the whole in a somme, concluding the matter briefly, and so to make an ende. Now to place those reasons, which should both serue to confirme, and to confute, and to tell in what part of the Oration, it were best to vse this reason and that reason, that the rather we might proue, teach and perswade: a right wiseman had neede to take this matter in hande. For euen as the time, the place, the iudge, and the matter it self shall giue cause: so must a wise bodie take his aduauntage. Sometimes it shall bee expedient to vse no preface at all, or els when the matter is well knowne, it will bee good to leaue the matter vntold, and straight to seeke the confirmation, vsing some strong reason for the same purpose. Yea, sometimes it may doe good, to neglect the naturall order, and beginne first to proue the cause, and afterward to tell it better then it was tolde before.

If the Iudge or the hearers, shalbe wearied with other reportes before, it is best to go to the matter, and proue it out of hande, with as briefe reasons and as strong as can be gathered possible. And in prouing of our matters we

Arguments how they

should be digested.

had neede euermore, rather to weye our reasons, then to number them, and thinke not that then we shall doe beste when we haue the strongest. And first of all the strongest should be vsed, and the other placed in the middest of the oration, the which being heaped together will make a good mustar. And yet this also would be learned, whereas we vsed the best reasons at the first, wee should also reserue some that were like good for the latter end: that the hearers might haue them fresh in their remembrance, when they should giue iudgement. The slender reasons that can do lesse good, and yet not at al (for some may better be omitted) would be placed in the middest (as I said) that both they might be lesse marked, or being heaped there together they might doe more good, especially when both weightie reasons went before, and weightie reasons also folowed after. Now a wiseman that hath good experience in these affaires, and is able to make himself a Rhetorique for euery matter, will not be bound to any precise rules, nor keepe any one order, but such onely as by reason he shall thinke best to vse, being master ouer arte, rather then arte should be maister ouer him, rather making arte by wit, then confounding wit by arte. And vndoubtedly euen in so dooing he shall doe right well, and content the hearers accordingly. For what mattereth whether we followe our booke or no, if wee followe wit and appoint our selfe an order, such as may declare the trueth more plainly? Yea, some that bee vnlearned, and yet haue right good wittes: will deuise with themselues without any booke learning, that they will say, and how much they will saie, appointing their order, and parting it into three or fower partes or more if neede be, such as they shall thinke especiall points, and most meete to bee touched. Whose doings as I can well like, and much commend them for the same: so I would thinke them much more able to doe much better: If they either by learning followed a paterne, or els knewe the precepts which lead vs to right order. Rules were

The vse of

Arte.

therefore giuen, and by much obseruation gathered together, that those which could not see Arte hid in an other mans doings, should yet see the rules open, all in an order set together: and thereby iudge the rather of their doings, and by earnest imitation, seeke to resemble such their inuention. I can not denie, but that a right wise man vnlearned, shall doe more good by his Naturall witte, then twentie of these common wittes that want Nature to helpe Arte. And I knowe that rules were made first by wisemen, and not wisemen made by rules. For these precepts serue onely to helpe our neede, such as by Nature haue not such plentifull giftes. And as for other vnto whom Nature is more fauourable, they are rather put the sooner in remembrance, that such lessons are then so taught as though they neuer knewe them, or els neuer would vse them. And therefore a certain learned man and of much excellencie, being asked what was such a figure, and such a trope in Rhetorique: I can not tell (quoth he) but I am assured, if you looke in the booke of mine Orations, you shal not faile but find them. So that though he knewe not the name of such, and such figures, yet the Nature of them was so familiare to his knowledge, that he had the vse of them when soeuer he had neede. Now though this man could well thus doe, being of such notable vnderstanding, yet it were foly that I should followe his waie, which want so good a wit. And I thinke euen he him selfe should not haue lost by it neither, if he had seen that in a glasse, which he often vsed to doe without knowledge. Man is forgetfull, and there is none so wise but counsaill may doe him good. Yea, he shall doe much better that knoweth what arte other men haue vsed, what inuention they haue followed, what order they haue kept, and how they haue beste doen in euery parte. If he

like not theirs, he may vse his owne, and yet none doth so
euill (I thinke) but some good may be got by him.
The wise therefore will not refuse to heare:
and the ignoraunt for want had
neede to seeke a will. The ende of the second booke.

Continue on to Book III.

Renascence Editions